the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

I Used to Be Lonely, Now I’m Not


I was down.  I was depressed.  I was lonely.  At night I would sit alone, listening to the wind.  Or watch an informercial for a product I didn’t need — with the TV sound off. 

We’ve all been there.  Some of us are there right now. 

Thank you kind bloggers who “shared their bed” with me to ease my loneliness. 

My father never spoke to me about marriage or sex, but he would always say “it is good to have someone to hold around in bed.”  (he really said that — ask Sophia!)

This week is Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year.  My New Year’s wish is that during this year, everyone I’ve met online who doesn’t have somebody should meet someone worthwhile to “hold around in bed.”



Caitlin’s bed is in New York.


Caitlin (of Caitlinator) has gone back to school, does not eat at McDonald’s, and loves her pet chicken.



Laurie’s bed is in Los Angeles. 


Laurie (of Crazy Aunt Purl) is a popular knitting blogger who has inspired me to start making my own socks.  She does not need an alarm clock to wake up in morning because her bright orange bedspread does that for her.



Dagny’s bed is in Berkeley, California.


Dagny (of Dagny’s Empire) is out dancing the night away so often that her cat spends more time on the bed than she does.



Daisy Mae’s bed is in Indianapolis, Indiana. 


Daisy Mae (of Daisy Mae was here…) is well-known for making beautiful blog templates.  She is such a talented graphic artist, that she has made a cut-out of herself to fool her children while she blogs at Starbucks.



Felicity’s bed is in New York.  


Felicity, of Zelos, is not a shy woman.  In fact, she’s thinking of taking up pole dancing.  For some reason, her bed intimidates me.



Heather’s bed is in Orange County, CA.


Heather works and takes care of her kids, and doesn’t have time to blog.   Her bed reflects her “do it all” lifestyle — a little messy, but very homey.



Laura’s bed is in Los Angeles. 


Laura is in the process of starting up her first blog.   I’m guessing there were many sleepless nights in this bedroom with the crib right next to the bed!



Lizardek’s bed is in Sweden.


Lizardek (of Lizardek’s Obiter Dictum) works, has a family, and sings in a choir.   Look at the exquisite European craftsmanship of her bed!  (and no, she didn’t get it at IKEA).



Roberta’s bed is in New Jersey. 


Roberta (of Roberta’s Voice) is the only blogger I know who is both Jewish and Wiccan.   She’s also pretty funny.  I’m still trying to decide if her bedspread looks more Jewish or Wiccan.



Sweet’s bed is in Washington D.C. 


Sweet (of Sour N Sweet) co-blogs with Sour, but her bed is all hers.    I love the relaxed, lived-in look, and the retro wood-grain wall, which reminds me of the time I slept in the basement of Rachel Kinder’s parent’s home in Merrick, Long Island.



Tara’s bed is in Iowa City, Iowa.


Tara (of Scruffylooking) is a mother and a lover of literature, and she lives in a city with a rich literary life.  Her bed has an Asian, Zen-like feel to it, a perfect place to meditate or read Dicken’s Great Expectations.



Mr. Fabulous’s bed is in Gainesville, Florida.


Mr. Fabulous (of Pointless Drivel) is a brave man.  Not only was he recently fired because of his blog, he is the only man MAN enough to send me a photo of his bed.  Why do I have the feeling that Mr. Fabulous — and not Mrs. Fabulous — bought that dark blue comforter?



The Viscountess of Funk’s bed is in Seattle.


The Viscountess (of Postcards From Somewhere) is a mother, a lawyer, and a writer of great imagination.  I also think her bed is large enough to fit my entire blogroll.



Deezee’s bed is in Venice, California.


Deezee (of Confessional Highway) is the coolest Mom ever.  She just took her son to see his first rock concert — the Red Hot Chili Peppers!  As you can see, Deezee is not afraid of showing herself in her bed, although she is clearly upstaged by her sleeping dog.




Two Roads’s bed is in Atlanta, Georgia.


Two Roads (of Lindbergh’s Crossing) is from Atlanta and has some “Scarlett O’hara” in her, which means she frankly gives a damn about having a very nice bed  (I know it’s Rhett’s line, but I liked the way it sounded).



Mari’s bed is in the United Kingdom.


Maria (of Argentine Babe)  is Argentine-born artist in the UK, who gets her best artistic ideas in bed while working with her assistant (shown).



Charming’s bed is in a Southern city.


Charming (of Charming but Single) is a Southerner who likes both her drinks and her boys tall, but her bed nice and soft.



  1. Viscountess of Funk

    I just love this post. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. And everyone has to check out Heelarious.

