Citizen of the Month » What’s So Wrong With Dating Short Men?

What’s So Wrong With Dating Short Men?

You can say a lot of bad things about how men are judgmental about women, but you can’t say that a man judges a woman by her height. You’ll never see a man thinking to himself:

"Oh, wow. She just took off her clothes and is beckoning to me to come into her bedroom. She wants me to stay over and have sex with her tonight. Dammit. If only she wasn’t three inches shorter than me! Better I just go home and watch "The Real Gilligan’s Island" on my Tivo."

What is it with women and their obsession with a man’s height? I don’t think I’ve read one "dating blog" where a woman didn’t complain about one of her date’s height.

"He was too short…"

"He definitely lied about his height in his Jdate profile…"

"If I wanted a midget, I would have fucked someone in the circus…"

What’s the big deal with you women? Haven’t you ever heard the saying, "The best things come in small packages?" Why do you really need a taller man? It’s all in your head. If you need to get something from the top of the refrigerator — that’s why they invented a step stool.

I’m not exactly sure why our culture considers it "better" for the man to be taller than the woman. I looked it up on Google, thinking it may be related to our hunting and gathering days. I didn’t find anything.

And wouldn’t it better if a hunter was shorter? Who’s going to more easily hide behind that rock — Tattoo from Fantasy Island or basketball star Yao Ming?

Hollywood hasn’t help things for shorter men. Even when a male star is short (and many of them are), they need to find a love interest that’s even shorter. Every once in a while, I see a female celebrity shopping in a Beverly Hills supermarket or drinking a coffee in Starbucks. It’s shocking to see how tiny they are. I think in real life, Jennifer Aniston is like 3 feet tall!

One of my best friends from New York is a fairly short guy. He’s married now, with two beautiful children. His wife is taller than him, and she’s never complained.

In fact, when I see this picture of Gary Coleman, I think it would be great to be his height. Never again would a woman say to me, "My eyes are right here, not down there."

(You see, Sophia, I can write a sexist gag as well as the next guy! What do I win?)

NOTE: On reading it again, I don’t think it’s that good of a gag. Could someone help me out with a better line?

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Ugh, the girl on the right looks like she needs a couple of Happy Meals.

Ok, so how tall are you?

And I’m short, so everyone is tall compared to me.

Brooke, he’s 6′or 6′1″.

…and Neil, your shorter friend’s wife is always complaining about everything, so you might just not see the forest for the trees…

The last guy I dated was 5′5″, and I am 5′11″. I love shorter men. Adore them, even. It’s so sexy to walk together with his arm around my waist and my arm draped over his shoulder.

I think the happy meals are stuffed in those girls’ bras.

Yo go, Jo! (and dang, girl! YOU’RE TALL!) Personally, I don’t NEED a guy to be taller. But I don’t like extremely shorter. At least be my height: 5′6″. That shouldn’t be too hard to find. I think 5′6″ is considered short for a guy.

I’ll admit it. I feel weird dating guys shorter than me, but I have done it. I just prefer to be with men taller than me. Why is that so horrible?

I’m 5′9″ and it is damn near impossible to find a Jewish guy taller than myself who doesn’t act like an ass. At least here in LA.

Tricks they use to make male movie stars look taller:

http://tinyurl.com/d5rur

I find this all to be quite funny. When I was younger I dated a few women who were taller than me. It is all about the attitude.

I dated a tall gal for awhile. I am 5′10″ or was, I think I have shunk with age, and she was about 6′1″ at least.

Not to be toooo risque, but it all evens out when you are horizontal anyway.

Hilary’s right about tall Jewish men. The pickings are slim. I am 5′7″ and once had a relationship with a man my height, but that was the last. He was just too short. Sorry, but short men are just a huge turn off to me.

I’ve never thought about height much.
I have dated guys shorter than me (I’m 5′4″), the same height, and taller.
I was going to say I find short guys sexy, cause those are the guys I have been around recently… but thinking about it, I think plenty of tall guys are hot too. Like the time I met Penn Gilet… that man is huge! and hot hot hot!

I think there are much more important qualities to make and break a relationship on… yes everyone has preferences, but I think it is important to look at the person as a whole, not just a series of checks on a qualifing list.

Stacey,

You just never know what you are missing. Sometimes a small package can reveal a very large personality.

Even in cleveland there are some worthwhile monkeys.

Of course the whole package needs to be evaluated, but there has to be chemistry. And I have none with short men (or monkeys, Jack).

1. I think I’m genetically predisposed to love beanpoles. Or it’s nuture and has to do with my grandpa and my favorite aunt both having been beanpoles. Which still could make attraction to beanpoles genetic, since people in my family keep choosing beanpoles.

2. That said, I’m an open-minded girl, and I’ve dated one guy who is 5′5″, which felt short to my 5′4″, and one guy who was actually significantly shorter than me. Both times, the size issue was totally on their side of the situation. Both would have preferred to be with a shorter girl. Even so, I recently found myself attracted to someone significantly shorter than I, and it was his life situation and his voice that ultimately turned me off.

3. Still, I’ve found that 5′10″ is truly as low as I would prefer to go, even while remaining open-minded to cupid’s arrow of choice. I definitely DO find it EXTREMELY annoying to go on a date with a man who has lied about his height on the Internet. That’s mostly because I find that really lame and not a sign of a good character.

I’m barely five feet tall so I look up to everyone else.

This reminds me of an episode from Sex and the City, when Samantha dated a midget. She didn’t mind the height because he was good in bed, but dumped him after finding out that he shopped at the boys’ department.

I guess that’s it. Short men remind us of boys.

I wish it wasn’t the case. As a mother of two boys who will probably inherit my short genes, I worry about them getting disqualified from the dating scene because of they’re height. Good thing they’re incredibly handsome. They at least have that on their side.

But with regards to hunting and gathering skills as it relates to height, sure, the shorter guy can hide better, but the taller guy has longer arms to catch things and longer legs to run after his prey.

Men get upset when women lie about their weight on their online dating profiles — what’s so wrong with dating fat women?

Also, to be slightly pedantic, Samantha kept dating that guy for two whole weeks after she found out about the boys’ department, since he made her laugh.

This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine, being a shorter guy (5′5″). I don’t care if a girl is shorter than me or taller. I just don’t care. But they usually do. Bottom line though, it irritates, but I just ignore it. If that’s what matters to them, they’re prob not right for me anyway!

Oh, and I also make up for my lack of stature in presence. Even people who know me don’t believe I’m actually 5′5″ (or maybe 5′4 1/2″). I frequently have to make people stand right next to me to see it!

And that Coleman picture is freakin hilarious. I literally laughed out loud.

In this world of cosmetic enhancement, there’s always options. The Chinese are big on leg-lengthening surgery these days. Check it:

http://tinyurl.com/bkpth

But seriously, I guess superficial things like height make a difference to some people. If someone didn’t want to date me because I’m too short for them (I’m 5′ 9″ but apparently this “average male height is still too short for some ladies), then who needs ‘em? If they don’t like you for who you are, you’re better off without them.

Of course the whole package needs to be evaluated, but there has to be chemistry. And I have none with short men (or monkeys, Jack).

You never know what chemistry exists if you don’t give it a shot. It is similar to when people in cleveland learned that there was no reason to be scared of indoor plumbing.

Wow, this thread of comments got really long in a short span of time! Short men rule! Stacey, I don’t know what to say but I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don’t think it’s particularly nice to put men and monkeys in the same sentence, though. People are people and everyone is different. I have met tall jerks, medium jerks and short jerks. In my experience, there are an equal amount of great and bad guys of varying heights out there. Btw, I don’t know why this is, but the shorter men were ALWAYS better in the sack.

My mother is married to a short man and she is very happy. She tells her (very close) friends that a short man does not mean a short everything. In fact, she mentions this Russian tale about how when God was giving out penises, he hung them on a string, and men could only grab what they could reach. The tall men could easily reach the short ones, but the short men had could only reach the ones hanging down very low. Works for her…

Shouldn’t we be careful about using phrases like “a small package”? We might be confusing categories, or at least usurping good material for another posting.

FWIW, I’m 5′9″ and wear thick glasses, and I landed myself a six-foot California blonde. (Who da man?) Even in the sack it’s clear that there’s more of her lengthwise than there is of me. What fun. She tells me she’s always liked guys shorter than she is, at least the ones who have the gumption to come on to six foot blondes.

Hey man, there are some guys *cough*me*cough* who all they have going for them is their height. When you are a lanky, uncoordinated, and generally goofy looking dude, and you meet a who would otherwise be totally out of your league except she “really likes tall guys” that is about as good as it gets.

Well for me it’s a couple of things. I’m 5′9″ so when I wear avg heels (3″) I’m 6 feet of woman. I was also a year older and a foot taller that everyone including all the boys in my classes, for years, and they didn’t like it. I was an easy target and spent everything before college being someone’s victim/punching bag, and the shorter the guy (or girl come to think of it) the meaner they were.

Secondly I was told, in all seriousness, by a fellow whose eye level was level with my cleavage, that it was exciting to conquer a tall girl. I’m not a mountain and I know not all people think of that but I never forgot that. It’s not the kind of challenge I want to be anyways. Also every petite man that has pursued me has thought it a good idea to tell me how weird/abnormal/scary/ dominatrix they think I am and how they want me to do bad bad things to them. Some even have crush fantasies tht are just sick!

I know they say dating taller guys is about women wanting a man that can protect them and such. I sometimes think it’s a status symbol. I like guys, I really do but I have a predjudice that keeps me from seriously dating a guy very much shorter than I am. I admit I’m a heightist and I’m ashamed, but I haven’t been able to change that behaviour yet

“People are people and everyone is different. I have met tall jerks, medium jerks and short jerks.”

Jo-Anne, I was not making a value judgment. Of course jerks abound in all sizes.

I was merely stating my own personal preference…and like it or not, we all have preferences. I merely meant that I am not attracted to men my height or shorter.

I am 5ft 3 and the wife if 5ft 7 or 8 and we do fine.

Dang I thought I was taller than Tom Cruise, I’m crushed LOL

I’ved dated several of the women on the Los Angeles Sparks (WNBA) and they never had any problem with me.

have you seen “The Station Agent”? That dwarve gets a lot of action.

uh, dwarf.

Just from this comment thread, you have your answer. The tall women dug short guys, the short women dug tall guys. Opposites, we want what we don’t have.

I’m 6′4″, I fucking love it, a lot of women do as well. It’s a good thing, as I have no personality to speak of.

Oh, and the obvious answer: tall guys have big dicks.

Hey, I dig ALL guys. I don’t care if he’s shorter or taller, just as long as he is nice and treats me well. I think many women echo that sentiment.

Well, Jo-Anne, maybe many women but not most women. The height thing is BIG for women all right. I think it’s those rescue fantasies — wanting to feel like a little girl who’s being taken care of. Men who can do that in other ways besides height (money, power) can erase the unsexiness of being short. For the rest of us, even if we’re average height (which is 5′9″, not 6′1″, ladies), it’s probably best to look for shorter women. While of course keeping an eye out for those tall girls who truly don’t care about height.

The annoying thing to me is that the same woman who will jump down your throat for saying that it’s unattractive for a woman to be a fat slob who doesn’t take care of her body will then announce her preference for a guy who’s at least six inches taller than her.

At 5′10″ this has been an issue with me. I have mostly dated men much shorter than me. My fiance is 6′ and it’s great. Why? I can look up at him and it makes me feel like a delicate girl, not a towering Jolly Green Giant. To see him smiling benevolently down on me is just the greatest. ~sigh!~

I’m a 5′3″ guy. It all depends on the situation when attracting women. 1) If I get to know them in a close circle of friends then they’ll get to know the true me and overlook my height. 2) If she’s an acquaintance then it’ll just take some time for her to get to know me (much more time) and over look my height. 3) If it’s internet dating, forget it. Women see the numbers (5′3″) and run. I get creamed if it were just stats talking.

Which leads me to my next point. About internet dating, and about certain women who like taller guys: why don’t we put your measurements up on your profiles and you’ll realize just how much harder it is for short guys to attract women than someone who advertises their height as 6′2″ ? What if men started to look at waist and hip sizes to select their dates?

Pretty crazy huh? Don’t dismiss short guys. Not even really short guys. If it weren’t for a few select women out there I would have killed myself a long time ago (I mean it.)

Oh, and the obvious answer: tall guys have big dicks.

BULLSHIT!

Anonymous, shhhh. Are you trying to ruin it for all us tall guys by letting out the truth?

Now that’s what guys should list on their profile. Screw height, that’s the real info I want to know before going out.

I’m 5′6″ and I admit, I want a guy who’s at least 5′8″. I like feeling little and girly. Plus, I like heels.

However, I actually had a guy say I was too short for him to date. I guess guys do discriminate based on height, or at least this one did. He was 6′2″. I just wanted to laugh, since I dated a guy who was 6′7″ for a bit.

What I don’t understand is how some women can say they are for “equality” between the sexes, but they want much taller men.

Has anyone seen this article that said that heightism causes short men to be much more likely to commit suicide than tall guys?

http://tinyurl.com/dxrkx

“The strong inverse association between height and suicide may signify the importance of childhood exposure in the aetiology of adult mental disorder or reflect stigmatisation or discrimination encountered by short men in their adult lives.”

Guys do a similar thing regarding women’s weight. Look at any internet dating site: there are a LOT of guys don’t hesitate to say they don’t want to date any woman who’s carrying a few extra pounds.

While discriminating against a person who’s overweight is certainly nothing to be proud about, it’s really not the same as discriminating against someone for being short.

Being overweight is unappealing for anyone, male or female; I know, I’m a short guy who let myself go for a few years and it was definitely unappealing, not to mention unhealthy.

But there are a lot of short guys who’re in great shape and fairly good-looking who are still automatically excluded by many women (often by women who are shorter than they are!)

If excluding a woman because she’s overweight is wrong, then excluding a man because he’s short (or to be more accurate–not tall enough to satisfy your childlike need for a father-figure) is even more wrong.

Ben, I think you should complain to UN.

I don’t think he needs to complain to the UN, Tatyana. But heightism seems to be a serious phenomenon, and it affects many aspects of our society. Dating is just one of these aspects. There have also been studies that demonstrate employment discrimination towards short men.

Tatyana, Judy, Kelly; your responses are typical of most women when confronted with discrimination.

Most women DO NOT want to look like they discriminate. They want to be beautiful in a beautiful world and when it is proposed to them they are bigoted their mental blocks go up and they defend themselves with a smile.

Sorry ladies. I’m not smiling. And neither are half the shorter men out there. If you want us as friends at least admit the fact that part of the bigotry lies with you; and that shoving this under the carpet is not going to make the problem (short romantic partners go away).

