Sophia and I went to a party in Malibu, where we met this woman who was telling us how her husband had just bought his seventh car. Sophia asked if he traded in his car every year, thinking that he was on his seventh car since moving to Los Angeles. No — this was his SEVENTH CAR. I felt a little uncomfortable the rest of the night as they talked about real estate and their trip to Norway. You didn’t have to be a psychic to know that the four of us probably wouldn’t be hanging out too much together, simply because of the differences in wealth.
We’re not poor, but we’re not rich, and for some reason, I’ve always noticed that it is difficult to hang out in social circles where others are very richer or poorer than you, just because your lifestyles tend to be different. This is something none of us dare talk about — that money can separate us more than color or religion or age.
Yesterday, I made fun of the categories that the blogosphere puts us in — mommybloggers, etc. But if all the mommybloggers met in a room together, they would less separate into groups of color or age than groups based on income, where the wealthy group would chat about the hippest new stroller and getting their child into the “right” pre-school while the middle-class group would complain about health care.
That’s just life.
I don’t begrudge the guy from Malibu for having his seven cars. It’s actually pretty cool, and I’m sure he worked hard to get where he is. Even though I felt a little insecure talking with him, I can’t say that he was “better” than me. After all, I run a successful blog and he doesn’t. Still, it made me sad to think that our friendship had barriers to it based on money. Growing up, I understood the importance of money in enjoying life, but I never quite realized how much of a role it has in determining your social interactions. Is this just a Los Angeles/New York thing?
As I read your blogs, I notice that some of you go on exotic vacations seemingly every week. Some of you are working two jobs, although I suspect most bloggers are doing well enough to waste their time… uh, blogging.. I find it all interesting. I love that ONLINE there is freedom to walk in different social circles. I’m hoping that race, religion, etc. is never a factor in online friendship.
But, let’s be honest, do you think differences in MONEY would hinder many of us from becoming friends in real life?
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I have a friend w/ 7 cars…and he is a car fanatic…so yes it seems a bit much, but he loves cars (he even races them)…so it isn’t a big deal. The thing that I find is that we talk about so many other things…money is just not a big topic. When I first met him I was unemployed and very poor…now I’m not…but our friendship has never changed. Don’t know for everyone, but for me it is more about intelligence and the ability to have a good conversation about many topics!
My mother is always saying she wants to be rich. She lives in Omaha and grew up in a working class neighborhood in South Philly. I worked for incredibly rich people when I was young (worth $60m and up) and I kept telling her it didn’t seem to make them any happier. Hey, just like that old adage says! But I have noticed that money, and influence, do seem to separate people. We send our kids to a Catholic school and there are separations along two lines, money and culture (Korean, American, Japanese). We hang out with those people who have the same concerns as we do, paying for schooling, saving up for newish cars, etc. Let’s face it, you end up talking and feeling most comfortable with people who are most like you, and that may go, too, for people who grew up rich or middle class. Don’t forget that even among the rich there’s Old Money and New Money. And Old Money sees those New Money people as upstarts. I do think you have a great point here, that in the blogosphere it’s a little money blind. But I wouldn’t be surprised if your favorite blogs turned out to be by people in the same economic class as you.
I had to add my 2 cents, I have a lot of incredibly wealthy friends. While my family is comfortable, my friends are in the extreme wealthy range. That doesn’t stop us from being friends. I think when it comes down to it, it depends on the person rather than their money, and what kind of importance they attach to it. If they love their money they could get all high and mighty, and if they’re practical about it, they make great down to earth friends whose fabulous beach houses you can vacation at
You all are way to judgemental about owning 7 cars! Maybe we wouldn’t get along in real life because of those types of misconceptions.
When I first met my future husband I made the same mistake and thought he was bragging about his wealth, since he was had 3 cars, but soon I realized that working on cars was just his passion, and none of them were expensive cars. He collects cars like I collect plants. So now he still owns several old Volvos and BMWs, which he calls “turbo bricks” but that makes him an interesting person to me and not a materialistic person.
My husband loves to hang out with his blue collar buddy and work on cars.
I think social class discrimination is replacing racism to some extent. Calling people “white trash” or “ghetto” or “rich snob” is now becoming the most common hurtful stereotype.
Nelumbo, the main reason we wouldn’t get along in real life is I don’t want your new baby spitting up on me.
this makes me laugh because whenever I go back home to L.A., I am shocked by the kinds of cars and well, everything is just so different than in New England. Doh. Although I am “okay” in the financial dept, I own my home, I own my car, I have no debt except my mortgage, which isnt considered debt compared to most people, and I don’t have to work outside of the home (and a single mom), I am very fortunate. Yet, I am contemplating cancelling a snowboarding trip I planned to take alone next week, because I can save a few hundred bucks and buy some art supplies and stay home and watch tv and rented movies and blog, because blogging is in fact, FREE. (if you don’t include the cable internet bill of course, but that is a business write off) Wow, this was long, I forgot I was writing in the comment section, sorry!
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