the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

The Blogosphere’s Valentine’s Day Emergency Hotline

(photo by sudergal, on flickr)

The Valentine’s Day Emergency Hotline at mister_valentinesday (Yahoo IM)

Are you alone on Valentine’s Day? Is the only Valentine’s Day Card you received the one from the supermarket with a discount coupon for Dannon Yogurt? Did you lie to your fraternity brothers, saying you’re not going out on Valentine’s Day because you just HAVE to watch “American Idol” live? Did your husband forget to buy you one of those cutesy stuffed bears from CVS Pharmacy that plays “Love Me Do” when you press his tummy? Did you just find out that your girlfriend is having an affair with her Pilates instructor and you’re going to your pre-paid Valentine’s Day dinner at some fancy restaurant with your mother? Did your father never say “I Love You” enough when you were a child? Have you been going to therapy for more than fifteen years because of “commitment issues?” Are you a perv who just can’t get enough loving? Do you sometimes wish you had two wives, one blond and one brunette? Would you leave your husband for George Clooney… in a New York minute? Do you believe that what the world needs now is love, love, love?

It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship, married, divorced, whatever — you still can yearn for more love. Can anyone have too much love? And Valentine’s Day just adds pressure to us all. You might hate it, but this supposedly romantic day is in your face for half of the month of February, like a red zit. You want to feel that certain glow, that special romantic feel you read about in books, but how? Hallmark Cards are so old-fashioned, and so corny. We live in a fast-paced world, and sometimes we require some care and tenderness NOW — WHEN WE WANT IT.

And now it is a possible… at least on Valentine’s Day. Through the combined efforts of internet technology and the generous time of regular bloggers like you, we are proud to introduce the Valentine’s Day Emergency Hotline. During February 14th, any time you are feeling the need for a little Valentine’s Day boost, just go to mister_valentinesday at Yahoo IM, and a real live Mr. Valentine and Ms. Valentine will give you some love. These are not recorded messages, like the type you would get if you tried to contact Microsoft or Verizon. These are real live people who want to make your Valentine’s Day extra special.

Feeling down because the woman at the next cubicle got a bouquet of 48 red roses, and you have NOTHING on your desk other than paperwork? Are you sad because that sexy English grad student doesn’t want to “be your valentine?” Are you just looking for a little extra romance in your life?

Go to the Valentine’s Day Emergency Hotline at mister_valentinesday (Yahoo IM) on February 14th and FEEL THE LOVE!

Special thanks to Buzzgirl, Hilly, Retropolitan, Mo, Girl and Dog, PocketCT, Teahouseblossom, Ms. Sizzle, Alissa, Atomic Bombshell, Journey to Blissville, and Jurgen Nation.

Hours of operation: Valentine’s Day — 9:00 AM EST/6:00 AM PST to 3:00 AM EST/12:00 MIDNIGHT PST

Anyone who wants to cover Europe, Asia, or any other time zones – E-mail me.


  1. Eileen Dover

    Supermarkets are giving out coupons for yogurt?

    And I didn’t get one??

    I’m really pissed off at St. Valentine now.

  2. Hilly

    Neil – anyone in the blogosphere is also welcome to join my newly defined “Self Love Valentine’s Day”…details chez Snackie.

  3. Amy K

    Does this also come with a box of chocolates?

  4. better safe than sorry

    george clooney does not do it for me.
    happy love day neil!

  5. Dionna

    I’m just really glad that leaving my s/o for Clooney has gone from a “NY minute” to, well, longer than a NY minute. I’m not sure how long it would take. To tell Clooney I’m taken.
    That is what I would do.

  6. Sophia

    Jurgen nation, you’ll have to come to LA pronto and punch Neil.. He says, “Happy ValentiMes Day, Sophiar.”

  7. treespotter

    would’ve volunteered for our timezone, but only got here late, we’ve only 4 hours left now.

    well… maybe next year.

  8. Oopsy Daisy

    I was going to say Happy Valentines Day but then I looked outside and saw the 15 inches of snow on the ground and said “F**king Hell” instead.

    Oh what the heck, “Happy ValentiMes Day, Neil and Sophiar.”

  9. Dagny

    Happy VD. I already received cards. The art teacher had my kids make cards on Monday and three made theirs for me. One even included some flowers she had picked. OK. So one of the other ones did say, “We all think that you’re not nice but today you are” inside. Huh. Must be doing my job right. I’m feeling pretty set but thanks anyway.

  10. alissa

    Happy Valentine’s Day! Spread love not STDs…

  11. Friday's Child

    That was nice of you to share this. I believe, love is the only thing you don’t get overdose with.

  12. tamarika

    Happy Valentine’s Day Neil and Sophia.

    I got a real kick out of this post. Had me laughing and smiling early this morning. I found a card on my pillow this morning that said “Kiss me.” Very sweet. Then I received the gift of beautiful snow reminding me of Buffalo and then received a great review of my book through a journal on Alternative Education and then I talked on the phone with my old friend Jan in Italy for her birthday. I tell ya! I’m having a great day full of various and wondrous gifts.

    So I won’t be needing the hot-line but anyone can e-mail me if they need a lift-up! On the other hand today would be a great time for you and Sophia to drop by for the hot date … no? It would just top it all off!

  13. Jazz

    I’m not much on V-day myself, but, Neil you rock.

  14. Roberta

    “The Valentine’s Day Emergency Hotline is a wonder, for the single and the lonely alike. Everyone should try!
    –Customer Testimonial

  15. Finn

    Happy VD! Thanks to Neil for this idea, and thanks to everyone who is volunteering.

    Anyone who needs a quick love poem (for SO or yourself), e-mail me, and I’ll hook you up.

