I’m a bit constricted by my blog at times.  I look around and see that most of the well-known personal blogs revolve around that blogger’s day-to-day life.   I know that is obvious.  I’m just noting that these writers rarely deviate from their theme.  They use their blog as a journal or diary.  These bloggers let you into their world, warts and all, until you feel as if you know their family — and you care about them.  The best of these blogs, like Dooce, are  well-written and honest. 

I’ve never kept a diary.  It always seemed boring to me.  And I sometimes have trouble being honest.  I’m not a liar.  Well, I am.  I don’t only lie to you.  I lie to myself.  That’s why I’m in therapy.  So, in a way, my lying to you is being very honest.  Get it?

I try to write about reality.  Most everything in this blog, including my conversations with my Penis, is rooted in reality.  I find it interesting that my favorite posts are almost never YOUR favorite posts.  You seem to love when I write in an honest, diary style.   You feel as if I connected with you because I revealed some private truth.   It’s as if personal blogging is supposed to be the private become public, and dammit - he won me over with the admission that his mother washed his mouth out with soap.  It doesn’t really matter that I spent twice as long crafting something really silly.  The comedy never wins the Oscar.

Even if I were completely fact-based about my day to day life, I’m not sure I can effectively capture “me” through the details.  What actually happened today — May 1, 2008?  Sophia got a flat tire on the freeway and I came to her rescue.  I bought a new tire for her car and had a cup of coffee in Denny’s.  I arranged to meet with a producer.  I spoke to my mother.  This is all fun stuff, but most of the REALLY interesting events occurred in my head.  I got annoyed about “blog badges” and wrote my last sarcastic post.  I went on Craig’s List and wondered about apartment hunting.  I wondered how Carly from American Idol was managing.  I made a note to write a post someday about Brian Dunkleman (remember him — the comedian who co-hosted American Idol with Ryan Seacrest in season one!). I wonder if he is still pissed or if he was able to move on to a happy life.  I worried about this headache that I’ve had for three days, and tried not to become a hypochondriac, fearing it is a tumor or something horrible.

Am I  presenting a clear picture of my personality, and does it even matter?  I had an IM conversation with someone last week who seemed to be under the impression that I was some sort of Lothario having sex chats with women in every American city.  When do I have time?!   Truthfully, online sex chats would be too difficult for me because I would feel obligated, as a writer, not to be cliched.  How many unique ways are there to say, “So, are you unbuttoning your blouse now?”

Me:  “My hand is touching you…”

Her:  “Here?”

Me:  “Yes, there… but that’s not very descriptive.  Let me go on Wikipedia and look up what it is actually called in the  English language.   Also, I already used “touching you” twice already.  There must be some other way of saying that!”

Her:  “OK, enough.  I had my orgasm.  Thanks.  Bye.”

 I would feel too much literary performance anxiety to have any fun. 

I present myself as a nice Jewish boy who’s calling his mother every day, and then the next day I’m f**king four women in my bedroom.  Who am I?   I’m not sure I really know exactly who I am, so why should you?

But let me just stick to the blog — my writing.  Would be better to focus more on the reality in my life, or continue writing whatever shit comes to my mind?  The inconsistency of this blog’s tone must be very frustrating for some readers. 

I can also go the other way — not caring about you, the reader, at all.   That could be refreshing.  That would probably be the most honest approach.   I could explore different facets of my personality.  I could write a post like I was a woman.  I’d like to imagine what it would be like to give birth.  Would that be weird for you?  I’d like to be racist or nasty and say things that I don’t really believe, but not worry about your reaction. Why do I always have to write about what I believe?  It might be more fun to write about someone else’s beliefs. 

I’d like to finish a post without having to make the ending work.

I have to keep the eye on the prize, which is to express myself honestly and openly on my blog, have fun, and not take it too seriously.   I need to be grateful for all the cool people who stop by this blog, and treat everyone as worthy individuals with an innate need to express their ideas and personality.   I need to not take people for granted.   I need to comment and read your blogs as consistently as you do mine.   I need to accept the fact that I have lost touch with some bloggers, and it is OK to feel a little sad about it.  I need to be open about all blogging opportunities that I hear about, so they can be available to as many as possible.  I shouldn’t be afraid of thinking of this blog as the best blog in the world simply because I write it, just as your blog should be YOUR best blog in the world, and I should acknowledge that when I come to visit.   I need to respect other writers for the quality of their work and the openness of their spirit, whether they are writing exquisite poetry or stupid gags, both which have an important role to play in society.   I need to remember that a good blog doesn’t necessarily make them a caring person, and that an amazing individual might not be able to put down in words everything that is in his or her heart.  I need to acknowledge that the blogosphere can be as cliquish as high school, and that I should accept it, ignore it, and mock it for comic effect.   I hope that I will be made fun of by others when I am hypocritical.  I need to be wary of marketers or all types, those trying to sell me products and ideas that are more for their benefit than my own, even if there is a short-lived profit for me or my blog.   I should always weigh the benefits to myself with the effects on others.  I need to remember that modern man has ADD, and will constantly be talking about “what’s new” and “what’s hot,” forgetting that telling stories and chatting about nothing has been going on since we lived in caves, way  before the arrival of Twitter and Facebook.   I need to dig deeper than the surface and understand that despite all the talk about “branding” and “linking” and “A-listers,” the blogosphere is mostly about imperfect humans looking for affection, love, and connection in a somewhat lonely and isolating world.

Just a little update since I haven’t mentioned The Great Interview Experiment in a couple of weeks.

Can you believe that this is still going on?

I may not be as consistent as I was in the beginning, but I am still updating the two lists  — want to interview/interviewed AND completed interviews.  There are fewer interviews coming in lately, but three new interviews were just added yesterday, and at least one interview comes in every day.   Perhaps I’ll put a date on the sidebar when I update, just in case you want to know when the new interviews come in.

I hope you are still reading the interviews.   There is so much talent out there.   I’ve met so many interesting people through this “experiment.”

Thanks to every blogger for taking the time to randomly interview/be interviewed by someone else online.  To me, that shows that you have a commitment to the blogosphere as a whole, and not to an assortment of blogging cliques.   I’ll try to organize the completed list in a prettier fashion when I have the time.   Remember, I’m just doing this myself.

I haven’t kept very good records of everyone, so if you never got interviewed or didn’t get a response from your interviewee, contact me if you want a new partner.  And please email me if I never put you on the update list.

neilochka at yahoo dot com.

Ever since I was a teenager, I listened to music when I was feeling down.  Remember my obsession with ABBA a few months ago?   Sometimes, I’m in the mood for some hard rock to lift me out of the doldrums, and sometimes I just look for the most depressing song possible in order to feel MORE miserable.  Once you hit bottom, you can laugh, and start your way up the ladder again.

Do any of you have any really depressing songs that you just LOVE?  Songs about broken hearts, suicides, and cars going off the edges of mountains? 

For my money, this old song (Blue Magic’s Side Show (1974)) is one of the saddest love songs I’ve ever heard.  It also makes me think about how we post about our lives on blogs for others to read — like a sideshow.   Read the downer lyrics!  

Hurry, hurry, step right up
See the side show in town for only fifty cents

So let the sideshow begin (hurry, hurry)
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Can’t afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you cry

Fortunately, after I listened to the song a few times, it made me laugh hysterically.  Who the hell sits down and writes such a depressing song?! 

Remember to vote for me for “The Best Humor Blog” in the Blogger Awards!

I hate to make this blog ALL Interviews ALL the time, especially when I just put up such a fabulous post of passive-aggressive spam poetry, but I have been getting quite a few questions via email about the Great Interview Experiment.  I was going to just email everyone involved, but I figured just writing a post was easier.  So, let me make just one last public announcement.  Don’t think of this as a real post, but as a informational one.   (hey, it’s like my first ad!)   I’d like to keep the blog focused on the usual nonsense.   Sophia, my Talking Penis, my mother, my therapist, and the other usual blog characters are getting jealous.

That said, I hope you’re getting to read some of the interviews.   If I forget to add you to the “completed” list, just tell me.  I have a feeling that the one person getting the most out of this is … ME.  I love being introduced to new people and learning more about old friends.   I even emailed a few of you telling her how much closer I felt to you after learning more about your life.  I’ve been “blogging” with some of you for the longest time, and was always too shy to ask you about basic biographical stuff!   Now, I have someone else doing the dirty work.

If you forget who you are supposed to interview, I keep on updating the list.  I know a few of you have to drop out because of time constraints (or giving birth!).  Please email me (at neilochka at yahoo) or just contact the other two people in your interview “chain.”   If you are stuck without an interviewer or interviewee, or if they haven’t gotten back to you within a week, email me and I’ll give you new partners.  If there are some of you who would like to INTERVIEW someone, but not be interviewed yourself, please email me or comment, because we will probably need a few pitch-hitters.  Remember, I can just keep the interview process going, so you can always join up at some future time.

I hope everyone is having fun, and feeling like you are part of a community (even if it is a community of self-obsessed ego-maniacal nudniks who love themselves too much)

To join the Great Interview Experiment, sign up in the comments of the original post, not here.  Thanks.

