My mother arrived in Los Angeles today, in preparation for Passover next week. After she unpacked, Sophia and I showed her all of the birthday cards that I received from other bloggers.
“You see, Mom, friendship is more important than actually making a decent living through writing.”
“Well, let’s not get carried away this…” added Sophia.
My mother opened up a cutesy hand-made card from a Canadian blogger.
“And so many women!”
“Neilochka’s very popular with female bloggers.” explained Sophia.
I beamed with pride. My mother may have once imagined me as a Jewish doctor or lawyer, but I doubt she dreamed that I would grow up to become an international sex symbol.
“You’re like that boy on TV,” she said.
“The boy in American Idol. The boy all the girls like. The Indian boy.”
“Sanjaya!” Sophia repeated, laughing.
I felt insulted by my own mother. She just nodded.
“When I saw him the first time on TV, I knew he was going to win. He has so much personality. So much more than his sister.”
“Personality!? He’s awful,” I protested.
“Oh, yeah? I bet you five cents that he wins.” offered my high-gambling mother, her recent Mah-Jongg winnings making her cocky.
For the rest of the day, my mother’s words rang in my head, making me wonder if I should have accepted that Prozac from that therapist last week.
While my mother was upstairs, I cornered Sophia in the kitchen.
“I’m not like Sanjaya. Am I?” I stuttered anxiously, acting just like a person with a dependent personality structure.
“Well, maybe your mother has a point.” said Sophia. “I think little girls like Sanjaya because he is safe and non-threatening.”
“Are you saying female bloggers think I’m safe and non-threatening?”
There was a silence heard around Redondo Beach.
“How can I be safe and non-threatening?! I’m always writing about sex… about how I want to f**k them!”
“Yeah, well… sure… you write about it. Sanjaya also wore a mohawk last night, but that doesn’t mean he knows how to be a punk rocker.”
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