  2. marcail

    Makes me want to play Goldilocks.

  3. Tara

    Isn’t it crazy how everyones beds look so different? It almost gives a clearer picture of each blogger than the comments they leave here.

    My god Neil, you really pay attention, don’t you?

  4. Linda Freedman

    What a wonderful post. My father called it “take around,” but I’m sure they meant the SAME thing! And what a wonderful new years wish. May all of yours come true.

  5. alice

    love the post.

    I believe your dad is a really smart man.

  6. lizardek

    Hee! Actually, even though I did NOT get the bed at IKEA it’s actually a turn-of-the-century AMERICAN black-walnut bed 🙂

  7. Sarcomical

    oooh, what an interesting experiment on different levels. you can tell so much based a person’s sleep space, but also it’s interesting to see which appeals to you more (i think i love roberta’s best).


    you have no reason to feel lonely, that’s right. 😉

  8. deezee

    And I promise to kick my dog out of bed to facilitate Neil’s New Year’s wish…(but don’t tell the little Chihuahua just yet. I want to break it to him slowly…)

  9. Leesa

    This is great 🙂 I should have sent mine in.

  10. Felicity

    thank you Neil, I really do adore you. YOu are so honest and attentive. I’m sure that a visit to my bed would not intimidate you…maybe just break down a few inhibitions.

  11. mari

    haha that’s fantastic. It’s amazing how much I enjoy looking at other people’s beds.
    I could send you a pic of mine..In fact I will in a moment.
    I’ve changed locations by the way…

  12. Roberta

    Some nights I’m okay being alone (I’ve been single for nearly ever) and some nights I’ve got the nookie on my mind, but last night, from my is-it-wiccan-or-jewish bed, I transported myself into Joe’s arms, specifically for the holding. I like the way your father phrased it. Being held is not to be underrated. It’s why we have teddy bears.
    Thanks for doing this. It’s lovely, and it got me to make my bed. Happy New Year, and I hope these holidays are easy for you.

  13. mari

    Ahhh. Here is a picture of my bed… It’s a little untidy. There is a picture of David Hockney painting on the woods, which is a little unclear. Maybe you can still put it up?

  14. mari

    It didnt appear the first time….

  15. ams

    Oh now I feel all left out!:(

    I’m trés jealous of everyone’s huge comfy beds – alas I have but a single one.

  16. justrun

    Now I sort of wish I’d sent mine in… but maybe not. It doesn’t seem to live up to all those other beds.

  17. Elisabeth

    Being held in bed absolutely rocks. Take it from someone who was not held by anyone (not even her husband) in bed for many long years.

    And a very happy Jewish New Year to you, Neil!

  18. Rhea

    As Sarcomical said, you can tell a lot about a person from their bed. It’s sort of like a Rorschach test without the ink.

  19. Allan

    Having someone special to hold around in bed is the best thing ever.


    Happy Jewish New Year!

    These bed pic’s are voyeristic fun. I need a camera.

  21. fringes

    Perfect post. I’m sleepy…

  22. Cover Your Mouth

    I, too, was feeling all warm and fuzzy reading this, but then I came to this “recently fired because of his blog” and had a mini panic attack. Everytime I read about someone losing their job because of their blog I think “why?” What does one have to write on one’s blog to lose one’s job? Can gratuitous swearing get you canned? Cause I’ve done that recently. What about saying that one of your coworkers’ hair looks like a Russian fur hat? I just really need to know. Also, thanks Neil for the “hold around” wishes. Couldn’t have come at a better time.

  23. danielle

    Love it. I totally should’ve to shared my bed. Next time around.

    L’shanah tovah.

  24. Nics

    Happy New Year! I love Roberta’s bed, gorgeous colour. And thanks for your New Year’s wish for all of us singletons, being held would be nice.

  25. orieyenta

    Great post…from the looks of it you may need to do bed sharing round TWO!

  26. treespotter

    for a sec, i thought this was about you. (from the NYT)

  27. sarah

    Happy New Year Neil : )
    love Caitlins wall quilt!

    but now I wish I were back in bed sleeping!

  28. Sweet

    This came out great! And I just knew mine would be the messiest, haha.

  29. Jody

    Neil, looks like you’ve got a lot to be thankful for this year. Your comments about everyone’s bed are very touching. This was not at all cheesy like you thought it would be. Beds are just fun!

  30. Alex

    What a fun post, and how many thoughtful bloggers there are to have sent you photos. One thing though, why are everyone’s walls white? Where’s the color????