I was writing the following to Otir in the comment section of my last post, but I think this is an issue — putting ads on the blog — that would be good to talk with my therapist next week — so I am moving my comment here so I can show her this post when she reads my blog next week at our “special” session.   I know this is a boring issue to many of you (should I put or not put advertising on the blog?) and I have kvetched about this on and off for years, so if you are a long-time reader of this blog, skip this post.  You must hate this topic already.  I know most of you have no idea why this is even an issue, but I’m sure this is not really about stupid blog ads for me, but something bigger — maybe even my uncomfortable attitude about money.  I think my father also had an odd relationship with money and success, but that’s for another post –

Again, it’s not about you and YOUR advertising.  It’s about my neurotic attitude.  In the past, several bloggers, including Leahpeah and Crazy Aunt Purl offered me advice on setting up ads, and I basically ignored them.  So, today, I figured I’ll give some of the new people coming here from the Great Interview Experiment a glimpse of the real me… and why they might want to be wary of adding Citizen of the Month to their blogroll.

I find it very difficult to change some long-held attitudes.  Sophia (if you are a new reader:  she is my separated wife who I live with here in Redondo Beach.   She is always threatening to kick me out soon again, but finds me too irresistible and sexy to actually do it)… she really gave it to me this morning, even calling me a “communist” for not wanting ads, which is a very dirty word coming from someone born in Russia.

The comment to Otir  –

Otir — Sophia had a little “discussion” with me this morning about my constant pooh-poohing of advertising, calling it immature.  “We could always use another hundred dollars to help pay for something like our over-priced health insurance.  It’s not like we’re wealthy people who would refuse money.”  She made me feel a bit ashamed for being such a stickler, like I’m a pampered baby.  

This was a Discussion with a capital D.

I should talk to my therapist about this.  I think this advertising issue reflects on other parts of my life where I fear “selling out,” — where I would rather feel good about my superiority than actually make good money for the family.

Does anyone really think less of Dooce for having ads?  Of course, adding ads to blogs undercuts the whole equality of the blogosphere in my mind.  But the box has already been open for a long time.  And who really cares?  Isn’t each of us here to grab as much as he can get for his family, so they can live the best possible life?  Maybe the whole premise of this Great Interview Experiment is a farce.  Maybe we’re not all somebodys.  If I can make more money than the next guy, I can be a “bigger” somebody!  Isn’t that how most of  people think, anyway?   There is always someone more of a somebody than me!  I shouldn’t be saying we are all somebodies.  Why create a myth?  I should be telling you that I am BETTER than you.  Then you will look towards me for advice, and maybe even pay me one day for the book I will write, giving you more advice.  I should ask people to vote for me as the Best Blogitizer!  I could promote myself and make more money on the blog.  Is that what all these Problogger websites advise us to do?  Isn’t Blogher partly about learning how to monetize your blog?  I’m wondering if other bloggers will actually LIKE me and RESPECT me MORE if I told them that I just bought a new car off of the earnings from my blog?  A hybrid, of course, just to impress the eco-babes.

Anyway, just rambling.  Just torn between two parts of my personality. 

Neil’s Penis:  I don’t see what the problem is Neilochka.  Did you forget why you started this blog?  Not for writing.  Not for money.

Neil:  Flirting with women?

Neil’s Penis:  F**k yeah!   You were also supposed to get laid by a few of them.   I’m still waiting.  What about me and my needs?  Aren’t I part of the family also, you communist pampered baby?!

Make that three parts of my personality.

How do I feel about the response to the Great Interview Experiment? 

Overwhelmed!  I had no idea there would be so many people!  I think we’re up to 200 interviews going on already, and I’m sure there will be more.  Just add your name in the comments here.

It’s sort of ironic.  Here, I wrote a post about how everyone is all equal and interesting, and I get to win all the LINKS!   Suckers!

This morning, Sophia woke me up and said, “There are 200 comments.  Now is the best time for you to put up advertising!”

“Are you nuts?”  I asked.  “I’d look like a total asshole.  Like I’d set this whole up to profit from it.”

“That’s what you are SUPPOSED to do!”

She just doesn’t understand.  I’m an idealist.  Or a wimp that needs to bring this fear up in therapy.  So far, it has been cool meeting some new bloggers and getting to know old friends better, but in reality, it is more work on my part than fun.   It reminds me of the times you have a bunch of friends over for a dinner party, and everyone is having a great time, except you — because you’re serving the little hot dog appetizers on a platter and washing the dishes.   I’m trying my best to keep everything updated.