We all “discriminate” based on how people look. They’re too short, they’re too fat, their teeth are crooked, they don’t have enough hair. It’s just that, while people have resorted to extreme measures to eliminate these “flaws,” height is one thing that is beyond our control (unless you’re Chinese, apparently). As a result, I can imagine it’s very frustrating for lots of men. But nothing changes the fact that, no matter what you look like, looks can only get you in the door. For me, at least, I know it takes a lot more than a few inches here or there to make up for someone who can’t carry a decent conversation. It’s just a preference. If we’re going to call the preference for dating tall men “heightism,” we’re going to have to start using words like, “uglyism,” “bigbootyism,” “stupidism,” etc, etc, etc

To be clear, I mean discriminate for dating purposes. Not to throw bricks at.

No. Heightism is not the same thing as “uglyism”. It’s more like racism (but nowhere near that harmful)…If you really think about it, heightism is a lot like homophobia (assuming you think people don’t have a choice in their sexuality). Gay people are discriminated against as short people are often discriminated against. The only difference is that there is a growing awareness about gay bashing, but none about height.

Saying that wage disparities and a greater suicide rate is like “the penalty for not being beautiful” is like saying that social disparities from skin color is a result of not being “traditionally” beautiful. But we both know better. It’s bigotry, it’s discrimination, and it’s wrong.

(None of my above comments directly extends to dating. People have a right to date who they want to date. A woman who refuses to date black men is NOT a racist. My comments extend to general discrimination that short men face that women/men ignore and contribute to).

Helena: it’s easy to paint everything with the word “preference”. The line between preference and discrimination exists but becomes blurred when a woman insists on her “preferences”.

It’s okay to choose but when a girl never considers / objects to the idea of going out with a shorter man WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW HIM FIRST; she discriminates. I say that in caps because women give men 30 seconds nowadays apparently for them to impress them. It is the same with black, asian, big-booties or overweight people.

Women easily cast shorter men aside for their dream beanpole date. As a result they sit at home with their easily disillusioned female friends wondering why they can’t get a date and why there are no good quality men out there.

Sound familiar? Then you should adjust your attitudes towards males esp. short males and then you might be pleasantly surprised. Maybe even fall in love.

Bruno, are you an affirmative action lawyer?
Girls don’t dig you coz you’re short - tough. You’re going thru classic Napoleon complex, pal. May be you should try his solution - compensate. Become Napoleon, you’ll have all Josephines in the world.

Ever seen all those Chinese girls - bow legs, short, no figure to speak of - and they get the best guys. You know why? They compensate.

Tough words from a tough girl. How was I being Napoleon by talking about the problem? Was I whining? No. Did I insult anybody (some of you have thin skins, Tatyana you’re one of them)? No.

Compensating (I think you probably mean be a nice guy - opposite of so-called Napoleon syndrome) is bad advice ‘cos most short guys ARE nice.

Isn’t that the hypocrisy then for short men? If you see a short guy as confident and argumentative, he’s Napoleonic. Too much of a nice guy, he’s a pussy and a pushover. Some of you ladies better start seeing in 3D; ‘cos the world is so much more greyer than that.

P.S. Short girls have all the leeway in the world when it comes to dating. I don’t know what you mean by asian girls compensating; they never have the stigma of being weak their male counterparts have. Theirs is not an image problem if you think about it.

Well, everyone reads whatever he wants into anything.

Your constant talk about discrimination - and how unfair etc - just so infantile, forgive me. What, have somebody promised you’ll be happy? You’re entitled to Pursuit of Happiness, not to Happiness Delivered to your door or money back. You can’t blame people for not liking you - you can’t force them to like you, you can only make yourself likable.
Google this sorcery machine you have for some info on Napoleon complex - it’s not about being nice or argumentative.
Compensation isn’t about “being nice vs. mean”. And I didn’t say a thing about supposed advantage of being short for girls, only of DISadvantage of having no feminine curves. But those of us with bow legs learned to redirect attention to something else.

The most popular guy in my college was 5′4″ - the funniest in any company, the kindest, athletic (weight-lifting and martials), dependable friend and most easy-going person in class. And he never bragged, too.
As to my thin skin - yes, it is and I do everything in my power to keep it such: I’m a woman.

Tatyana:

Forgive the rant; but a pursuit of happiness is nothing but a pursuit if the rest of the world thinks there is nothing you have to offer them.

Shorter guys have to work twice as hard, have a good sense of humour and infinite patience when it comes to love and money. Read the studies, ask short people (esp. men), all of them will affirm what I’ve been talking about.

1) Short men make less money than taller counterparts.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1038531.stm

2) Shorter men are less likely to marry and have children.

http://www.shortsupport.org/News/0035.html

3) Shorter men must use old-fashioned face-to-face socializing and flirting in order to overcome stigmas regarding their height. I.e. online dating will crucify them.

http://www.shortsupport.org/Research/personals.html

Now I never take studies at face value and I usually laugh at the results. But the fact that there are conceivable differences between tall and short men should be expressed and above all discussed.

Finally, I’ll provide an example then I’ll shut up about this topic. If a person is accused of being racist say, he/she gets really serious and will always say earnestly “I am not a racist”.

If you accuse a person of being biased against short people, they’ll laugh and say something like “you silly person” and laugh it off (in your face). Then usually, you brace for the hit or the short joke.

There are many special interest groups out there and have had say throughout the years as their image has been tainted. Homosexuals, the disabled, those who suffer from lung cancer caused by cigarettes (Battle with Big Tobacco). Of course these people have had their rights and lives deeply affected in their conflicts and it took much effort in having their rights recognized.

The funny thing about short men is, we have all our rights and it is much more harder to apply them. We have the ability to date but have many odds (that tall people don’t have) to overcome. We have the ability to make a lot of money but are never taken seriously in the political or business arena. In other words, we are an invisible demographic. Overweight people are considered way too loud about the subject; but shorter people are considered to be too quiet.

Think about your college friend when you say short people have to be likeable; he sounds like he was James Bond with everything he was doing. But not all short people can be that way. Most short guys are normal guys-and that’s somebody I’d like to be, accepted for being a regular guy.

Bruno, you clearly did not read my comment before you launched into a tirade towards me. Please re-read carefully. You will see that I do not even STATE a preference. In addition, you will see that I am SPECIFICALLY talking about dating, and preferences in dating. DATING IS NOT A RIGHT. Inability to get laid does not make someone disabled.

You also imply things about me that I don’t appreciate. I have never sat around complaining to my friends about how hard it is to find a good man (watching too much Sex and the City?). As for finding a date, speak for yourself. I don’t have the slightest problem. You’d make more allies and get your point across better if you made valid arguments and left out the personal attacks. Take that chip off your shoulder if you want to be accepted for a regular guy.

Carl, to compare “heightism” to gay-bashing and racial bigotry is an exaggeration, and an insult to the people who have endured the devastating effects of hate crimes. I would like to hear of a case in which a man was beaten to death or lynched for being short.

What I’m saying is that IN DATING, we all have certain things we are attracted to. We are not required to lust Equal Opportunity style. And just because someone does or doesn’t gravitate towards the tall, short, thin, brunette, blonde or bow-legged, does not make discrimination.

Helena;

I 100% agree with you. It’s a free country. It’s just too bad it’s more free for one set of people than for others.

The following articles really do define a paradigm shift that’s necessary for some women to see short men for who they really are: men with a lot of romantic potential.

http://archive.salon.com/health/sex/urge/2000/02/29/short/

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2004/11/08/short_men/

Yeah people are entitled to preferences. My point all along is saying that a man’s height has more of an effect on women than women realize.

“Carl, to compare “heightism” to gay-bashing and racial bigotry is an exaggeration, and an insult to the people who have endured the devastating effects of hate crimes. I would like to hear of a case in which a man was beaten to death or lynched for being short”

Helena,

A few things before I start:

1) I agree that calling women’s preferences “discrimination” is farcical. A woman (or man) who request a SWM 5’9”+ Athletic, etc., is not a racist because she wants a single WHITE male…nor does it make her a heightist. Now, she might be a racist or a heightist, but not because of her choice in dating.

