Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Hail the Returning Hero

Neilochka returning to Redondo Beach with all his worldly possessions.

I’ve played Texas Hold-em a few times now, and I’m surprisingly good at it.  I used to play a lot of cards with my grandmother so I feel comfortable with card games.  I also think I have a good instinct for when to bluff and when to go all in.

It’s a good instinct to have in real life as well.

Today was a good time to make a play.  I decided to move back to Redondo Beach (for now), which is a few miles south of Los Angeles proper, not far from LAX.

I never really liked the “bachelor pad” I’ve been living in since I separated from Sophia.  It’s a sublet with a dirty carpet, tiny kitchen, and unfriendly neighbors.  So, today I’m starting to move out — back to Sophia’s place. 

Don’t get too excited. 

I’m only staying here for the two months that she is gone.  We decided it is a waste of money to pay two rents (and besides, Sophia wants me to water her plants and tape “All My Children” for her).

For the future — let’s see what the cards have to say in a few weeks. 

But for now, as they like to say in my part of the town, surf’s up!

Now, here’s a gratuitous shot of women in bikinis who, if they wanted to, can easily beat the shit out of me.  (As if you really believe that I would sit out in the hot sun to watch a volleyball game on a crowded beach, even if they do include women in bikinis.  That’s why they invented TV).



A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:  Full of Emoticons


  1. You can move in with me anytime. ;P

  2. *makes comment about Neilochka being pragmatic*

  3. Good strategy! If this was a movie, you’d pretend to be sick and in need of assistance when Sophia returned. I’m just sayin’…

  4. Neil, the only way I knew it wasn’t you in that pic was because you have hair.

  5. Hope is a beautiful thing.

    Enjoy the plants. I recommend dressing them up in costumes and giving them names.

  6. One good thing about being at Sophia’s while she’s out of town – you’ll be closer to her underwear drawer now! OH, and the Dyson, too!

  7. neil, if those volleyball chicks don’t beat you up, will you let them beat the shit out of me instead? please?

  8. I think you’re playing your cards right, plus absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is a very good move – besides if you really do get lonely you can watch the girls in bikinis.

  9. Excellent plan, Neil. I loved Redondo Beach when I lived in LA for a short time. Enjoy!

  10. Yeah, but what will Sophia say when you bring the babes home from art galleries. And does Sophia have HBO?

  11. So when you win the big pot in one of those big televised Texas Hold ‘Em tournaments, you can face the camera and exclaim “Thank you, Grandma!”

  12. momentary academic

    August 17, 2006 at 7:15 pm

    *trying not to get too excited*

    Yeah, moving into Sophia’s to housesit is cool, Neil.

    *squeal with delight*

  13. Tara — who needs babes from art galleries anymore. Sophia has a big-screen TV! (HBO + Showtime)

  14. What about Cinemax? They have all those softcore porn movies on at 2 AM. Or so I’ve heard.

  15. I totally hate moving-good luck…As I was posting my most recent post about meatball cupcakes the thought crossed my mind that your silliness has become contagious!

  16. I’m partial to Redondo Beach, say hi to my dad if you see him.

  17. If Redondo Beach is a surfing hot spot, does that mean you’ll be dropping terms like “dude”/”gnarly”/”hodad”/”smerfect”?

  18. You tape AMC and you don’t live in NYC? Priceless. Love your minimalism.

  19. I love the beach. Not sure if I could ever live near it but now there’s a surfer girl in my somewhere. Mmmhmmm.

  20. That pic serves as a metaphor for separation. The net dividing or separating the opposing players (husband and wife) as Sophia tries to crush your ball(s) with an overhand spike that will render you unconscious.

    Hardly gratuitous at all. Please, sir, more naked chicks.

  21. Have a donut. Eat it on the beach.

    Don’t rearrange stuff in the kitchen or the medicine cabinet….and don’t forget to take your cholesterol medicine.

    Now that you’re her houseboy, Sophia won’t be able to stop thinking about you. You know women have a thing about houseboys….

  22. Proof that we would not have hung out when I was in SoCal for undergrad. Because I hung out with surfers. It’s all about being in the sun at the beach.

  23. I will personally kick your candy ass at Texas Hold ‘Em.

  24. oh yooohooo Neil is that REALLY you??? I Love to play hold em! oh my gosh, that gals booty looks like it’s as hard as a ROCK! better be careful Neil, stay inside with the naughty channels where it’s safer!

  25. Yay! The beach!
    And I’m sure the plants are very happy, too.

  26. Are you all in, or are you bluffing?

  27. But wouldn’t volleyball-playing women in bikinis be that much, er, “nicer” to see live and in person as opposed to on TV?

  28. I can’t help it! I’m excited!

    Nice distracting tactic, by the way, the man on surfboard, ladies in bikinis… Hee.

  29. Well, one rent for awhile is a DEFINITE plus.

  30. I’m very bad at Texas Hold ‘Em. So, I will never play poker with you.

    But rent free for two months is very good.

  31. I’m a little disturbed that you tape all your children for Sophia. First because I didn’t know you had any. But mostly because she’s allegedly the one who normally tapes them. That’s just wrong. One should always tape one’s own children.

  32. Welcome back to the beach!!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial