the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Better Late Than Never


Five months ago, Sophia was in New York working and I was lonely.  To ease my pain, many of you sent me photos of your beds.  Deannie, the writer of “Home is Where the Heart Is” told me that she wanted to send me a photo, but she didn’t have her own bed.  She promised to send me a photo once she got her condo and bought a bed.

Yesterday, I received a photo of Deannie’s bed.  Nothing impresses me more than someone who keeps a promise.

From what I gather, this is actually the wrong bed that was delivered to her home, but she decided to keep in “instead of going through all the hassle of the exchange process.”

I, for one, like the bed.  It is very antique-looking, like something you might see in an old house in Vermont.  I especially like the elaborate headboard. 

Now, as the rabbis of yore used to do, I would like to recite the tradtional blessing for a new bed:

“Deannie, may this bed bring you much joy.  May you have many a restful night as you sleep soundly in this cozy and warm bed.  May you have pleasant dreams and wake up refreshed from your nights sleeping in this wonderful new bed.  And may you have many memorable nights @%#@** against the elaborate headboard.”

Update:  Next time I am alone, I won’t be needing your bed photos, thanks to my new sheet and pillow case combo.   (thanks, Dagny!)


P.S. — I’m also doing my first “guest-blogging” stint at No Pasa Nada.   So, for one day you can call me Heather!


  1. Caron

    I just can’t buy that the rabbis of yore would say, “cozy.”

  2. Pearl

    Nu? So why did present-day rabbis cease from uttering this blessing?

    Damn, I’ve had the perfect bed, the perfect man for thirteen years…

  3. You can call me, 'Sir'

    Man, those rabbis of yore were pretty saucy with their blessings.

  4. ms. sizzle

    is it wrong that the rabbi turned me on?

  5. deannie

    Wow, my move into single life and a new home is complete now with a rabbi of yore’s blessing. So, uh, this rabbi have a phone number?

  6. tiff

    Mazel tov!

    Whee!! Slippery sheet-ies too! Enjoy.

  7. Long Story Longer

    I love that she kept her promise 🙂

  8. Not Faint Hearted

    What a beautiful room! Congratulations!

  9. Jennie

    Hope you’re having a good day, Heather.

  10. Mo

    I didn’t know you were still open to submissions…

  11. Neil

    Mo – I never refuse a woman’s bed.

  12. Karl

    Never realized there were such progressive rabbis. Sign me up!

  13. Bre

    It looks like a fairy tale bed! Good call on keeping the “wrong” one, Deannie!

  14. mrsatroxi

    I don’t comment very often because I end up sounding both dorky and dumb, but I wanted to say how much I enjoyed this post and the one that spawned it.

    I’m going to shut up now.

    The less I say, the better, usually.

  15. V-Grrrl

    My bed is L.L. Bean. This bed is Victoria’s Secret.

    Deannie, I bet you don’t wear Hanes for Her.

  16. Jurgen Nation

    Neil, you’re going to be freaked the hell out when you wake up to find that you kicked “Girl Head Pillow” on the floor and are lying next to a headless model-type.

    I’m just saying.

    I wish I could be there to hear the scream. Damn, why won’t Sophia start her own blog? That is PRICELESS.

  17. Churlita

    Hey Heather,

    Do they have one of those with a guy instead? It could be perfect for me.

  18. deannie

    You know what V-grrrl? I work out after work and have been working so much at the office that often I fall asleep in my workout clothes. Bah!

  19. Neil

    Jurgen — Yeah, so what? She won’t have a head. All the good stuff will still be there. You don’t understand men at all.

  20. better safe than sorry

    that is a great bed, even in the photo you can see the elaborate detail in the head board and footboard. your sheets are nice too, i wonder if they come in male?

  21. Ariel

    We can call you Heather? Ooh you saucy minx you!

  22. Becky

    I was wondering…do those sheets come in a male verson!?? haha

  23. deannie

    Neil, I never said Thank you properly. I really did appreciate the blessing on the bed!

  24. Violet

    I doubt that sheet and pillow set would be good for anything other than photo opportunities!

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