  16. Karl

    It’s a great service you’re doing today, sir. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  17. Lisa

    Happy Valentine’s Day! I was absolutely dreading this day, even if it is a Hallmark holiday, because I am single, and as you said, it’s in your face for half a month. And then it snowed and since DC freaks out in snow (and I do, too, so I am absolutely not criticizing) my office has a snow day! Not only do I have the day to play, but I don’t have to be at the office with the deliveries of red roses and chocolates and balloons and stuffed whatevers. And that made everything so much better! Yay DC, yay snow! Happy V-Day to all!

  18. Nics

    Okay so it’s 15.38 with me over here and I’ve just been on Yahoo to say Happy Valentine’s day. Well done Neil, pat on the back, wonderful idea!

  19. ms. sizzle

    “Do you believe that what the world needs now is love, love, love?”

    yes, i do believe!

  20. Churlita

    Hey, I can’t participate unless I want to get fired, and somedays it’s really tempting, but today I think I’d rather be able to pay my bills.

    Happy Valentines Day, to everyone.

  21. Pearl

    “…you make me smile with my heart.”

    Happy valentine’s Day to you and Sophia.

    Could you do with some heavy-duty snow as a VD present? I sure have a lot to send your way!

  22. psychomom

    Happy Valentine’s Day

    Hope everyone has their Heart-on!

  23. Lefty

    Good luck to all of you who are working the phones; give ’em the love!

  24. kapgar

    It’s times like this I wish I was into IM outside of my gChat. And I just know I used Yahoo IM at some point in my life. Where is that user and password?!?!

  25. teahouseblossom

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Neil!! I’ll be online tonight at the appointed time.

  26. Pants

    I don’t feel down about the lady in the cubicle next door who just received a bouquet of 48 red roses…I’m curious as all get out, how much she paid to send those roses to herself.

  27. Atomic Bombshell

    I can hardly wait to take my turn! 🙂

  28. InterstellarLass

    What a service! How nice of you. Happy Valentines!

  29. BuzzFeed

    […]  Bloggers have come together to give you lonely hearts some hot instant messenger love. Don’t slit your wrists just yet! It’s true – no one will ever love you. But at least you can talk to someone about it. […]

  30. Ellen Bloom

    An excellent idea, Neil..the hotline.

    Gossip…I happen to KNOW that Mr. Clooney is sort of a womanizer (altho’ quite cute and funny AND an excellent actor). I wouldn’t switch for him. Who needs that kind of tsuris?

    Speaking of gossip, are you and Ms. Sophia actually celebrating V-Day together? Inquiring Minds Need to Know!

  31. Neil

    Ellen — Yes, I already bought my flowers!

    OK – it is 1:15, so like at a telethon, it is time to stand back and look how we’re doing so far.

    I would say that, as of now, it has been a moderate success, but the bulk of the day is still ahead of us.   We’ve had people come to check out the idea, but only about 25 people have actually signed on to chat.  If I did this again, I might embed the chat widget right on the page, so people who aren’t with Yahoo don’t have to sign up, make us a buddy, etc.  Those manning the “phones” have done a great job, and several people have stated that it was their best Valentine’s Day ever, which is a little depressing, but hey, we’ll take the compliment!

    Not all the reviews have been positive. The concept of “love” makes many people uncomfortable and some cannot understand how good-hearted bloggers would want to spend their time on others. But we know different.

    Here are some comments from Netscape:

    “You have got to be kidding!!!”

    “This is fun but I really don’t think an inflatable rubber blond doll is much of a “Love Object”. How much do they cost, anyway?”

    “Not sure bloggers know anything about love. Except to talk about it. :-)”


    “OMG this is just sad! “Are you a perv who just cant get enough love?” Too funny!”

    Despite the naysayers, we believe in the power of love, even from total strangers on IM.  We are STILL open for business! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  32. You can call me, Sir

    I downloaded and installed Yahoo Messenger just for this and it was so worth it. Seriously. I was totally affirmed. Then I immediately uninstalled the program because the creepy little smiley face seemed a little too happy for my taste.

  33. Ariel

    I spent most of today with my head under a great big mental pillow, oblivious to the fake jollity surrounding me. Now that Hallmark has filled up the coffers can we please get back to normal?

  34. sandra

    Do you think Dagney is extra-honored to be the Crush of the Day?

  35. Booda Baby

    I know you’re not measuring (too hard to figure out how to spell gauge + ing) your success by the number of visitors, are you? It’s a great and wonderful kinda performance piece – just the idea of being able to participate is so … connecting.

    It’s VERy cool that you don’t wait until some crisis or tragedy to marshall your resources for a little love and fun and wit and wonderful-ness. I bet that’s not a word, is it?

    And those few reviews? pft. Like with anything, it’s good to consider the source. (Since I’m older and lazier, I classify it under ‘sports.’ )

  36. Dagny

    lol Sandra. Actually I knew about the honor yesterday as I had a great deal more to say on the subject than what I posted in comments. Perhaps I will end up doing a full post.

    And yeah, it’s nice being crush of the day and all but it was even nicer receiving cards and candy from kids who regularly tell me that I’m “not nice” or “[I’m} doing too much.” Made me feel like Sally Field and all.

  37. Lady

    The generous nature and inclusiveness of your love-fest inspired me to shed my usual shunning of Valentine’s Day (too cutesy too public too much) and consider embracing the holiday myself. But going against the grain isn’t the easiest thing in the world.

    I started off, with an early spurt, and sputtered about until I ended up with this slightly twisted Valentine’s Day offering for you.

    And then nerves, embarrassment, and the ache of a sensitive tooth, made me think I should get real, and retract the offer.

    But all that grain rubbing aside, the bottom line is this. Mr./Ms. Valentine – thanks for the love!

  38. sassy

    Would this be a good moment to declare my undying love for you, Neil?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial