This week is the first anniversary of my father’s passing. When I started writing this blog, I didn’t expect my usual nonsense and sex jokes to be interrupted by a phone call asking Sophia and I to fly home to New York. I certainly didn’t expect to blog about the experience and receive so much comfort from bloggers. And I most definitely in a million years did not expect bloggers to help us decide what to write on my father’s stone! Thanks.
Hey, Dad.
Happy New Year. Shana Tova.
You always had a quirky sense of humor, but this takes the cake. When we all agreed, including my blogging friends, that “Be of Good Cheer” was ideal for the stone in the cemetery it was because that was your “tagline” whenever you said goodbye to someone on the phone. I figured you picked up that phrase from one of those old British war movies you loved to watch. Today, I did some research on Google, and guess what? You got the last laugh! The phrase was popularized by… Jesus! Of all people, this is who I’m writing about on Rosh Hashana?! Well, at least he was Jewish.
The idea of “good cheer” is derived from the Greek word tharsei, and the meaning of “cheer” is very different from what we associated today with that word. Tharsei meant “to dare to be bold,” “to take courage,” “to replace fear with hope.” The word tharsei is so old, it can even be seen in Homer’s Odyssey.
The phrase is also found in the Septuagint version of the Old Testament, as when Moses is at the Red Sea:
Two million people were trapped between the sea and the approaching Egyptian army. Escape was humanly impossible. In that moment of supreme crisis, Moses cried out to the people, “Fear not! Stand still and see the miracle of the Lord!” (Exod 14:13).
The idea of “cheering up” now had a slightly different meaning: “Take heart!”
Repeatedly through the Old Testament, God’s people were encouraged to take heart, based on who God is and what God would do. “Fear not, O Zion . . . the Lord your God is in your midst” (Zeph 3:16-17). “Take courage . . . I am with you . . . My Spirit is abiding in your midst; Do not fear!” (Hag 2:4-5).
In the New Testament, tharsei is constantly on the lips of Jesus.
A helpless paralytic heard Jesus say, “Take courage, My son, your sins are forgiven” (Matt 9:2). A hopeless woman was told by Jesus, “Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well” (Matt 9:22). Blind Bartimaeus lived in utter despair until Jesus came to Jericho and they summoned the blind man, saying, “Take heart, arise! He is calling for you” (Mark 10: 49).
This is all fascinating stuff to me because it now makes more sense why you said “Be of Good Cheer.” I always thought it was odd that you used that phrase, mostly because I interpreted “good cheer” as meaning “go have a good time” or “live it up by drinking a lot of eggnog at the Christmas office party” You were always a conservative man and you were not the type to tell anyone to “live it up.” You were too much of worrywart for that. You worried a lot about everyone — mostly everyone except yourself.
Your “Be of Good Cheer” was not about fun, but about courage. As a practical man, you were telling people to be strong, despite the challenges they might meet. That sounds EXACTLY like something you would say! Be strong. Like Penelope warding off suitors as she waits for Odysseus’ return. Or the Israelites trusting Moses to walk into the Red Sea. Or a sick beggar trusting that Jesus will make him healthy.
In all these examples, those in need got “cheer” — “courage” — by knowing that something bigger than them was on their side, looking over their shoulder. You were saying something similar. You weren’t saying “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” and putting all the responsibliity on them. You were saying, “Don’t Worry. If you ever need me, I’ll be there.”
And you were always there, for so many people.
I can certainly get courage knowing that you are looking over me and Mom. I will certainly have “good cheer” knowing you will always be around.
Even so, we miss you.
You can read all posts about my father here.
Lots of comments, here, Neil. Nevertheless, wanted to add my sentiment of sending good juju your way.
Love ya.
thank you for posting this today, Neil. Your Dad, thru you, has given me a message I realy needed to hear TODAY! I am really touched by this..connectedness…If I can tune into you today..just for my usual chuckle…and instead hear what I needed to hear..in the way I needed to hear it…I think that is SO COOL…And probably a sign to YOU from your dad…that he is right there with you, helping you..and all your newfound friends. Thanks!
This is a beautiful post. What a wonderful thing to realize about your father, the depth and love he brought about everyday without anyone else knowing. Just because he was that kind of guy.
Happy New Year, Neil. I’m sure that your dad is celebrating all of your accomplishments and your great sense of humor with good cheer.
Really wonderful, Neil. Your humor and sentimentality is certainly in the spirit of good cheer.
Awesome etymology detective work. Your dad knew what he was talking about.
Blogging is actually a surprising therapeutic outlet for grief. Here you get to write a moving tribute to your father, and get some comfort in the process. Just another reason why bloggers, as a rule, rock.:)
Interesting etymological digging. Tharsei. Dare to be bold, I could use that in my life. L’Shana Tovah!
He will always be in your heart, Neil. And you know it too.
I thought of you and your dad yesterday morning as I was eating breakfast at Saul’s. Lovely post.
Lovely post, Neil. The “inscription” theme is especially appropriate. Your dad made his inscription upon you. May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.
For you today: Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…” Be merry and be of good cheer on this New Year – it is good for you!
Great post, Neil – your father would be proud of your tribute – and of you! xo
Neil, I remember last September even without rereading your posts from that time frame. I’d been so touched then how you wrote about your father, and I’m equally touched now.
Your father certainly sounds like a special, well-loved man…and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
May that apple continue to be dipped in honey and allow for sweetness in your life.
Shana Tovah, Neil & Sophia & Elaine.
excellent post darling… you warmed the cockles of my heart.
It’s not that I don’t want to say something…I just don’t know what. How blessed you were, sweetie. And how blessed he must’ve felt as well.
You just got a Sunday tear out of me. Thanks for writing this.
Thank you Neil for sharing these beauty full thoughts, memories and especially lessons with us.
Shana Tova! Kulu sana wa inta sa’id.
Fitèna
“Shana Tova” to you dad, wherever he may be.
That was a great post. You always seem to have the perfect words to use to express your feelings regardless where on the range of emotions you may be. The mark of a great writer.
Hi Neil,
Thanks for writing about your father. You made me feel as if I knew him. “Be of good cheer” is such a good phrase to use in the bad and good times of life.
You will always miss your father, but the grief gradually becomes softer and the memories more important than the grief. That’s the great consolation of time.
What a beautiful post, Neil. Thanks for reflecting with us. Blessings to you in the New Year.
You stir in my longing for a loving relationship with my Dad. I don’t have one. But my mother was the parent I was closest to; she affected me like this. Keeps teaching me things even though she has been gone thirteen years…how lucky we are that we had such winsome teachers.
Thank you for sharing this with your humble readers. I loved learning what this phrase meant today.
hugs,
This Neil, I why I so like you.
I hope all is well.
I found this through your “A Year Ago Today” feature. It’s wonderfully written.
A lovely sentiment in keeping your dad close at heart. Thank you for your courage to share with others.
I know this is an older post, but I truly believe that G_d led me to your blog. I’m facing a difficult situation today and was wondering, “I know I’m supposed to trust You, but I need help right at this moment…” The words ‘Be of Good Cheer’ popped into my head. I knew this was a verse, but I didn’t find what I was looking for on my online Bible. So I Googled it, and lo and behold, I’m here. And you’ve said just what I needed. ‘Take heart!’ ‘Replace fear with hope.’
Thank you, Neil. Blessings to you and yours always.
Razor
Thanks, Razor. I hope you can overcome your situation and find comfort.