  31. emma

    Wow,I can’t believe people actually sleep in beds like these, they look like something out of a showroom. I would be embarassed for you to see my bed. Festooned with cuddly toys and My Little Ponys (my daughters’ toys, not mine, I swear), as well as mismatched pillows and sheets hanging out all over the place. I guarantee you would not want to hold around anything, even Jenna Jameson, in such a pigsty of a bed.

    I think I’m going to start straightening my bed up right now, I think it feels a little self-conscious after seeing all these better looking beds!

  32. Tara

    My walls are white because I rent and I signed a lease saying I would leave my walls alone.

  33. Heather B.

    I had no idea that Sweet had such great taste in bedding or in wall fixtures.

  34. Caitlinator

    OK, um, just for the record, the “chicken?” It’s a duck. And it’s a hermaphrodite duck, too. Hence the name, “Hermie.” Just wanted to clear that up, because Hermie has ears (and feelings), you know. 😉

    Awesome post as usual, Neil.

  35. Roberta

    Yup; my walls are white because I’d have to paint them back before I moved, and the last thing I will feel like doing when I’m in the middle of packing and moving and paying all kinds of money for a move and stressing is… painting my walls back to their required color.
    I did paint a nifty stripe on my living room wall, as a paint compromise. Perhaps I will post it on my blog.
    Perhaps I will do that now.

  36. deezee

    well, my walls are green, but my sheets are white because my Chihuahua likes to go camouflage. I swear. He told me.

  37. Non-Highlighted Heather

    The bedspread I had before this one was Roberta’s. I loved it, but it wasn’t bulldog proof. When my dog would jump up on the bed, he would snag the gold threading with his nails.

    I too love Caitlin’s wall hanging, but I’m jonesing for Laurie’s bedspread.

  38. better safe than sorry

    what a nice post, really gives you a glimpse into your bloggers, each so different. i do love that bright orange, although i don’t think i could ever actually put that on my bed. i’m in the process of painting my walls, they were dusty rose now they are periwinkle blue.

  39. peefer

    Seeing all these bed makes me feel dirty.

  40. Roberta

    Pictures are posted.
    Heather, that is cool! I have no pooch.
    I also love Caitlin’s wall hanging, and I believe Felicity has ‘Flaming June’ hanging above her bed, which is a stunning print.

  41. Felicity

    Oh Roberta you’re right! Like Neil, you pay attention! yes it is “Falming June,” isn’t she gorgeous! And a redhead like me.

  42. Felicity

    *Flaming. WTH is “falming”??? gah I’m embarassed.

  43. Felicity

    And to Alex: my walls aren’t white. They’re a shade of brown that I had specially mixed to match my very favorite dress. Look again.

  44. Neil

    Talk about an unexpected response! Typical women…Why don’t you all go for brunch together?

    I thought you would be gossiping about “how amazing” it would be to REALLY have me share your bed, not about home decor!

  45. Felicity

    well I would be amazed if you dared to share my bed..but first you’d have to watch me use the pole!!

  46. Melissa

    I love this! Now I need a nap…

  47. fringes

    “I thought you would be gossiping about ‘how amazing’ it would be to REALLY have me share your bed, not about home decor!”

    Then, you should have asked your penis to post the pictures.

  48. Caitlinator

    Fringes definitely has a point, Neil.

  49. Jay

    Wow, no kidding you’re not lonely anymore!

    Now, what can I do if I have someone who likes to hold me around, but I don’t like being held around? Because cuddling creeps me out.

  50. Scarlet

    I had wanted to participate, but DIAL UP internet sucks my soul out and makes it impossible to upload pics:(

  51. Therese

    You know, you have a way of making silly and crazy ideas seem normal.

    Hee hee.

    I think that’s my favourite thing about you.

  52. Jody

    As they (don’t ask me who they is) say: The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Never saw the home decor comments coming did you?

  53. Roberta

    I’m pretty easy, and you seem to like my bed. However, I’m a realist. You’re gonna shlep out to New Jersey to share my bed and not go the next 13 miles and share Sophia’s?
    Just saying.
    (should shlep have a c? schlep? neither looks right.)

  54. Jody

    Roberta – it’s schlept – with the C and a T

  55. Danny

    Wow, this is far more interesting than it has any right to be. You should do a coffee table book called BloggerBedsâ„¢–who knew how much you could learn about a person by looking at their beds! Honestly, you’d make a fortune. I want to know how much people spruced up their bedrooms before taking the photos. Sweet’s bed looks the most “natural” since it’s a little messy. What’s with the ruffles underneath many of the beds, is that a girl thing? I don’t get it.

    P.S. to Jody: Schlep with a T? Huh??