2) Brunno never “launched a tirade” into you. He simply explained his position, calmly and succinctly. While I don’t agree with everything he said, he certainly wasn’t attacking you by pointing out that height discrimination is bigotry. I have seen the things that he’s talked about. If a short guy speaks assertively, he has a complex…if it’s a tall guy, he is a leader.

3) I am not a short guy. I am 5’10” tall. So don’t play the role of the persecuted innocent person being attacked by a troll, after I finish my post.

First of all, if you read my post, you will see that I think that racism is MUCH worse than heightism. The only similar thing between the two is that they both are based on something that is not the “fault” of the person being discriminated against, and they both are stigmatized.

However, I do think that heightism is as serious as homophobia. The gay rights movement has come a long way; but under the surface, it was a movement to allow people of the same sex to have relationships without being hassled by others. You think that’s more serious than the discrimination that many short men face in our society on a daily basis? If so, you are ignorant about heightism (which most people are). Go here, and read some of the articles: http://www.shortsupport.org.

As far as the hate crime comment goes; do you honestly think that men haven’t been attacked or killed because they were seen as an easier target because they were shorter? Short men are not a recognized group, so no one is going to keep statistics on how many are killed or attacked. But no one kept any statistics on height and suicide until one group went back to pulled the suicide records and a pattern developed.

Also, don’t forget about the employment discrimination and the wage gap. Short men (aggregately) are paid less for doing the same job as their taller counterparts. So much so, that it is comparable to the gender and race wage gap. Short guys are (on average) paid $800 per year, per inch less than a 6’0” man. Do you still think it’s a joke?

One state has anti-height discrimination laws (Michigan), and several municipalities in California also have anti-height discrimination ordinances for employment and contracts.

There is also a serious problem in regards to general respect that short men have to contend with. While women’s preferences do not equal discrimination, they do give us a sense of the social standing of short men in a given society. Some of the sexual selection of women towards tall men is biological…but a large portion is social. Therefore, a society where many women have height cut-offs (often 5’10”, and sometimes even 6’0”) demonstrates the value that that society puts on height and the stigma it attaches to short stature.

http://www.shortsupport.org/Research/personals.html contains a research study on the world-wide preference for height in women’s internet love personal ads. If you believe the study; women in France are 12% more likely to include a short man (described as 5’4” or shorter in this study) within their potential suitors than American women. And yet, French women are (on average) AN INCH TALLER than American women. (See the article, or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height). This does not mean that French women select short men more than American women; it only means that they are more willing to date them. This is a direct example of a cultural component in two societies, and it tacitly reflects the level of heightism in the United States (unless you think that only men are affected by heightism in their society).

So, ultimately, I do think that heightism is as serious as “gay bashing”. You might think it’s funny because there is little awareness about heightism in our society. But people would have laughed at the idea that a group would get together for their rights to have sex with people of their own sex….20 years ago. No one is laughing now.

Carl,

Bruno’s post contained remarks that were personal slights, and implied that I had a negative attitude towards short men, which I never indicated. This, to me, felt like a tirade. He was lashing out for things I didn’t even say. You may disagree. You’re entitled to. I also never said he had a complex, so please don’t put words in my mouth.

As far as discrimination against short people, I never laughed or mocked it.

I don’t dispute the existence of heightism. I dispute its being compared to racism or homophobia, and you don’t have to agree with me. I dispute personal attacks being used in intelligent discussions. That is all.

Last of all, please do not imply that I am playing victim here. I never have.

Helena,

We’ve posted tons of links. Let’s talk about the facts. We can talk about who offended who til we’re blue in the face. I’m just here to talk about heightism. So let’s talk. What is your opinion on the subject? Acknowledging the problem is the first step as you’re one of the few on this thread to actually do so. What would you do to combat heightism?

Thanks,

Bruno

PS: Carl, thanks for backing me up on this yeah.

Yes, you have posted tons of links, none of which I needed to prove to me that discrimination based on appearance exists. I came to comment on the subject of this post; dating, and women’s preferences for tall men vs. short men.

Although I appreciate your point of view and your frustration, I hope I don’t offend you when I say I have enough battles of my own with regard to equality to concern myself with heightism. I am a woman. I am hispanic. And I am a real girl living and working in the Shallowness capital of the world. My opinion is that people who want to discriminate against me can go ahead and do that; I strive to be an asset to my business, a blessing my man, and a credit to my gender, race, and shape. If heightism were my battle (and at five feet, it might be), I would combat it by doing the same thing I’ve done all my life: refusing to let other people dictate what I can and can’t do, and refusing to be a victim.

Good post, Helena.

But try to stay away from the idea that heightism is “discrimination based on appearance”.

That statement means nothing because racism, and every other form of bigotry, is “discrimination based on appearance”. By using that phrase, it almost sounds like you are trying to equate heightism with “uglyism” (your own word that you used to discount serious discrimination linked to a measurable variable to a preference based on an un-measurable & perceived variable).

Dating preferences for tall men vs. short men is not interesting by itself. The answer is easy there (people have the freedom of choice to like what they like). But it becomes interesting when we dig deeper to look at the heightism behind the choices. Also, I tend to think that some women like to declare their strong distaste for short men for two reasons: (1) it provides them with a safe way to express their heightism (the idea that shorter people [often male] are intrinsically inferior to taller) in a public forum, and (2) it allows them to broadcast their self-perceived high “desirability” to other females in that she would not reduce herself to associating with men who her society deems inferior.

You can see the second scenario play itself out on this very site. Some of the women who posted said that they would never dream of dating a short man, but they want us to know that their current boyfriend is over six feet tall. By doing this, they increase their self-worth (in their minds) because we live in a heightist society and they believe that they are better women because they could attract (what they perceive as) a “socially superior” boyfriend.

Helena,

Well we posted all the links and talked about the issues; we can argue about who offended who until we’re blue in the face. I came here to talk about heightism - and you acknowledged there was a problem with that; which is normally the first step in dealing with a problem.

So how would you as a person combat heightism? How would you after admitting there is a problem react if society continues to deem any shorter man you know inferior? (No, a one sentence answer won’t do here.)

Hey Carl, thanks for getting my back. Good points (all of them). I especially liked:

“Also, I tend to think that some women like to declare their strong distaste for short men for two reasons: (1) it provides them with a safe way to express their heightism (the idea that shorter people [often male] are intrinsically inferior to taller) in a public forum, and (2) it allows them to broadcast their self-perceived high “desirability” to other females in that she would not reduce herself to associating with men who her society deems inferior.”

Good analysis. I didn’t think that women would be so vain as to talk about that. I don’t know whether to feel better or worse but whatever. I guess women just want a socially superior person. That’s why the jock, the player and the popular guy always have no problems finding relationships. They have no qualities that separates them from other normal men; they just are surrounded by adoring people and women would still like to be accepted in these cases. I could be off base but I don’t care.

Good stuff, it’s cool to know bigger guys can have my back. It’s a societal problem and the more people who recognizes it the better….!

We’ve been linked to the “short support” web site. See here for more info on the topic.

http://www.shortsupport.org/Resources/Stories/index.html

I myself am 5′9″ i get called short all the time by women and not considered a worthy date, although my height its regarded as the male average in print. Is this right? i read that its from measurements taken from 21-74 year olds. Surely anybody over 50 will lose a little height to what they had at say…age 35, which brings the whole thing in to jepordy. Maybe its 5′10.5″ for a white male under 50 thesedays?