I’m also finally feeling sympathy for bigshot blogger like Dooce.   How the hell do you read so many blogs coming your way at one time?  And how many “Heather”s and “Kathy”s are there in this world?!    Please don’t think of me as rude if I don’t come to read your interview immediately.  Besides, most of you new people, particularly the mommybloggers, will abandon me soon anyway — after they read some of my NSFW posts.  That’s why you always have to be loyal to your real blog friends, the ones who don’t leave even when they you write about shtupping your female therapist.  They’re your real friends. 

And shtupping is Yiddish.  Look it up.

Back to the Great Interview Experiment.  I’m constantly updating the lists of those who want to be interviewed/interview AND the final interviews.   If I screw up in some way, just email me.  I’m not perfect.  Remember, I’m just a guy sitting at home in my underwear.  (by the way, it’s been two years since I’ve asked – are tighty-whiteys still “out?”)  I still have my blog posts to write.  And I still need time to flirt with some of my regular blog friends on Facebook and Twitter.  And to write this brilliant screenplay that is stalled.  And  to watch American Idol with Sophia.  I’m a busy man!

I know some of your interviewers/interviewees are going to wimp out and never ask your questions, etc.   If you have been stuck with one of these lazy-ass motherf***ers, I say, give him five days to redeem himself and respond to you email, and if he doesn’t, just send me an email, and I’ll move you between a prettier pair of bloggers.  I’m also thinking of deleting any blog from the list that has no other purpose other than to sell things.  Those blogs are so boring to me, I start to fall asleep just thinking about them.  If you are one of these bloggers, please do the entire community a service and intersperse some fun stuff in between selling those humidifiers!  A blog should be interesting!

Again, if anyone has any suggestions, please tell me.  I think it is important to give a message to the Old Media that personal bloggers have a role to play in society — and culture.  Elitists will always want to make “real” published writers sound superior (rather than different) to those online, as evidenced by this snarky attack on bloggers in this week’s New York Review of Books (via Time Goes By). 

Fight the power!

Please indulge me to keep on talking about the same boring blogging stuff that I’ve been doing for the last two days.

Real life will return week.

This was V-Grrrl’s recent comment on my last post about blogging awards, blogrolls, blah blah blah.

i am nobody
who are you
are you nobody too?

I know she was riffing on the somebody vs. nobody idea that I was writing about in the post, but I’m sure a lot of us think this way. For me, the Blogosphere was supposed to erase this old school, hierarchical type of thinking. It’s the reason I started to blog. I’m not a nobody online. The minute I posted my first post, I was a “published” writer. Even if my writing sucked. Even if my audience was one crazy guy from Ohio and my mother.

Gimmicks like Blog Awards are fun because it gives people a chance to socialize with each other, but the concept is mostly for old farts. It is as meaningful as the Oscars, mostly good only for self-promotion. The really best blogs will never be nominated because you don’t even know they exist. Besides, blogging is so much bigger than that, and works on a whole different level. The fascinating part of the medium is that I can write about my talking Penis and have some guy in Iran read my blog, and soon his Penis wants to talk, too! And then, his wife, hearing the sound of love, wants to overthrow the government! And because of one blog post, the whole world is filled with freedom and love and happiness! Now that’s inspiring. I’m all for your personal blog being all about you. That’s how I view my blog. But blogging is more than your own blog. It is the thrill of the freedom of expression, and the random and unlikely connections that we make with each other. And who can forget the importance of comments? Comments alone can MAKE a post interesting.

For two years now, ever since my brief stint writing about personal bloggers on Blogebrity, I’ve been complaining about how a combination of hierarchy, elitism, advertising, and plain old human insecurity will make the internet a less interesting place, especially to be a personal blogger lost in the loudmouth world of politics, celebrities, and product placement. Of course, as the blogosphere matures and becomes fragmented and cliquish, it is a losing battle. But, like the last Spartan warrior, I keep on fighting.

Did you ever notice that whenever some expert is being interviewed on Oprah or the Today show, the person just happens to have a book coming out the following week? It’s as it wasn’t important to tell us the cure for cancer until the guy’s book comes out, and then they don’t even tell you the cure so you have to buy the book. I’ve seen some bloggers being interviewed by other bloggers. It’s usually the same as it is on TV. Those interviewed are persons deemed “worthy” of being asked important questions about the world. They have a popular blog, a project coming out, or a specific expertise. We instantly find these people even MORE interesting because someone took the time to interview them. It’s like Obama’s campaign didn’t even start until Oprah sat down to talk with him. All of a sudden, everyone went, “Wow, she finds him interesting. He MUST be interesting.” I know most of you won’t agree with me, but I think anyone who decides to write about their life online is interesting, even those who may not do the best job yet of conveying that on paper. We all should be interviewed, at least once.

