the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

We Are

The New York Times hates us because we don’t fall into their “demographic.”  The Los Angeles Time doesn’t even acknowledge our existence.  We are not the mainstream.  We don’t fit into an easy niche.  We are not even the mommybloggers or the dating bloggers or the hipster mommybloggers or the “dating but hip” dating bloggers or the “literary knitting” bloggers who may or may not have bipolar disorders.  They don’t like us because they are afraid of us.  They hate us for being “different,” “eccentric” or even “freaks.” 

But we dismiss all labels.  We are who we ARE.  And we are united together by the blogosphere.  Through this electronic culture we have grown into an independent group of bloggers.  We are strong.  We laugh at your disdain and contempt.

Yes.  Finally, there is a blogging circle created especially for US.   Do you fit our description?

We are men.  We are Jewish men.  But we are not just any Jewish men.   We are Jewish men who live in Redondo Beach with their separated wives and talk to their penis from time to time and have mothers who mispronounces blog as “blodge.”  I invite all bloggers who fit this description to please join our group. 

Together we can MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Join now and remember to put our inspiring graphics and buttons on your sidebar!

Addendum:  Members of this group tend to be too lazy to actually make any graphics or buttons.

34 Comments

  1. better safe than sorry

    i hate labels. i don’t fit into any of the groups you mentioned, you won’t find any of those cute little graphics/buttons on my sidebar. maybe i’ll try and make a difference all on my own. one blog at a time.

  2. tiff

    Can I be the first to join the ladies auxiliary?

    As a WASP woman from NC I don’t fit the demographic mentioned above, but I’d be a strong supporter of your new blodge group.

  3. V-Grrrl

    I’m a cross-dressing, latke-loving, yarmulke spelling, Christmas-celebrating Redondo Beach dropout who blodges from Belgium and has NO interest in joining your group. I just wanted to make that CLEAR.

  4. BA

    I fit the Jewish man part, but then I pretty much fall out of the characteristics…sorry.

  5. Eileen Dover

    Any of you single?

  6. ACG

    Where does the “Single Jewish Men Who Do Not Live With Their Ex/SortaEx And WHo Blog” group meet? I need to hang out there.

  7. Pearl

    Maybe you types don’t design buttons or graphics, but you certainly need a motto or creed.

    And I think you can ought to give your distinct group a name; how does THE BLODGE LODGE sound?

  8. Finn

    As I do not qualify as a member, I now want to join REALLY badly.

  9. Lou P.

    If the New York Times doesn’t like someone in the Male 25-54 demographic, they have some severe problems with their targeting.

  10. Caron

    How many of the traits do I actually need to match? If I get a strap-on and a fake mustache, can I join?

  11. the Yearning Heart

    Caron: You can borrow mine. I won’t need them till the Blodge Her meeting later in the spring.

  12. Lefty

    I think they hate me because I put a flaming bag of dog crap on their doorstep.

    The Timeses are such momma’s boys.

  13. teahouseblossom

    Well, I’m not a Jewish man who lives in Redondo beach. But I feel your pain.

    And I don’t understand the living with the separated wife part. Are you separated or living together?

  14. Cover Your Mouth

    I absolutely love that your mom says “blodge”. Love it.

  15. Dave2

    This level of exclusivity is delicious! It makes me want to move to Redondo Beach, convert to Judaism, get married, get separated, talk to my penis, and use brainwashing techniques on my mother so that she mispronounces “blog”…

  16. Churlita

    I’m not much of a joiner. I’ve got my own, exclusive club going on at my internet palace. I do love fringe elements, however, so I’ll be sure to read all about yours on your blodge.

  17. Two Roads

    ACG, is it too much to ask if they have a brother that meets all the qualifications? Thanks,

  18. psychomom

    “different,” “eccentric” or even “freaks”

    Now that’s my kind of Group!

  19. Mo

    I’ll just be a groupie. Can I shake a tambourine?

  20. Bre

    Will you be the president of said group, or just supreme leader?

  21. Neil

    Bre – I would not want the responsibility of being in a leadership position. I’d rather let others do that. I just want to show up, enjoy the food, and socialize.

  22. deannie

    I am with Mo, I’m a groupie too. I can drum really well on tabletops.

  23. Erleichda!

    Can there be a branch of this group for chicks from Texas who don’t have big hair & don’t vote Republican?

  24. Edgy Mama

    I think you lost some membership with the “who talk to their penis” part.

  25. Churlita

    Maybe Neil could change it to “talk to a penis” to make it more inclusive.

  26. OldOldLady Of The Hills

    Damn….Another group I don’t fit in! Oh well….maybe I should start my own “Group” like you had to Neil…Demographics, Shmemographics—as long as you’ve got your Penis that talks…!

  27. Mist 1

    I want to join. I am willing to convert…I am wary of the surgery and hormones though. Will my new penis have to be circumcised?

  28. Jazz

    To paraphrase the immortal words of Groucho, I wouldn’t join a club that wants me as a member.

    But seeing as I’m a female, french, lapsed catholic, you don’t want me anyway.

  29. margaret

    we love you anyway

  30. sween

    Let’s do the math:

    “We are men.” Yeah, baby!

    “We are Jewish men.” No. (But I did once perform in Neil Simon’s “Star-Spangled Girl” for a whole summer, so let’s split the difference!)

    “But we are not just any Jewish men. We are Jewish men who live in Redondo Beach with their separated wives and talk to their penis from time to time and have mothers who mispronounces blog as ‘blodge.'”

    THAT’S IT. At this point I have to back out.

    “From time to time”?

    FAR TOO INFREQUENTLY.

    However, please let me know if you have a bake sale planned and I will clear my schedule.

  31. Akaky

    Neil, just to go off topic for a minute, how can you be separated from the always lovely Sophia when you are living with her? The whole aim of separation, as I understand it, is to be apart from the person you were previously living with, which doesnt seem to be the case with you two. Maybe my failure to grasp the concept of the nonseparated separation finds its roots in the whole ethnogeographic thing; I am not a separated Jewish man who lives in Redondo Beach; I am a never married Irish Catholic civil servant who lives here in our happy little burg, and whose mother not only does not mispronounce blog, she has no idea what a blog, blodge, or weblog is and probably has no desire to find out at this stage of her life. I seldom, if ever, in fact, talk to my penis, although I routinely call my pancreas vile names and my gall bladder occasionally lets me know its still there by going on strike. So I dont think I can help you make a difference; I would like to go to Redondo Beach, though, but I ascribe this odd inclination to it being winter here in New York and we are expecting snow tomorrow night and into Wednesday. I hate snow. I especially hate having to shovel the stuff out of my driveway. This is why I think I’d prefer a good monsoon rather than rain; I dont have to shovel rain out of my driveway. It gets rid of itself without any help from me; sometimes it will takes a good size chunk of my driveway with it, but that’s another story.

  32. Neil

    Akaky – I agree.

    Sween — How did you end up in Neil Simon’s WORST play?

  33. sween

    Practice.

    Lots and lots of practice.

  34. sween

    Oh — and they paid me.

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