(Easter eggs vs. Passover matzoh balls)
Yes, it’s that time of the year again as Jews and Christians battle it out for Spring Holiday of the Year.
Let the Games Begin!
1) HOLIDAY CANDY — EASTER VS. PASSOVER
Marshmellow Peeps (-10)
Cadbury Mini Eggs (+12)
Fruit slices (+5)
Barton’s Kosher for Passover Chocolates (-15)
HOLIDAY CANDY WINNER: EASTER!
2) HOLIDAY CAKE — EASTER VS. PASSOVER
Hot Cross Buns (+25)
Assorted Easter Cakes (+50)
Streit’s Macaroons (-150)
Passover Cakes (-100)
HOLIDAY CAKE WINNER: EASTER!
3) HOLIDAY MEAL — EASTER VS. PASSOVER
Glazed Ham (-150)
Leg of Lamb (-50)
Vegetables (+50)
Brisket (+150)
Matzo Kugel (+75)
Gefilte Fish (-25)
Matzo Ball Soup (+350)
HOLIDAY MEAL WINNER: PASSOVER!
4) HOLIDAY FUN — EASTER VS. PASSOVER
Making Easter Eggs (+30)
Rolling Easter Eggs (+3)
Finding the Afikomen [hidden matzo] and making money (+100)
HOLIDAY FUN WINNER: PASSOVER!
5) HOLIDAY ”SURPRISE” GUEST — EASTER VS. PASSOVER
The Easter Rabbit (+20)
Elijah showing up to the seder to drink his “glass of wine.” (-1)
HOLIDAY ”SURPRISE GUEST” WINNER: EASTER!
6) HOLIDAY MOVIE — EASTER VS. PASSOVER
“The Passion of the Christ” — a violent and depressing movie (-25)
“The Ten Commandments” — old-school epic with lots of action and sex. (+140)
HOLIDAY MOVIE WINNER: PASSOVER!
7) HOLIDAY ”HOT DATE” — EASTER VS. PASSOVER
Bringing Heidi Klum to your Easter Dinner. (+100)
Bringing Barbra Streisand to you Passover Seder. (+550)
HOLIDAY ”HOT DATE” WINNER: PASSOVER!
hilary clinton is the easter bunny?!?!
(okay, maybe that’s not her in the picture, but it looks like her).
and the easter bunny should actually be negative points for fucking all those chickens just to get eggs, and if you think about it, that means he could have some serious bird flu. the one in the picture is scary. holy smokes. if i were three and i saw that bunny, i’d be crying.
(please excuse the fact that i used the F-word in the same pargraph as “easter.”)
i love this! i’m looking forward to the manecheivitz wine.
Dude, you need a better picture of Heidi Klum. I don’t like her hair like that.
Lynn, that’s called stacking the evidence. Choose the worst picture of Heidi. Choose the best picture of Barbra. The Jews win. C’mon, I gave you the candy category. Stop complaining already.
i love macaroons and that’s all
you’re going to get out of me
tonight.
How can brisket’s puny butt win anything? Have you ever tasted brisket? It’s like, the ickiest cut of meat on the market! And also, peeps are not so much easter candy as easter fun – you can have all sorts of explody, oozy, sticky fun, which would give easter the edge in that category for sure.
Great idea for a post.
What is Jay smoking? A properly cooked brisket is a thing of beauty (I just put a 13-lb. one in the oven). And I won’t give the goyim “The Ten Commandments” as an Easter film because it takes place 1200 years before the birth of Christ. But nothing beats a well stocked Easter basket, I admit it.
Brisket in the oven????? WTF? You put that bad boy on the bar-b-que pit and smoke it nice and slow. Oven? Seriously?
“Choose the worst picture of Heidi. Choose the best picture of Barbra. The Jews win.”
Neil, that statement is so bizarre on so many levels I dont know where to start. (Your penis really has gone on vacation, hasnt it?)
LMAO! I see some pluses on both sides Neil! Although having Babs at your holiday would clinch it for me!
3T
Melissa, that’s goy brisket. Jewish brisket must be overcooked in the oven.
Melissa’s from Texas. They BBQ everything, even their breakfast cereal.
Back off, bubba, grilled Corn Flakes kick ass, and don’t get me started on the Cherrios.
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, brilliant. unfortunately, though, you neglected to account for the jelly that sometimes adheres to the gefilte fish…still i believe your tally is correct and can be considered valid even given this oversight. nice work. (i laughed out loud at your extraordinarily high rating for babs at passover dinner)
Oy! Imagine a Seder with Barbra airing her profound thoughts! Haven’t we Jews suffered enough? What’s wrong with Rachel Weisz?
Neil. Macaroons are awesome. Even I, not one of the chosen, enjoy the fruits of Junior’s this time of the year.
All the good Easter stuff is really pagan in origin. Of the truly Christian traditions, the Good Friday service creeped me out as a child. Oh yeah, and giving up stuff for Lent sucks. I agree passover wins.
You say all this stuff about Passion of the Christ because none of you have had ANY experience of God. So, please, be respectful with people that have.
The only mention of the Passion of the Christ was about a movie. What does that have to do with God?
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This is in reply to the person who wished they were Jewish, You don’t have to be Jewish to celebrate Passover, just go to Passover On The Net.com, it is a great website, just keep in mind in order to have a successful Passover celebration you need to research, and make plans.You can also get books from your local library. Happy Passover!
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