In sport, male mags and in most female personals (epecially amongst profesional women) there seems to be a very narrow cutting point of decency that demotes a wanted “superior height” to an “inferior small height” Those being 5′11″ or above as superior and 5′8″ or below as the inferior. It is so shallow that a mere 3 inches! in skeleton length can bring into question a mans chances / fate or destiny when it comes to getting approval from women and ultimately his sense of well-being in the long term.

I thought I would add a comment here to see if it can gain in popularity over “too skinny”! I have to say some guys DO worry about height in women. I’m 6′0″ tall and funny enough it’s only the tall men who have an issue with my height. I’ve never had a guy who was shorter than me complain when I pulled out the heels. They always think my height is sexy where as the tall men have found it intimidating.

Pele — You’re one tall gal. How sexy! Men are so insecure, aren’ t they?

So far the guys in this post never send me angry emails. Because I’m on their side.

But it does give me another great idea. A dating service for matching up shorter guys with anorexic woman! I even already have the slogan for the commercial: One’s too small this way and the other’s too thin that way! Let’s get together and fall in love!”

I am currently 6′1” and am dating a guy that is 5′3”. I always thought that I could never date someone so much shorter than me until I met him. I still struggle with that however all I know is that when I am with him I enjoy being with him much more than any other men I have dated. I did not want to give it up just based on that. It is funny I did not intend to like this guys but before I knew it we had just kissed!!! I was hanging out with him soley because we got along as friends never expected to being attracted to him. It is ammussing to me and has challenged me to think about appearances in a different way. It has been a difficult thing for me so I am wondering if anyone else has another other examples of dating a shorter guy?

You know, being a relatively short and skinny man, this blog is beginning to give me a complex. I’ve taken to eating a lot more potatoes and doing stretching exercises.

For the sake of tossing in my own two cents, I’ve never felt I was in a position to be terribly choosey about height, weight and other factors. If I can be assured a woman isn’t a flight risk, that’s enough for me.

My only real concern is sleeping arrangements. If she’s a large woman, I worry she may be a flayer. You know, the sort of person who thrashes about, throwing arms and legs around as they sleep or, perhaps more risky, rolls from side to side. I don’t want to get crushed or otherwise broken while I sleep.

Women are just a bunch of fucking 2 faced shallow whores who think they have it all .. im only 5″7 and I couldnt give a flying fuck if a woman was the best looking in the world if she “lowered” her standards to be with me id fuck her off in a second, any woman would be lucky to have me, mnot the other way round and if they cant see that they can get fucked cos i dont want a girlfriend ever, they just screw u over and take half ur fucking shit and leave ui up teh arse and run off with some puncy prettyboy, women are scum, all of them, fuck em all to teh sewer

Man that Tatanya is a heightist bitch.

Heather, heightism is very much like racism, sexism or homophobia… much more than you are willing to admit.

In the 2nd world war the japanese were derisively referred to as the “little gooks.”

In the Vietnam war Vietnamese women were dubbed “little brown fucking machines.”

And most short high school males get bullied and abused today.

So you want the name of someone who was killed because of their height?? How about Mathew Shepard. Besides being gay he was 5′2″.

Had he been gay and tall, someone might have called him a name… but this doubtful. Bullies, as his assailants obviously were, are usually also cowardly.

Want another one? Terry Hartz. You’ve never heard of him but he was a friend of mine who stood about 5′2.”

One night he was walking down a back alley when two thugs came upon him and kicked the life out of him.

Heightism is a form of bigotry that has to stop.

I am 5′9″ or 5′10″ in shoes and I’ve just recently started dating someone who is 5′4″. I am not a “height bigot” but I do struggle a little with the difference. I met him as a friend and after being read poetry in Greek and Latin I was completely swept away by him. We also share a wonderful bond with our humor.
My comment it, how does one erase the “height bigotry,” when it exists? I have dated other shorter men, but they were usually heavier and I could get over the height difference. This man is 90 pounds aswell as being 5′4″. However, I am the one that feels weird about being tall. Not about him being “short.” I feel overbearing and very “supermodelesk”.
I don’t know exactly where I stand with him. (no pun intended) I am not sure if a long-term relationship with a shorter man is psychologically healthy. Either I have to be the bigger person. (no pun intended) And forget about it. Or. I need to reevaluate why it is that I feel this way. My father was very very tall and towered over me as a child. However, my mother was very very short and I towered over her!
I guess if I look at my parents, they were married with almost a foot between them and were married for twenty years. However, for a woman in this society it has more of a stigma attached to it. But being the weirdo that I am, maybe I can psych myself into removing that stigma and have a relationship with a very intelligent and kindhearted college student who studies French and Greek and grant myself the chance to have a new experience with someone who is intellectually my superior, just not in height.

Hey Rachel,

Just suck it up. If you do love him, you won’t even think about the height thing after a while. If you break up with him because of what “others” think, then it will just be your loss.

But, I think that the odd feeling you get from being with a much shorter guy is simply the reflection of society on your psyche. Men who are much taller than their women don’t get that feeling (as far as I know), so I think it is just the signals that society has been giving to you from a young age.

Yeah Rachel,

If you let the world dictate your love life; you are seriously not in control of other things in your life as well. Your love life is YOURS, nobody else’s. Be proud of it and what it is to you! Not what others (probably nobody) might say…!

Best wishes……!

i dated a guy who was 3 inches shorter than me. i am 5′8″ … i didn’t like that fact that everything was SMALLER. i mean EVERYTHING. and i didn’t like looking DOWN. and when he hugged me his head landed in my boobs. at the time i wasn’t overweight either but i felt so amazonish compared to him.

I have to say one thing: hightism is as bad as racism/homophobia for the simple reason that it refers to the same double-standard practice applied to short people.
Cholo, 5′82

Amen, Cholo.

I love Mark Darcy,

What were you wearing, heels? How does someone 3 inches shorter end up 7 inches lower? I can’t imagine it. As well, in the men’s locker room EVERYTHING is not smaller on shorter guys. Take it from someone who works out everyday. There are tall guys with smaller penises and short guys that are absolutely hung. So stop perpetuating a myth, okay?

Thank you….!

Looks count a little to you know. It’s better to be 5-9 and handsome than 6-2 and freaking ugly.

it’s just down to the things men like versus the things women like. like someone said; some men dig fat chicks, some women dig short blokes or small packages or guys who dress up like cats at night. some men like to feed their fat chicks up so they get uber fat and they get dependency issues. some men like their women hairy, others like them to go through insane tortuous rituals to remove this.

always extremes and possibilities, but fundamentally, the men are meant to be the powerful ones, and the women the ones who get it. men big. women small, well at least thin anyways.

Ok I know I am late on commenting on this one but I must admit I have dated two guys shorter than me and each one of them felt a need to belittle me in some way to make them feel more like a man. It is not the height thats the issue its the personality that comes with it.. Think Napolean, Atillah the Hun, Hitler need I go on? Short men tend to have ferocious complexes. I prefer my man taller. Doesn’t mean I am not open though.

Tovah,

(I can’t believe I’m commenting on this)

You also have to keep in mind that some of that could be in your head. If a short man is assertive then you may think he has a complex about his height. But if a tall man acted the same way, you wouldn’t think anything of it.

Tovah,

Okay. Your post is wrong on so many levels. Or maybe it’s YOU that is wrong on so many levels. Here is the proof:

What if I said i dated two black girls in my life and that they were too “urban and unrefined” for me. In fact, I’m saying ALL black women are urban, unrefined and loud-mouthed and anyone considering taking one out for a date is asking for PUNISHMENT. What a lame, bigoted insulting statement right?

