the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Sophia’s Dream


Sophia and I had the worst flight back to Los Angeles. Sophia had a cold. The obnoxious couple in front of us had a crying baby. The airplane was cramped. When we arrived in Los Angeles, LAX was backed up because of the RAIN! We waited in the airplane for two and half hours!

This morning, back at Redondo Beach, Sophia is sick in bed, drugged up on cold medicine. She turned to me as she woke up from an unrestful sleep.

Sophia: “I had a weird dream. But it was so vivid. Like it was real.”

Neil: “About what?”

Sophia: “About the laptop. It was broken.”

Neil: “A virus?”

Sophia: “No, it was physically broken. And I really wanted to use the laptop, but every time I would lift up the top, it would just fall down and do nothing. Like it was weak. It was totally frustrating.”

Neil: “Could you turn it on?”

Sophia: “Of course I can turn it on, that’s not the problem. I kept working on it, over and over again, trying to keep it up. It was as if my life was depending on it. I kept on trying to prop it up. But the top would just fall down, useless. Up, down, up, down. And then I got tired of trying to make it go up, because it would just stay up for a second, then flop down again.”

Neil: “That’s a weird dream to have about your laptop.”

Sophia: “Yeah, it was especially weird because I was actually trying to use YOUR laptop.”

Neil: “My laptop?”

Sophia: “Isn’t that weird? Why would I have this dream?”

Neil: “Hmmm… You know, maybe you should take another Contac, go back to sleep, and hopefully you’ll forget we ever had this conversation.”

P.S. — Hey, what do you want? I can’t write heartfelt pieces about Kissena Boulevard forever!


  1. Finn

    Neil, is something wrong with your, uh, laptop?

  2. schmutzie

    Neil, I think your laptop needs to relax.

  3. Atomic Bombshell

    Yikes! Paging Dr. Freud.

  4. Neil

    Mom (calling Sophia): Did you read Neil’s last post? I don’t understand it at all. What’s the matter with the computer?

    Sophia: blah blah blah

    Mom: Oh!

  5. sizzle

    did your mom really call? that’s great!

    your “laptop” needs viagra? 😉

  6. Ash

    Oh Neil Neil. You have managed to infect Sophia with your Freudian dreams…

  7. Sophia

    Ash, the voice of reason! 🙂

  8. mrs mogul

    It’s amazing that she can actually sleep on the plane! I can never do that cause I’m one of those obnoxious parents with the crying baby! 🙂

  9. Akaky

    Like Joseph’s dreams for Pharaoh, it is clear that this dream has a deeply prophetic meaning. The laptop is THE modern symbol of power and status, and yet in the always lovely Sophia’s dream it does not function. What’s worse, it’s your laptop that does not function, not hers. This very clearly points to your experiencing a prolonged bout of impotence sometime in the immediate future, followed by the large scale ingestion of Viagra and chicken soup. In order to avoid this, sacrifice a pure white lamb and smear its blood over the bleachers entrance at Yankee Stadium. While waiting for this to take effect, you may want to encourage your penis to take up a hobby, quilting, perhaps, or maybe even collecting old Coca-Cola cans; almost anything that will take its mind off its prolonged inactivity will do.

  10. gorillabuns

    so, does she subconsciously wish your laptop was broken?

    i know my husband does.

  11. Bre

    Methinks you may want to revisit “The Interpretation of Dreams”…

  12. Dagny

    I absolutely love Akaky’s comment. The only change I would make is to make the hobby knitting. So much hotter than quilting. Although I have been known to quilt as well.

  13. Bemused

    Sounds like a subliminal message that your laptop needs an ‘upgrade’. Or she’ll buy her own…

  14. kapgar

    The moral of this story? Never let Sophia anywhere near your laptop. You know now what to expect. 😉

  15. Tuck

    ED – Electronic Dysfunction. No need for Bob Dole…who should we get to be the spokesperson…Bill Gates?

  16. wendy

    If you were a smart man, you would tell her to just keep working on it….and put a little effort into it..

    Guys..I mean..laptops like effort..right?

    Perhaps a lapdance for your laptop…when she is feeling better, that is.

  17. TRO

    Perfect talking penis post in the making, bud.

  18. V-Grrrl

    Watch the laptop Viagra. That can lock your system up in the worst way–and give you a headache…

  19. cruisin-mom

    I wouldn’t touch this post with a 10 foot pole

  20. Dana

    I dunno, Neil, it sounds somehow salvageable to me. At least she didn’t say your laptop had a catastrophic drive failure!

  21. Tuck

    After the laptop viagra, Should your laptap function for more than 4 hours, you should go see a technician.

  22. ajooja

    I dream about my hot sister-in-law about twice a week but I never get to treat her like a laptop. 😉

  23. teahouseblossom

    This post is totally hot.

  24. Karl

    I’m thinking that the laptop is a metaphor for your, um, little laptop.

  25. august

    That’s a picture of my laptop

  26. Nutrition Expert

    I own a similar laptop

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