the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Almost Weekend Update

Just some random blogging updates before the weekend —

Sprint disconnected my Sprint Ambassador phone today.  So much for my pimping.  


I do, however, command respect from the Bunch O’Panties website.


I am on the shortlist to be reviewed by Bloglaughs, which is problematic because when I am expected to be funny, I just freeze up and become mean.   Dooce, maybe you can call me up and give me some advice.


Citizen of the Month has gone Pink for October.  Remember to donate to good causes, such as The Wellness Community of the South Bay.


I received one more bed today (a little behind schedule) from the talented artist, Margaret.  Now Maggie, I know some people like to keep their bedroom “romantic,” but how about putting a few lights in there?  How is a man ever going to see you naked in the dark?


Finally, did any of the “Yenta the Blogmatcher” matches work out?   I’ve noticed a few of you are now reading EACH OTHER rather than coming to me.  That’s fine.  I’m not going to go all yenta on you and give you some Jewish guilt.  Go, have fun.  Go to Vegas together and live it up.  I’ll just sit at home alone and write blog comments. 

Don’t worry about me.


And – be warned about future posts about loneliness and drug intake during the entire month of October.  Sophia is now going to be working in New York until November.

(Sophia Lansky)

But, on a positive note, because so many kind bloggers have reminded me to take my cholesterol medicine while Sophia was gone (particularly Leese and Akaky), my “bad” cholesterol has gone down to 190!


Life is good!




    You’re my first love, but Cover Your Mouth introduced me to Eek, and I’m really, really enjoying her.

    If I had a sprint phone, I’d cut off my service to punish them for all the good they chose not to allow you to do!

    Thanks for posting my bed, however late, I do love a mention!

  2. fringes

    Momentary Academic aka Fictional Rockstar and I are enjoying our match. I am also loving on Margaret, the above commenter, who(m) I also met through your blog. You do great work and I’m not too shy to say that I love you, too. Have a great weekend! ~Erica

  3. Monkey

    Dear Mr. Citizen,

    I found you through “the shortlist” at bloglaughs. I too just found myself on that same shortlist. Frankly, I’m terrified. I’m not a humor blog and if I’m expected to be funny, you can bet your grandmother that I won’t be.

    I feel your pain.

    And you are very funny.


  4. calzone


    Oh my god that Monkey is funny!!!

  5. Tara

    I love Brooke’s blog and I also found and love Margaret’s blog through you. She is so popular right now.

    Don’t worry, I will never ever leave your blog. EVER.

  6. Neil

    Did you notice that Margaret keeps her shoe rack right next to her bed? Now that’s what I call a shoe fetish!

  7. Felicity

    hey both my girls–Mari & Jessica–have visited me, although they’re just not you, Neil.

    Give it up with Dooce, willya? Doesn’t the similarity between the words Dooce and, say, Dupe, or Dope, or Doof, strike you at ALL?? Gah I hate that woman.

    TTYL babe, and hey, you never came by to visit my HNT based on the black leather bra?! Are you breaking up with me??

  8. Jody

    Neil, I have read and commented on my match but alas I don’t believe there has been a reciprocal response. No matter, you still did a fantastic job and I will be forever grateful for the “bed” exposure.

  9. Scarlet

    Best of luck on the review;) I THINK NEIL IS THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON THE PLANET!

  10. laurie

    Sophia has the best smile, you just feel happy looking at her!

    Well, you probably feel something else. But I feel happy.

    Now, go forth and be funny! Now! Do it!

  11. Neil

    Jody — Oh, Amanda just likes to play hard-to-get. I stick with my match. maybe you DO have something in common.

    Scarlet — You’ve just won Blog Crush of the Day tomorrow! (even though I know you are BS-ing and would push me off the roof to get to talk to Dooce for five minutes).

  12. laurie

    Who is this dooce and does she know George Clooney??? Because I don’t know why any of ya’ll have your own websites, because they are really pains in the butt, but I do it solely to one day have George Clooney A) take up knitting B) fall in love with me and C) come live in my house. Or, you know, me in his house. Whatevs! Details not important! Less Dooce, more George Clooney!

  13. laurie

    Sorry, neil, it’s late and I am still at work on a Friday and I am this close to needing a cabernet IV. I have apparently become a spammer. whoops.

  14. Dave2

    Any blog that features monkey panties is funny in my book!

  15. George Clooney

    As a faithful reader of your blog, Neil, who is this Laurie and why does she have such a strange hold on me? Maybe we can meet in a mini-mall one day and have some pupusas.

  16. laurie

    hee hee

    [insert bad pun re: pupusas here]

  17. Alison

    Awww, no matter what the outcome of the Bloglaughs thing, I’ll still love you and continue to think you’re funny.

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you’re a good guy, Neilochka.

