#1 –Â On September 7, 2005, I ran my first blog “poll” in a post titled “Be My Editor.”Â I proposed six story ideas that I should write and asked you to vote for one.Â Â The aim was to prove that I was a professional and could write an article “on time.”Â The winning choice was for me to go onÂ a tour of the L. Ron Hubbard Museum at the Scientology Center in Hollywood.Â Â A few days later, my father passed away.Â Â I completely forgot about this post and never wrote the piece — and it was almost two years ago!
#2 –Â On January 14, 2007, Tamarika “won” a date with me by bidding for charity.Â She paid more money than I ever would for a date with myself.Â I made all these promises to her to show her a good time, even if it meant flying to Philadelphia.Â And so far, zilch.Â I haven’t even offered her any phone sex.
#3Â — On April 25, 2007, I promised the first reader who buys Crazy Aunt Purl’s upcoming book a special gift — a washcloth “handknit” by ME!Â Â I wasn’t really that interested in learning to knit.Â The realÂ aim was to win favor with Crazy Aunt Purl andÂ get to see her in her self-crocheted knickers.Â The winner of this contest was Psychomom.Â But after the contest, did I ever knit that washcloth?Â Have I even taken a step to LEARN how to make a washcloth?Â You can guess the answers.
#4Â — On June 28, 2007, I ran a contest where I asked my readers to guess my height and weight.Â The winner was promised a â€œLive Blog Ass-Kissing Link/Shoutoutâ€ at my blog reading at LA Bloggers Live!Â The winner was Wendy from “Quiet About a Lot of Things.”Â After my reading, I finally kept one of my promises.Â I told the audience members to check out one of my favorite bloggers, Wendy from Quiet About a Lot of Things at quietaboutalotofthings.com.Â I was very happy to see a few people jotting down her address.Â Today, I went to Wendy’s site and the first thing I noticed is that the address I gave was wrong!Â It isÂ quietaboutalotofthings.blogspot.com!
I suck.Â Like most men who make promises to women.Â Â Tamar, Psychomom, Wendy — I’ll make it up to you the way I always make it up to the women in my life — in the bedroom.
For now, here are some flowers.