Today is Passover. It’s one of my favorite holidays, because of the food and the re-telling of the dramatic story of the Israelites leaving Egypt. Who cares how true it is! I perfectly understand weaving a tale filled with half-truths and exaggerations. Maybe the Israelites just crossed a little river, but who’s going to see that movie OR join that religion? Let’s make it the entire RED SEA! And let’s give it some action, with the Pharoah and the Egyptians at their heels, racing to capture them.
Sadly, the Middle East is still a place of conflict and hatred. Arabs hate Israelis. Sunnis hate Shiites. Our troops are fighting in Iraq. Iran is creating nuclear weapons.
I hate to sound Pollyannish, but I think we’re all basically the same at heart. If you’re a man — I don’t care if you are from Toledo or Timbuktu — you have the same SEVEN BASIC worries as every other man.
1) Can I get a date to the prom?
2) Will my wife still look good in twenty-five years or will she look like her mother?
3) Is there any safe way to make my penis even bigger?
4) Is this the clitoris and should I ask her to make sure?
5) Why do I make such a small salary?
6) Why do the assholes from college always become the most successful ones?
7) Boxers of briefs?
We think we are different culturally, mostly out of pride or nationalism, but it isn’t true. We are all the same. And every once in a while there is a brave hero who acknowledges that.
One of these heroes is Hedieh. Hedieh lives in Iran. He wrote me this email from Iran. Af first I thought it was spam, but it is actually from Iran —
I have no idea how inconvenient this might be to write you an e-mail, but I thought it might be interesting for you to know that someone reads your blog from IRAN.
I was once browsing through weblogs trying to find one who talks about life, women, family, tough times, a bit of politics,…. And I came across your blog. I started reading, and before I know it, I had been scrolling down for hours. Anyhow, just wanted to let you know that I truly enjoy your writing, your ideas and your style.
Oh, and you are funny, really.
Cheers to you Hedieh. I knew it! Deep down in their hearts, all men enjoy corny sex jokes! In fact, wasn’t it the great Persian love poets of the Safavid era who combined both mysticism and erotic passion?
Can blogging create world peace? Hedieh, please tell you friends about some of the other blogs on my blogroll. Read them carefully. A bunch or weirdos, right? Neurotic. Horny. Confused. But dangerous? War-monging? Nah. The just want to eat hummus, have orgasms, and watch sports on big-screen TVs, just like you do! Why can’t we all get along?
May peace come about through blogging! Happy Passover!
(update — this post makes less sense now that I learned that Hedieh is a woman!)
A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Double Entendres and Croissants