You made the same ignorant claim about short men and were able to do it in 30 words or less: this shows your deep-seeded hate for a group of people who really did nothing to offend you except take you out on a date. Here are your words:

“more of a man” i.e. they’re probably less one.

“belittle”

“Napoleon”

“Hitler”

HITLER???!?! Now I don’t know about your warped dating choices or the bad experiences you’ve brought upon yourself. My question is: why did you associate their height with a ferocious complex? This following quote is probably the most heightist I’ve seen in the board thus far:

“it’s not the height but the personality that comes WITH it”

My God, I guess all short people are megalomaniacs bent on overcoming their image problems; and tall(er) women are the victims of such a monstrosity!!

We’d better get a support group going for women here!! They’re the real victims, not the short men. They’re the aggressors! (Okay. That was silly and sarcastic. But my point is made).

My advice to you Tovah: GET A LIFE. A good life. One that doesn’t involve insulting a group of men (who are talented, well-meaning, intelligent and beautiful) in an hap-hazard manner.

You really should have substituted your mean words with the words I just used: talented, well-meaning, intelligent, beautiful (I sure as hell think that of black women or any woman for that matter) yet NO FEMALE on this board are willing to say that about the short men they know or are currently dating.

I am extremely disturbed about the lack of defence of short men on this board and I hope this page stays alive in order to display the heightist nature of most girls and their blatant resistance to open their eyes and change their minds. I guess to change your mind about someone is just too much work. (The sarcasm really ends here.)

Thank you.

I respect and care for all of you shorter men. I think these women who won’t date you are missing out on some great guys. But don’t you short guys ever read ANY of my other posts? Is your height all that you’re interested in? Maybe that’s the REAL reason the girls don’t want to date you — your own obession with your height. Forget about it already and maybe everyone else will, too. There are plenty of women to go around for everyone.

Bruno,
It was not meant to be taken so abruptly. I was not all that serious and as far as my statement I am not the only one who has experienced this. I have friends who have gone through. I have never felt that short men were less than a man that was their own perception. So before you go jumping all over me read between the lines, better yet ask. Damn

carl if a tall man were as “assertive” as those short men i would dump his ass to. Assertive is one thing ( i don’t have a problem with it) but belittling someone is another. Don’t get the two confused. Look Neil I am already causing controversy on your site.. Teehhee

PS Bruno, If you read to the end you would have seen that I said I am open to whatever..

Figures. It is always the black Jews causing all the problems.

And ladies, stop all this shit with the short guys. I’ve seen them in the locker room — short height does not = short where it really counts! So, do something for all of us this weekend — go out and shag someone shorter than you! You won’t regret it. (this is a public service announcement from Citizen of the Month)

Of course the black Jews are always causing problems. We are trying to infiltrate. hahaha. And how the hell did he know I was black.. Damn those links..

-Been there and done that Neil [shag a short guy that is]. it was great. That is why Bruno and Carl jumping all down my throat was nothing “short” of hilarious. at 5′7 1/2″ I always attract guys shorter than me. Yes I have had bad experiences with them but I have had bad experiences with a lot of guys. So bite me that I was bold enough to say what others were afraid to.

Tovah,

You are not a hero, so don’t try to pull that card. You are the one who compared short guys to Hitler.

Also…I’m not short.

Hey Neil,

I’m not obsessed with my height; only when I go on your site haha! I know you’re uncomfortable with the idea of the direction of this page and I know things should never be taken literally here of course (Thank you Tovah for your reply) but it’s a sad sad world when there are only a few forums about this topic… You’re a pioneer Neil, you’re helping raise awareness on a topic nobody seems to want to talk about and I thank you for that…

P.S. It’s the entire media stereotype that pisses me off; not “getting girls” I do fine in that department, it’s the mis/under/false representation that exists in print, movies and magazines that reviles me. What happens when my kids end up short and I have to explain to them how to act when they get older? I hope that this kind of discrimination disappears by then…

Ok, good point.

I am not comparing short men to hitler you putz. Hitler was short. Nevermind it. You will always demonize it. Nor am I trying to be a hero. Anyhow Bruno I never knew it was such an issue until the outrage on this blog. And I never apologize but I will now because you being touchy about your height is the same as me being touchy about being a black jew (they don’t exist you know). Good luck with it.

Tovah (you “putz”),

Hitler was NOT short. He was 173cm (about 5′8″) which was average height in Germany at the time. But it speaks to the issue of heightism that you so easily believed that Hitler was a short man, when even the most cursory bit of research would have disproved that hypothesis (i.e., going to Google and typing “Hitler height”).

http://www.celebheights.com/s/Adolf-Hitler-2572.html

Carl why are we still discussing this. It is done. The horse is DEAD…

huuummm…

I must have touched a nerve.

Some women are okay with a shorter man but many are not. I think this is because those women want to feel equal to the women that are with taller men already.

When I started to date my husband, my sister said to me, “why are with him, he’s short, I thought you only like to date tall men.” When my son was born, my sister said “I sure hope he takes after our side of the family with height.” Well I have to agree with her on both accounts. I am almost 5′7 and I love tall men. I love being able to reach up to them, rather than just around them. I also want my children to be tall too. But, my husband is is just slightly taller than me to make me feel comfortable with his height. And as for my son, if the doctors are right, then I think he will be around 5′10 or 5′11. That’s not too bad for a guy.

Also, I remember a few years ago on Dateline or Primetime, they did an experiment with women and short men. And even after the women knew that this one man was a millionaire, it still didn’t matter. At 5′4, he was still too short and not really attractive to them.

Jaime,

Thanks for your comments. I’m really interested in your sister’s attitude towards short men; especially those that are close to you. I have a few questions for you:

Didn’t you find her comments about your date (now your husband) slightly offensive…? What about those about your newborn son (wishing he wouldn’t end up smaller than average)?

I find it funny how no one realizes the obstacles short men face, even if they are related to these men. What happens if your son does become smaller than 5′5″? Not that I want that to happen but do you believe he would be treated differently in the world then? What do you think your son’s prospects in dating would be in this case? How would you help him feel confident?

In situations such as this it is obvious that heightism exists. On one hand people believe short men have no more problems that average people do; on the other they hope to Jesus they or anyone they know (husband, son etc) never becomes a short man.

This sort of bigotry has got to be flushed into the open and addressed; a refusal to deal with this problem only escalates the dehumanization of those close to and smaller than us.

I believe your sister meant well with her comments however. Family members tend not to censor themselves around each other. Mine included.

Actually guys, Napoleon was average height for his country and time period. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies.

This too funny…I’m 5′4, make 90k a year, was an intelligence officer in the Army and I’m married to a very pretty woman. I have dated taller women than me and one thing that have heard is that they like the way I carry myself. Maybe it has to do with the way people see themselves.

“Actually guys, Napoleon was average height for his country and time period. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies.”

That’s right. But the pop psychology idea of the napoleon syndrome remains. I’ve also heard it called a “short-man-syndrome”. Basically it just means that tall guys who are aggressive are leaders, and short guys who are aggressive have a “syndrome” in which they must be compensating for their stature.

“This too funny…I’m 5′4, make 90k a year, was an intelligence officer in the Army and I’m married to a very pretty woman….Maybe it has to do with the way people see themselves.”

That’s all true, no doubt. But are you saying that heightism doesn’t exists, or are you just saying that it can be overcome?

[...] I am talking to you, SHORT MEN. [...]

they are still posting my g-d neil. You are a controversy aren’t you?

I’ve never cared about the height of a man, of course I’m only 5′2. The guys have always been taller than me. My hub is 6ft, so there’s quite the difference there. I can’t imagine I would care if he was the same height as me.