Here’s how it is going to work. The first person who comments on this post, will get interviewed by me. I will read the person’s blog, then email him ten or so specific questions, hopefully more about his life (what makes them tick) than their favorite blogger (too obvious! — me). I’ll give my interviewee as much time as necessary to answer the questions, but hopefully he’ll finish it by next week. There might be a back-and-forth if the person feel uncomfortable with a question, etc. or if I want to explore a topic further. Finally, when it is all written up, I will polish the draft, send it back, and the interviewee can proudly publish the interview on their own blog.

It doesn’t end there. While I am interviewing the first commenter, he will be interviewing the second commenter. The second commenter will be interviewing the third commenter. Each person should then put their own interview on their own blog, or on the interviewer’s blog, or both (your choice!), answering the questions as openly and honestly as he chooses. Not only will this give others a new way to know you, but we will sabotage the idea of an interview only being for “somebody.” Everyone is somebody.

Update:

If you leave a comment, you’re in…

I will keep on adding to the list of interviewers/interviewees. Theoretically, the list can just keep on going perpetually… There really is no specific deadline. Just think of me as the Jewish mother who will guilt you into doing it ASAP, so as not to be rude to the next guy.

Email me with any questions or if your interviewer flakes out, so we can re-assign you.

So far –

I interview V-Grrrl
V-Grrrl interviews Finn
Finn interviews Caron
Caron interviews Jill
Jill interviews Gorillabuns
Gorillabuns interviews Sizzle
Sizzle interviews Diva
Diva interviews Penelope
Penelope interviews Lisa
Lisa interviews Wendy
Wendy interviews Punchline
Punchline interviews Marriage 101
Marriage 101 interviews Seven
Seven interviews Schmutzie
Schmutzie interviews Karen Sugarpants
Karen Sugarpants interviews Karl
Karl interviews Sarah
Sarah interviews Chantel
Chantel interviews Watkins Lady
Watkins Lady interviews LvGurl
LvGurl interviews Abigail
Abigail interviews Mrs. Mogul
Mrs. Mogul interviews Jennifer
Jennifer interviews Ampersandranch
Ampersandranch interviews Sarah Wooden
Sarah Wooden interviews Kerflop
Kerflop interviews Merrymishaps
Merry Mishaps interviews Katie
Katie interviews Palinode
Palindoe interview Not Fainthearted
Not Fainthearted interviews Ash
Ash interviews Bryna
Bryna interviews Shash
Shash interviews Whoorl
Whoorl interviews By Jane
By Jane interviews Akaky
Akaky interviews Shannon.
Shannon interviews Alison.
Alison interviews Sarcomical.
Sarcomical interviews Loralee.
Loralee interviews AscenderrisesAbove.
Ascenderrisesabove interviews Pam.
Pam interviews McKay.
McKay interviews Bre.
Bre interviews Ariel
Ariel interviews Danny
Danny interviews Arjewtino
Rosa interviews Julia
Julia interviews Bec
Bec interviews Metalia
Metalia interviews CuriosityKiller
Curiositykiller interviews Geeky Tai-Tai
Geeky Tai-Tai interviews Tatiana
Tatiana interviews Di
Di interviews August
August interviews Christine
Christine interviews ElizaF
ElizaF interviews Mitch McDad
Mitch McDad interviews Dave
Dave interviews Black Belt Mama
Black Belt Mama interviews Shelley
Shelley interviews Jane Poe
Jane Poe interviews Jurgen Nation
Jurgen Nation interviews Nat
Nat interviews Bev
Bev interviews Linsey
Linsey interviews Tex in the City
Tex in the City interviews Sassy
Sassy interviews Kristy
Kristy interviews AKA Monty
AKA Monty interviews Monigarr
Monigarr interviews Elaine
Elaine interviews Kathleen
Kathleen interviews Nate
Nate interviews Margalit
Margalit interviews Artful Kisser
Artful Kissser interviews Miriam
Miriam interviews Elisabeth
Elisabeth interviews Otir
Otir interviews Cookiebitch
Cookiebitch interviews Melanie
Melanie interviews HeyJoe
HeyJoe interviews Lara
Lara interviews Will
Will interviews Natalie
Natalie interviews Fringes
Fringes interviews Helena
Helena interviews Ali
Ali interviews Q
Q interviews Samuel
Samuel interviews Susan
Susan interviews Lexi
Lexi interviews Average Jane
Average Jane interviews Lori Madison
Lori Madison interviews Suebob
Suebob interviews Jenn
Jenn interviews Caveman
Caveman interviews Feral Mom
Feral Mom interviews Whit
Whit interviews Annika
