My mother arrived in Los Angeles today, in preparation for Passover next week.Â Â After she unpacked, Sophia and I showed her all of the birthday cards that I received from other bloggers.
“You see, Mom, friendship is more important than actually making a decent living through writing.”Â
“Well, let’s not get carried away this…”Â added Sophia.
My mother opened up a cutesy hand-made card from a Canadian blogger.
“And so many women!”
“Neilochka’s very popular with female bloggers.” explained Sophia.
I beamed with pride.Â My mother may have once imagined me as a Jewish doctor or lawyer, but I doubt sheÂ dreamed thatÂ I would grow up to become an international sex symbol.Â
“You’re like that boy on TV,” she said.
“The boy in American Idol.Â Â The boy all the girls like.Â The Indian boy.”
“Sanjaya!” Sophia repeated, laughing.
I feltÂ insulted by my own mother.Â She just nodded.
“When I saw him the first time on TV, I knew he wasÂ going to win.Â He has so much personality.Â So much more than his sister.”
“Personality!?Â He’s awful,” I protested.
“Oh, yeah?Â I bet you five cents that he wins.” offered my high-gambling mother, her recent Mah-Jongg winnings making her cocky.
For the rest of the day, my mother’s words rang in my head, making me wonder if I should have accepted that Prozac from that therapist last week.Â
While my mother was upstairs, I cornered Sophia in the kitchen.
“I’m not like Sanjaya.Â Am I?” IÂ stuttered anxiously, acting just like a person with a dependent personality structure.
“Well, maybe your mother has a point.” said Sophia.Â Â “I think little girls like Sanjaya because he is safe and non-threatening.”
“Are you saying female bloggers think I’m safe and non-threatening?”
There was a silence heard around Redondo Beach.
“How can I be safe and non-threatening?!Â Â I’m always writing about sex… about how I want to f**k them!”
“Yeah, well… sure… you write about it.Â Â Sanjaya also wore a mohawk last night, but that doesn’t mean he knows how to be a punk rocker.”
A Year Ago On Citizen of the Month:Â The Best Teacher I Ever Had