Wow Neilochka, you just really pick the hot topics dontcha…

I dated short fellers almost exclusively in my 20s and found that i loved them every bit as much as any taller feller. In fact, I would say the short guys i dated were MORE secure than the tall dudes because they had to be ok with themselves, so they were more secure, more grounded and had 10 times the sense of humor and personality.

But now I am married to 6′1″ and I am 5′6″ and i like the tallness, but really, I’d still date a guy my height or within an inch…but the big differences in height, well, its not a prejudice thing so much as its a fit thing.

I agree with Jack here…

“…It is not the height thats the issue its the personality that comes with it.. Think Napolean, Atillah the Hun, Hitler need I go on? Short men tend to have ferocious complexes…”

Oh, and tall men DON’T?? LOL! Um, ever hear of Saddam Hussein? Idi Amin? Josef Stalin? Ivan the Terrible? “Need I go on…”

every one chill the fuck out. Im short and i have never had a problem with getting chicks. Its all about how you carry yourself. If your insecure about your height and worried about what other people think, than you are going to have bad lack. Most women find the very fact that a short man is comfortable with his height attractive.

I am still not sold on dating shorter men. Sometimes I think I am being selfish by not even giving some a chance. I am 6′3 and men taller than me a few a far between, and when they do come around they are usually dating some short girl, or just an ass. Most won’t even talk to me, I think they might be intimidated.
Anyways, there is a guy that I work with and he is 3 inches shorter than me, and I know he likes me, but he doesn’t know I know, so much drama, i know. We get along fantastically, flirting in our own way, usually bickering and teasing.
Is it that big of a deal for me to date someone shorter?

Kelly — If you’re 6′3″, you’re pretty much cutting out 99% of the men out there if you don’t date someone shorter than you. It sounds like you have a great relationship going with this office guy. Why let three inches get in the way? In a few months, you won’t even notice it anymore as you’ll just be gazing into his eyes.

Oh Kelly date him!! I have dated men of all heights and to be honest could not care less if I am taller or if they are…come on, if you like him…who the hell cares about his height!!

Kelly, take Sara Lee’s advice! You can trust her. She’s as picky as they come.

“Oh, and tall men DON’T?? LOL! Um, ever hear of Saddam Hussein? Idi Amin? Josef Stalin? Ivan the Terrible?”

Mark:
Don’t forget Bin Laden (6′5″)

Kelly said: “I am 6′3 and men taller than me a few a far between.. Most won’t even talk to me, I think they might be intimidated.”

I’m a 6′4″ guy and when I meet women who are near my height they are typically so self-conscious of their height that they
put off these really negative vibes which sends a message of “don’t approach”. Also , many tall women assume that because I’m tall that I will automatically want to be with a tall woman. I don’t know where that assumptin came from but most tall women make that one. I like womne of all heights so I don’t know what it is tall woman expect me to immediately dump the woman I’m dating to be with them.

Treeptop, it is not that we expect any tall man to dumb whom ever they are dating, I know i am just jealous that they got someone tall. I know I am not self-concious of my height, i hardly ever think twice about it, i love being tall, it is the other people that make comments that points out that I am different and that is what puts me off and makes me feel different. The starring, the basketball questions, if i am standing behind a counter they ask if i am standing on something, getting weird looks when i wear heels. i’d be lieing if i said it didn’t bother me. People just make a big deal about it, its not like I walk around asking how short people are, starring and assume they all are gymnists. i just want to say, there is more to me, to us, than just height and it kind of makes me sad that no one seems to notice that.

I’m 5′0 male, so I know how hard it is to get a date off internet dating sites. Then I think again, maybe online personals should be avoided for short males. We all should go out more often to social events where physical stats wont mean as much as what we do best. Oh yeah, about fat women vs short men bias. Fat women can reduce their size, short men can’t increase their height. Disqualifying short men out is akin of disqualifying disabled (either physically and mentally challenged). The same condition also applies to financially challenged. Is it horrible? Yes. Do we all do it, yes. So we just have to bite the bullet and move on. Shit happens. Deal with it. Oh yeah, another way: find chicks out of USA. Vaginas also exist in other countries.

Hello, Nice comments here. I’m Dave 5′3″, well maybe closer to 5′4″. Here is my spin on the issue..True women will prefer taller men as compared to a lil squirt like me, but thats fine. I think its not the women’s true choice she is making but something influenced much more by society and how women are EXPECTED to marry a big strong man..so you really can’t blame them for that. As for my own likes and experiences, I like all women, whether chubby or skinny or shorty or tall. However, I especially like the feel of a real Tall women, thats not too skinny..they just feel better and provide a much smoother ride (devilish grin). Now I know this from experience..and boy what experinces I had.Let me explain this. I have been with well over 400 ladies..not just for coffee I mean, and not dating, but for the majority just for sex..yep S.E.X.(shhhh….). These of course were for the most part escorts or working girls of the highest calibre..not the street skanks I might add..The best times I had were with the really tall girls..good times because they were the ones most affectionate and most turned on by me. I always felt like they really enjoyed themselves the most with me, and preferred me to some tall, overweight stinky dude. I’m tiny, clean, shaved, romantic, funny, loveable and very sweet.Most girls say I’m very much on the cute side. One girl said I looked like a sweet little bunny (still trying to figure out if that is good or bad …lol). I do have girls interested in dating me, I know it because some have actually asked be out..and such. Problem is I am having so much fun with many things and too busy to be doing any long term dating stuff. So, the short guys should not worry about what the ladies say about what they prefer..picking a mate has nothing to do with a thinking brain, its all some kind of preprogrammed biological thing (sorry..there is a word for it, but forgot it now). Once she sees you as an individual, you’ll be well on your way to some romance..I think..And finally a question for all Ladies. Can your malefriend do the bouncy bounce..?

dave, 5′3″, but actually closer to 5′4″

Dave,

Those women are being paid to make you THINK that they “enjoyed themselves”. Having sex with prostitutes is nothing to brag about, buddy.

Hi all,

I am a woman of average height (5′7″) who PREFERS to date guys who are around my height or shorter than I am. I’ve never been attracted to tall guys, 5′10″ or so is my cutoff. Most of the really sexy guys I’ve been with were shorter. Of course I have a weakness for Italians…

You know, it’s funny. I always day dream about my perfect guy being maybe 5′9 or so (I’m 5′8″) but all the guys I’ve ever liked were: 5′4″, 5′2″, 5′5″, 5′7″…it’s like I can’t be attracted to men taller than me! 75% of the guys who ask me out are taller than me but I refuse to go out with them because they’re not my type…short people seem to be sweeter…it’s odd.

im 5”8” and women dig me. I was born with a fairly good lookin head. I disagree about this height topic. Ive got mates who over 6 foot and dont get nowhere near as many women as me and my best mate who is 5″9″. However, most women average a height of 5″5″. I personally dont tend to go for taller women than myself. Theres no such thing as short only if your a dwarf. People who are over 6 foot call me short. People who are over 5 foot call me good in height. I dont think im short anyway. Although i do strongly believe a man has to be at least an inch or 2 taller than the woman. So for 5″5 guy would be better off with a 5 - 5″4 woman.

IN OTHER WORDS, THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE. ONLY WOMEN WHO ARE ACTUALLY TALL CALL MEN SHORT. THANKYOU AND GOODNITE.

PETIT CHIX FOR LIFE BTW

One woman I work with is 5 foot 2, and her current boyfriend is 6 foot 2.

She said that ONCE she dated a guy who was 5 foot 9. She said he was handsome, funny, and had a great personality. But - she dumped him because he was too short.