Annika interviews DaveX
Dave X interviews Maitresse
Maitresse interviews PocketCT
PocketCt interviews Becky
Becky interviews Sarah
Sarah interviews Nadine
Nadine interviews Ingrid
Ingrid interviews Blackbird
Blackbird interviews Witchypoo
Witchypoo interviews Miguelina
Miguelina interviews She Likes Purple
She Likes Purple interviews Kirida
Kirida interviews Splendid Sustenance
Splendid Sustenance interviews Mara Collins
Mara Collins interviews Actorgirl
Actorgirl interviews Dan
Dan interviews Los Angelista
Los Angelista interviews Claire
Claire interviews Kelly
Kelly interviews Callie
Callie interviews Johnna
Johnna interviews Fabricated Goddess
Fabricated Goddess interviews Amber
Amber interviews Occidental Girl
Occidental Girl interviews Firewings
Firewings interviews Jeannette
Jeannette interviews Becca
Becca interviews JChevais
JChevais interviews Fitena
Fitena interviews Mrs. Dymund
Mrs. Dymund interviews Victoria
Victoria interviews Sparkliesunshine
Sparkliesunshine interviews EmilyR
Emily R interviews R
R interviews Little Miss Mel
Little Miss Mel interviews Cori
Cori interviews Rel
Rel interviews Rilla
Rilla interviews Commis Chef
Commis Chef interviews James
James interviews Rachael
Rachael interviews Lisa
Lisa interviews Jen Lemen
Jen Lemen interviews Danielle
Danielle interviews Kate
Kate interviews Emily
Emily interviews Miss Britt
Miss Britt interviews Kellyology
Kellyology interviews Kim
Kim interviews Andrea
Andrea interviews Absolutebananas
Absolutebananas interviews Rhi
Rhi interviews Nita
Nita interviews Jen
Jen interviews Cog
Cog interviews Leahpeah
Leahpeah interviews Kyran
Kyran interviews Ree
Ree interviews Barbetti
Barbetti interviews Laura
Laura interviews Val Cox
Val cox interviews Miss A
Miss A interview L.Bo
L.Bo interviews Evolving
Evolving interviews Daysgoby
Daysgoby interviews Poppy
Poppy interviews MJ AKA Sugarmama
MJ AKA Sugarmama interviews Cat
Cat interviews Slackmistress
Slackmistress interviews Anastasia
Anastasia interviews Kim
Kim interviews Zoe
Zoe interviews Mammaloves
Mammaloves interviews Mrs. Flinger
Mrs. Flinger interviews Banana
Banana interviews Rosa
Jenn interviews Kealan
Kealan inteviews Donna
Donna intervews Timeczar
Timeczar interviews Janie
Janie interviews Kristen
Kristen interviews Fatboyfat
Fatboyfat interviews Robin
Robin interviews GB
GB interviews Zookeeper
Zookeeper interviews Frank
Frank interviews Allycat
Allycat interviews Torrie
Torrie interviews Aimee
Aimee interviews Melizzard
Melizzard interviews Lilyrose
Lilyrose interviews Pete Dunn
Pete Dunn interviews City Girl
City Girl interviews Michelle
Michelle interviews Carolyn
Carolyn interviews Kerrianne
Kerrianne interviews Brennan
Brennan interviews Janelle
Janelle inteviews Talina
Talina inteviews Angel
Angel interview Ivymae
Ivymae interviews Tina Kubala
Tina Kubala interviews NoRegrets
NoRegrets inteviews Matthew
Matthew interviews Jake Jakob
Jake Jakob interviews Chris O’Rourke
Chris O’Rourke interviews Unreliable Narrator
Unreliable Narrator interviews Jen on the Edge
Jen on the Edge inteviews Meredith
Meredith interviews RA
RA interviews Jen
Jen interviews Sara
Sara interviews NancyPearlWannabe
NancyPearlWannabe interviews Nichole
Nichole interviews Rodger Jacobs
Rodger Jacobs interviews Egghead
Egghed interviews Dana Whitaker
Dana Whitaker interviews Louise
Loise interviews Dave Bullock
Dave Bullock interviews Amy
Amy interviews Kate
Kat interviews Robyn
Robyn interviews MP
MP interviews Lisa
Lisa interviews Jeni
Jeni interviews Julie Scott
Julie Scott interviews Emily
Emily interviews Jamie
Jamie interviews Chantelle
Chantelle interviews D
D interviews Sam L. Parity
Sam L. Parity interviews Michellevan
Michellevan interviews Ashlie
Ashlie interviews Lin
Lin interviews Luckie
Luckie interviews Savia
Savia interviews Theresa B.
Theresa B. interviews Jess
Jess interviews Turnbaby
Turnbaby interviews Chris in Oxford
Chris in Oxford interviews Courtney
Courtney interviews Leight Anne Wilkes
Leight Anne Wiles interviews Erika
Erika interviews Gunfighter
Gunfighter interviews Mitchell Blatt
Mitchell Blatt interviews Jen
Jen interviews Kristabella
Kristabella interviews Incurable Insomniac
Incurable Insomniac interviews Amy S.
Amy S. interviews Peeved Michelle
Peeved Michelle interviews Scottt Loveless
Scott Loveless inteviews Heather
Heather interviews Sarah