  56. Roberta

    Sorry, I checked four online yiddish dictionaries, all of which are going with shlep.
    No idea where you got the t.
    Neil, my apologies. I occasionally hijack blogs. I am now returning it to its rightful owner, no questions asked.
    (Shlep all the way over to your blog when I can just rant in my own.)

  57. Neil

    It’s always funny the way comments veer off to something else. This post was supposed to be about ME ME ME. First it became about bedroom design, and now it is about the proper spelling of shlep (or schlep).

  58. Non-Highlighted Heather

    What’s with the ruffles underneath many of the beds, is that a girl thing? I don’t get it.

    It’s called a dust ruffle, my testosterone challenged friend.

  59. Neil

    Even I knew that!  Haven’t you ever been in Bed, Bath, and Beyond?

  60. Jody

    Present Tense – I schlep
    Past tense – I schlepped (or t instead of ped) over here.
    Future tense – I am going to schlep.
    Present perfect tense – I have schelpt.
    Past perfect tense – I had been schelpting.
    Future perfect tense – I will have schlept.
    Oh and by the way, my wall color is deep blue only the trim, window treatments and ceiling is white. – Yes I’m bringing it back to the decor issues. I hate grammar! 🙂

  61. Kestrel

    Hey Neil! Just dropping by to wish you a shanna tova. 🙂

  62. Miriam

    A happy and healthy new year, Neil!

  63. Lord Chimmy

    I sleep on the couch most of the time.

  64. Dagny

    I love Heather’s quilt. I have been wanting to change over to a quilt. Guess I’d better stay in a few evenings so I can finally get around to finishing the two different ones I started some time back. (Don’t ask me how long ago.)

    Also, I understood why there was a “t” in “schlep.” I thought to myself, “Ahhh. Obviously past tense.”

    Oh, and Alex my walls are kind of periwinkle. If you had seen the walls, though, you would have seen the mess in my room.

  65. Elizabeth

    Neil– this was a fabulous post! I love that you have nurtured such relationships with people that they send you photos of their bed– a most intimate space. And, I love seeing how much of a person’s character comes through their bed.

    Also, that tiny white dog sleeping under the covers?! omg– cracked me.

  66. scott

    I keep wanting to send you a picture of my bed, but I can’t get all these damned naked women out of it. Every time I scare them away so I can make the bed, dozens more jump on. There are so many of them that you can’t even see the great bedspread I got last year. Only one thing will get rid of them. Excuse me.

    Hello, Neil.

  67. Roberta

    Neil wrote a blog about beds and New Year.
    Neil is the guy whose blog brings us such cheer.
    Stealing the subject via all our comments
    Is something over which our good host Neil laments
    So let’s sing a song or just hum for our friend
    And bring the discussion of ‘schlep spell’ to its end.

    — Friday poetry by rkl

  68. Non-Highlighted Heather

    Thanks, Dagny. I’m in my foo foo stage right now. I’m sure I’ll get a new one in another six months and it’ll be completely the opposite.

    And Scott, all I have to say is, HA!

  69. Bama Girl

    Very cute post and made me smile too. Blogging friends do bring a lot to our lives, don’t they?

  70. Lynne W. Scanlon

    I’m following Dave Lull’s trail via Frank Wilson’s blog.

    This is a charming, fascinating and funny post! I’m big on dust ruffles myself.

    Lynne AKA The Wicked Witch of Publishing

  71. Neil

    New beds added! 9/24!

  72. Mr. Fabulous

    Your perception astounds me…

    I am indeed the comforter fan in the family…

  73. Stacy

    I love this idea!

    Found your blog today and just wanted to say it’s great!

  74. Dagny

    Oooo. I want Charming’s headboard.

  75. Paris Parfait

    OK, now I wish I’d made up my bed and sent you a photo – you’ve made everyone’s bed sound so charming.

  76. mari

    Are you sure that’s my bed? That looks like dooce’s dog.
    Actually leave it- that picture makes my bedroom look cooler than it actually is.

  77. amy beth

    i feel like such a loser. i have no headboard /bed furniture, just a frame with a king bed.

    I love the king size bed though!!!!!!!!

    i’ve been looking for a king bed I CAN AFFORD for about 3 years now.

    anyone have any crafty suggestions?

    email me! if you would be so kind!????

  78. Roberta

    Omigod I SO want Charming’s headboard as well.

  79. deannie

    I totally loved this post – wow, you have a talent for drawing out the most interesting things. And thank you for such a kind new year wish, I am hopeful for the new year. Wishing you good things for this new year as well Neil.


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