I end my worst week of blogging with a warning: ignore me. When I’m sane, it’s OK for me to ask you to send me a photo of your bed. When I’m crazed and needy and sort of horny after weeks of tension over Sophia’s surgery, DO NOT send me a photo of your bed, no matter how much I beg you for it.
Here are a couple of things I did today that should put me on some sort of “Do Not Blog With Him” list:
I started out the day emailing Jason, who lives in Nova Scotia, and telling him that I’m wearing a t-shirt that reads “Nova Scotia,” which my mother bought me years ago when she visited… Nova Scotia. Like he gives a crap. (Bonkers!)
I emailed two “anonymous” bloggers to ask them to send me photos of themselves since I was curious to see what they looked like. (Nuts!)
I emailed Heather Anne and told her that I want to know more about her, so I’m going to read her old archives. (Stalker!)
I wrote a bizarre and convoluted email to Pam, telling her why I thought BlogHer excluding men was like putting a nativity scene on public property during Christmas, and making Jews feeling left out. (Insanity!)
I stared at Heather B’s photo for twenty minutes, thinking, “Jeez, I would like SO date her!” (Pervert!)
I briefly IM-ed with Ms. Sizzle and Sarcastic Fringehead, asking them if they were “mad at me” because I haven’t read their blogs lately. Surprisingly, neither of them really noticed! (Insecure!)
I showed up at Thursday’s Stitch and Bitch meeting at the Farmer’s Market, hoping to run into Ellen Bloom, but she wasn’t there. The other knitters looked at me like I was some sort of serial killer. (Arrest him!)
Run, don’t walk from this blog. Run!
(but come back next week, when hopefully things will be back to normal)
Neil’s Penis: “I very much doubt that!”
First of all, I’m sorry I said you were needy.
I was only giving you crap because it’s twitter, and that’s what we do on there. As for “prolly”, I only use that word when I feel like that voice I’m using to comment with is the 8 year old smart ass voice that lives deep inside me.
You never did bring me my coffee tho, and I had to suffer through a 14 hour day at work before leaving for the airport. I’m actually in Oregon right now, visiting the rents. I’ve been keeping an eye out for all blog worthy events, as well as any tree stumps shaped like penises, to cheer up Sophia.
I know you’re going through a hard time, and I’m not very good at comforting people, so instead I make fun of them. It’s my way…
Erin, you were right. I was needy. Say hello to the lovely state of Oregon for me. We loved it!
By the way, I did get those two photos of anonymous bloggers, and it was very exciting to see their faces.
Anyone who ever wants to send me a photo of themselves, please do!
Sween is right. Strong, vital AND delightfully charming.
I started putting photos of me on my blog. I guess now I won’t be the mysterious chick people have to beg for a picture.
I’ll be the “You don’t look like a Stacey” chick.
a very cute post – it made my heart smile