Sarah inteviews Momonthego
Momonthego interviews Bri
Bri interviews RLM
RLM interviews Frogdancer
Frogdancer interviews Alunfoto
Alunfoto interviews Karen Meg
Karen Meg interviews Simon
Simon interviews Tiffany
Tiffany interviews Becky
Becky interviews Alisa
Alisa interviews Lesley
Lesley interviews Val
Val interviews Baduade
Baduade interviews Heather
Heather interviews Nancy
Nancy interviews Sarah
Sarah interviews smtwngrl
smtwngrl interviews Jacob
Jacob interviews Perksofbeingme
Perksofbeingme interviews Heather
Heather interviews Kimmygoat
Kimmygoat interviews Dana
Dana interviews Lightening
Lightening interviews MPS
MPS interviews ETK
ETK interviews Distractions
Distractions interviews Mark Roberts
Mark Roberts interviews Leah
Leah interviews Wendy
Wendy interviews Mr. W
Mr. W interviews Cronopio
Cronopio interviews Tina
Tina interviews Heels
Heels interviews Stacy
Stacy interviews Laura
Laura interviews Solomon Broad
Solomon Broad interviews Desha
Desha interviews Jennifer/The Word Cellar
Jennifer/The Word Cellar interviews Laurel
Laurel interviews Sherra
Sherra interviews Vanessa
Vanessa interviews Widget
Widget interviews Nancy
Nancy interviews Katherine Reschke
Katherine Reschke interviews The Muse
The Muse interviews Angela
Angela interviews Erin
Erin interviews Clyde
Clyde interviews Kristen
Kristen interviews Pam
Pam interviews Kilroy 60
Kilroy 60 interviews Mr. W
Mr. W interviews Chad
Chad interviews Jeannette
Jeannette interviews Moooooog35
Moooooog35 interviews JennyM
JennyM interviews Sheila
Sheila interviews Sleepynita
Sleepynita interviews Mocha
Mocha interviews Fairly Odd Mother
Fairly Odd Mother interviews Going Like Sixty
Going Like Sixty interviews Becky
Becky interviews Deva
Deva interviews T.W.I.T.
T.W.I.T interviews Erin
Erin interviews Julie
Julie interviews Anno
Anno interviews Steve
Steve interviews Shannon
Shannon interviews Marge
Marge interviews Molly
Molly interviews Sue Katz
Sue Katz interviews Heather B.
Heather B. interviews…
Heather B. interviews Imaginary Binky
Imaginary Binky interviews Rachel
Rachel interviews Scott
Scott interviews Expat Jane
ExpatJane interviews Dan-E
Dan-E interviews Robbi
Robbi interviews MissBW
MissyBW interviews JHS
JHS interviews Betty C.
Betty C. interviews Karen
Karen interviews Squeaky Wheel
Squeaky Wheel interviews MsFreud
MsFreud interviews Lara
Lara interviews Tricia
Tricia interviews Sarah
Sarah interviews Melina
Melina interviews Maggie
Maggie interviews Ragtop Day
Ragtop Day interviews Erica
Erica interviews Trish
Trish interviews Toni
Toni interviews Debra
Debra interview Headbang8
Headbang8 interviews LizR
LizR interviews Toni
Toni interviews Mountainmama
Mountainmama interviews Jen of A2EatWrite
Jen of A2EatWrite interviews Melissa
Melissa interviews Krissi
Krissi interviews Jenny
Jenny interviews Painting Chef
Painting Chef interviews Brandon
Brandon interviews HRH
HRH interviews Boaz
Boaz interviews Eric Cheek
Eric Cheek interviews Pinky
Pinky interviews Snedapants
Snedapants interviews N. Francesca
N. Franchesca interviews Catheroo
Catheroo interviews Jimbo
Jimbo interviews Matt
Matt interviews Kelly
Kelly interviews Krissi
Krissi interviews Chickbug
Chickbug interviews Claire
Claire interviews Alejna
Alejna interviews Jane
Jane interviews Judy C
Judy C interviews Jessica
Jessica interviews Shai
Shai interviews Jayme
Jayme interviews Sarah
Sarah interviews Hamster Grrl
Hamster Grrl interviews Dingo
Dingo interviews Elkins
Elkins interviews ZestyJenny
ZestyJenny interviews Rachel
Rachel interviews Elise
Elise interviews Odette
Odette interviews Not Jennifer Aniston
Not Jennifer Aniston interviews Wendy
Wendy interviews Chatty
Chatty interviews Kristy
Kristy interviews Kay
Kay interviews Joanna
Joanna interviews Mrs. Chili
Mrs. Chili interviews Butterfly
Butterfly interviews Carla
Carla interviews Alex
Alex interviews Atalou
Atalou interviews Jakc
Jakc interviews Z
Z interviews Rosie
Rosie interviews Brene
Brene interviews Lael Johnson
Lael Johnson interviews Lea
Lea interviews Jane
Jane interviews Krista
Krista interviews Natalie
Natalie interviews Heather
Heather interviews TamiW
TamiW interviews Sparkle…
Sparkle interviews PMJG
PMJG interview BZZZZGRRRL
BZZZZGRRRL interviews ToddP
ToddP interviews Kristen
Kristen interviews Green
Green interviews KT
KT interviews Cynthia
Cynthia interviews…

