INT. LOST HILLS SHERIFF’S STATION – LOS ANGELES – NIGHT
Mel Gibson, still drunk off his ass, is sitting in his cell, mumbling to himself about the f**king Jews. Suddenly Danny Glover comes bursting in through the door.
Mel: “Danny, what the f**k?”
Danny: “Partners forever, my Lethal Weapon friend. Let’s get out of here. I rigged the place. It’s gonna blow.”
Mel and Danny jump out the window and the entire jail explodes.
Mel: “Thanks, Danny.”
Danny: “We have to get out of here… and fast. The Sheriff’s Department can’t cover-up your anti-Semitic rants forever.”
Mel: “F**k those Jew-loving cops. I would OWN Malibu if that Yenta Barbra Streisand didn’t already own it. Let’s go over to Nobu in Malibu for some sake and sushi.”
Danny: “Maybe we should hide out in my place until things calm down.”
Mel: Yeah, we can pick up some ebony hookers. Sugar tits, here comes the Passion of the Dick!”
Danny shakes his head sadly.
Danny: “I’m getting too old for this shit!”
Mel: No, you’re not, Danny. You’re one motherf***ing good black dude! As long as you’re not a fag. You’re not one of those that take it up the arse, are you?”
Danny: Why do I always have to be the responsible, by-the-book buddy and you always the crazy loose cannon?
Mel: “It’s those f**king Jew screenwriters!”
from police report
Update: Mel apologizes. The “I was drunk” excuse. Jeez, funny, but when I get drunk, which is very very rare, I sing dirty songs, but I never blurt out ethnic slurs!