  18. Sarah

    I have been a very bad blogger and very bad at anything blog-related, as you well know…so I have to shamefully admit that I have yet to introduce myself to my match and that I’ll even have to go back and look up who it is.  Sigh.  I suck.
    I am trying to get myself back to commenting, and I’m starting with YOU! Because you are SO! FUNNY!  And kind.
    Thank you.

  19. Neil

    Sarah, you haven’t been to Schmutzie yet? You really ARE terrible.  It’s like I set you up on a blind date and you leave the other person sitting in the coffee shop waiting for three days? Maybe it is time for you to take a break from taking sexy photos of yourself (not that I’m complaining) and rejoining society!  Would VOTING for your photo be an incentive?

  20. Charming, but single

    Thanks for the surgery shoutout. I’m feeling better. But I’m STARVING. I had this dream of warm potato soup and I even bought some of the stuff for my mom to cook it for me, but my mean tonsil surgeon said I can’t have anything hot until next week. I can eat lukewarm and room temperature foods tomorrow. I have not had real food in a week. Blows.

    Love the pink. And I think you’re hysterical. All the time.

  21. brooke

    These comments are hilarious. Also, is that your underwear? Cause really, yikes.

  22. teahouseblossom

    Well, come visit her in New York!

    And I’d send you a photo of my bed, but I’m kind of shy. That and the bed is covered in crap – papers, my dry cleaning, dirty clothes, and all.

  23. Roberta

    Dude, my apologies. I just stole your blog name, without realizing it.

    (heh heh I just ‘duded’ you.)

  24. Deborah

    What a chock-full post! Glad you’re going pink for Oct – good reminder! I got my first mammo last week (clear!) Speaking of health…congrats on the lower cholesteral count. Sorry to hear that Sophia’s return is now delayed. Just blog out your frustrations!

  25. D-Nice

    Neil, you are my idol, that is for SURE.

  26. CrankMama

    Hey Neil,
    Yenta works!! I have enjoyed meeting Jen at Jen Run Jen and she has come over to CrankMama a few times as well.

    Can you find me a good babysitter now?

  27. Tara

    Oh my god but Sophia is adorable. Now wonder you miss her so much.

  28. Rebecca

    Neil, I’m just starting to get back to reading blogs regularly and I had to tell you you’re just adorable in your profile picture. And Sophia of course is beautiful.

  29. Annie D.

    The next time you start to freeze up and get mean when you’re trying to be funny, why don’t you use that technique that public speakers use?

    Imagine everyone in your (reading) audience wearing (monkey) panties.

    It works for me.

  30. BlogLaughs

    Neil, don’t worry. I’ve already received two or three reviews for your site and they’re all positive.

    The only bad thing is that even with a positive review, someone will surely make a comment that will make you scratch your head. Check out our review for Dave2’s site. He managed our highest score and a couple of people still didn’t like Blogography.

    That being said, I can guarantee there will be more positive than negative comments. You gotta remember, one of your regular readers is the editor. 🙂

    (I only vote once, though, so don’t think I’ll fudge the numbers.)

  31. communicatrix

    What a gorgeous shot of Sophia!

  32. Neil

    I don’t want to say anything that might influence Bloglaughs, but I think everyone who writes for that site deserves a free Sprint Ambassador phone!

    And take it from me. When I speak, Sprint listens. For example, it wasn’t five minutes after I wrote about how much I loved their phone that they responded by… well… eh, Cingular is better anyway.

  33. plain jane

    Beautiful, beautiful, Sophia…glowing with life and intelligence (and love that sweater).

    Funny, funny, Neil…witty and bright. The trick about imagining the audience in monkey undies should do the trick!

  34. ms. sizzle

    until November now!? good thing october is boobiethon month. you can get your fill there. this time neil, don’t spend hours looking for my boob pic, ok?

    oh who are we kidding! ha.

    pink suits you.

  35. Neil

    Of course not, Sizzle. I’ll recognize them from last time.

  36. kristen

    So Sophia gets the opportunity to see fall’s blazing glory and you get an envelope full of crushed leaves. I was trying to think of the Yiddish word for face (pisher? punim?) because Sophia’s got a pretty one. Oh and I’ve had to repeatedly return to your site so my daughter can laugh at the Curious George panties.

  37. rach

    love the pants sooooooo much. Looking forward to the miserable slitty wristy posts in absence of sophia

  38. Amy K

    Neil, I say come here to NY and I will give you and Sophia tons of recs for a romantic weekend! Enough of this already, Sophia! I know NYC is the best place on Earth, so either get Neil to move here or get thy beautiful self back there! (Loved the photo, too)

    The best panties are at Urban Outfitters.


    Tara said I’m popular! And it’s all your doing. You’re a blog god, even with your muse in NY.

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