Here is a list of the completed interviews.

Technorati Tags: blogging, interviews, The Great Interview Experiment

Therapy was very emotional this week.  I didn’t cry, but I almost did. We weren’t even talking about anything significant.  I was explaining to her about some writing project.  I was having some trouble with the plot. It was difficult to concentrate in the therapist’s office.  She was wearing a pretty dress, and she had sexy legs, and I felt almost too comfortable sitting calmly with a centered human being who was listening to me and was saying that it was OK for me to feel anxious about certain things.  It all felt very intimate and spiritual, and I had quick glimpses in my mind of taking the therapist on the couch, but in a nice, loving way, to thank her for being so kind.  I know I write these sex thoughts too much on this blog, but I’m only trying to be honest here.  These were not sordid thoughts.  These were nice and innocent thoughts.

I took a breath and almost cried.

“What are you thinking?”

“I just feel emotional.”

“Emotional, in what way?”

“I can’t explain it. I feel something overwhelming, but I don’t know what it is.  But it also makes me laugh, because I’m sitting in a therapist’s office, and I’ve seen this movie so many times, and I’m stepping away from myself and watching this scene, knowing that if this was a bad movie, I would break down now and remember how my mother used to hit me with metal hangers.”

“Did something ever happen with your mother?”

I laughed.

“Nah.  Those metal hangers were precious in our house for hanging up clothes.  But I had my mother on the phone before as I was driving to the supermarket, and I said I would call her back in two minutes, and that was four hours ago.  I need to remember to call her back.”

(sorry, Mom. I’ll call you tomorrow)

QUICK CUT to new topic:

I had no intention to write about therapy.  I wanted to discuss my last post.  I read it over and it seemed too jokey.  There was a reason for posting it, which has nothing to do with Blog Awards, even though I titled it Blog Awards.  It has to do with insecurity, something we all have in differing degrees.

The seeds to the post grew from an email I received a month ago.  I never responded to it, because I wasn’t sure how to answer, but I kept the message on a notepad on my desktop, waiting for a inspirational way to reply.

Here it is.   I hope the author doesn’t mind.

Good morning! Neil!

How are you?

I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for the past year - and I was delighted that you had my link on your blogroll…. but suddenly it’s not there anymore? Is there some reason why?

I had your link a while ago… and then moved it to another category. After I realized I was replaced by other fancier blogs on your blogroll… I guess I was jealous and removed yours as well… I want to apologize for acting so juvenile. I would greatly appreciate a critique of how my blog had failed to engage you. Please be gentle.

It would be easy to chuckle at the silliness of this writer’s email, but, in all honesty, I find this person brave for sending it to me.   At first I did laugh.  A critique?  Fancier blogs?  Does this writer actually think that I have a game plan here on Citizen of the Month?

Surprisingly, the email moved me.  It makes me feel emotional, much as I did in the therapist’s office — except for the sexy legs part, of course. We’re all so insecure about so many unimportant things. I know I can be.   Maybe not so much about blogging, but certainly with other parts of my life.

I’ll try to be more thoughtful of the feelings of others.