That would be okay if she was unusual, but I have found that most women act in exactly the same way. If a woman’s boyfriend is under six feet tall, then she will inevitably dump him for a six footer.

I read this statement with some humor. Short girls like her will grow older and get fat and then end up looking like bowling balls. I recently looked at the online dating for women between 45-55 and I was appalled how some of these women who have “extra padding” as they like to call it, were still demanding men 6′ and above. I wanted to laugh my ass off because these some of these women are now fat hogs and certaintly don’t have much room to be picky. Apparently they’re still living their youth thinking guys will flock to their profile.

Incidently, only 13% of the population is 6′ and over so these idiot women have elminated 87% of the male population. Think how many Doctors, surgeons, lawyers, and successful business men they’ve eliminated because of one physical trait.

Please don’t tell me men are shallow. It’s obvious women are more shallow then men when it comes to physical appearance.

Dugan is right,

There are lots of women who are over the hill but think that they will only date 6′0″ guys. They don’t understand that they make up only 13% of the population.

Also, have you noticed that all short women say that they usually only date men who are 6′0″ or taller? I think they don’t really understand height at all. There aren’t that many tall guys in existance, so I think they are really dating guys who are 5′10 or so…and then they THINK those guys are 6′0″ tall.

But yes…women are more shallow than men. Men are flexable about anything. Women are flexable about most things…except height. I can’t think of one physical characteristic that would eliminate women from consideration. Not even weight. I see fat women with thinner men all the time. But it’s rare to see a couple where the woman is taller than the man.

first off i wanna say any guy who’s 5′8” or more doesn’t have any say in this…we have to remember that it’s not just short or tall…there’s average too and girls are ok with average…anyway..with that said..

I’m 5′6” and i have been “the short guy” all my life…here’s the thing with being a short male as i see it..first of all it’s not comparable to weight for women…i believe someone already mentioned this but weight can be treated…even if it is to some degree….no..not everyone is qualified for a liposuction…but the physics of it is that weight burns off…height doesn’t increase…at least we don’t have the technology yet…and someone mentioned limb surgery…not practical…those are usually reconstructive surgeries for people in accidents or people who are born with one leg shorter than the other or those who suffer from dwarfism…very risky and costly surgery with high risks of side effects…short guys…stop whining and thank whomever and whatever put you here that you are healthy and not disabled…a guy who’s 5′0” tall isn’t disabled…in reality there really isn’t much a 6′5” guy can do that a 5′0” guy can’t…other than a few things…sure a 5′0” could never be a pro basketball player…but again the 6′5” guy could never be an astronaut (they have to be 5′9” or less)…try to look at the positive…honestly life is way to short to waste over bullshit like this…there are people with REAL physical problems that restricts them from many activities that we take for granted and don’t even think about…like walking for example!

As for women who do or don’t go out with us because of our height…that’s their decision and it is none of our business…after all who the hell am I to judge?…i would never go out with an overweight chick…or a girl with a big nose or ugly smile….so I can’t judge….the one problem I guess that short guys have is that there really isn’t much you can do with height…the teeth you can fix…the nose you can fix…the weight can be helped…but height is pretty much set…but with that being the case…WHO CARES?!…there is so much more to life….some people just look for reasons to obsess over…girls with their weight and looks and guys with their height and dick size…people…I’m not saying those AREN’T factors…but life certainly goes on and goes on well regardless of what those are…as I see it for some men AND women in here the only thing that needs to be fixed is their mind set….Humans are not really physically exceptional living things…there are many animals that are bigger, faster, stronger, and so forth than us…what sets us apart is our mind…lets improve that…please…I know that some women judge me based on my height…but I judge them based on their looks…so what?…it goes back and forth….same with personality….people judge you on your personality too…and believe me…changing your personality isn’t easy or always possible…just because it’s possible to some degree in theory, doesn’t mean it is…basically I’m trying to say everyone judges and no one is completely free of this “sin of judging”…and as for jobs….again…some employers care…some don’t….i’m the shortest of all my friends but I have the best and highest paying job…

And as for the complex…again…who cares what people “title” your assertive attitude….let them call you napoleon…no skin of your back…the fact is most of those people couldn’t be assertive on the simplest subjects if their life depended on it…look at your shortness as a reason to strive and better yourself…cause who wants to be average anyway?…being average is boring…

Anywho I wrote too much…go out there and get em tigers! hahaha

Cheers!

Hmm… Interesting comments, all around.
As a member of the oompa loompa club for men (5′5″), I must admit to being somewhat inconvenienced by most women’s preference for tall men. Still, I can respect that women have certain preferences in the romantic department. That’s perfectly natural.
That said… I would give some free advice to the younger female readers: marry soon and marry well. Mother Nature has a sense of irony after all. As it turns out, men also have certain dating preferences. Generally, we prefer to date youthful women who don’t have kids from a previous marriage. Yes, I know there are some exceptions, but they are just that, exceptions. So… to single ageing women in their forties onward, I will pass along the advice I was given as a young man: quit whining and just deal with it. Life is what it is. If we short guys have to deal with preferences for our entire lives, then women (some of you, anyway) can do the same for the last half of yours. So, what’s sauce for the gander… or something like that. Anyway, that’s my rant for the day…Nuff Said.

Women are crap, but for your Mom and the one’s that you and you alone truly care about, i.e., not all of them.

There are so many advantages to living a clean, straight, HEALTHY life, WITHOUT women.

height really shouldn’t be such an issue. if you’re a short guy, look for some one who doesn’t care what your height is. it’s that simple. sure, finding that some can be difficult, but guess what? finding that “someone” isn’t easy for anyone. first step is to get over you insecurity (sp). girls like confidence, and if you are, then you shouldn’t give two shits about a girl blowing you off b/c you’re too short. get over it, and stop bitching…

I’m 48 years old and I stand 5′9″ and until the inception of the internet, I never realized heightism even existed or I was considered by some to be short. Reality slapped me in the face one day when I was perusing through the personal ads and noticed how many women insisted their match be 5′10″ or taller. It floored me. I never gave it much thought but then it gave me an opportunity to reflect and realize heightism really is a national phenomenon. I looked at our current management of my company and noticed the majority are white males 5′10″ and above. I looked at the hand-picked CEO and he stands at least 6′2″. Then I remember some of the rude comments I received from a select few women (very select). I remember one calling me “little man” in a derogatory way years ago. I remember a fellow short lady (and a bit overweight too I may add) bubbling about here husband because he was tall and over 6′. She didn’t want to date any short men a made this a point in her conversation. It’s was almost like he was some prize trophy even though he was a hick working on the production line. Apparently tall was more important than dark, handsome and definitely intelligent and sucessful.

What’s weird is, when I go to reunions, ball games, or other social events, I’m definetly not the shortest person and blend in quite well so I’m not sure what the deal is with women and height.
Realizing that men 6′ and above comprise only 14% of the population (with the majority being young blokes I may add), they’re all sure fighting over a small fraction of the population. I have a married friend who stands 6′2″ and he peruses the personnal ads just to score a quick lay so he can put a notch on his belt. I wonder how many other tall guys play the ads the same way knowing they’re in demand over shorter men who probably would be 100% committed to their women. I guess image is more important than anything else and getting used is part of the game.

I hope when my son gets older, heightism will be addressed like racism, sexism and other discrimination. As of today, it’s getting some air time but all in all, it’s being ignored. It won’t change until more States ratify the equal rights amendment to include looks and height.

hi everyone i just happened to come across this forum n found it interesting,i m just 5.6 n till i joined med school life was good,this concept of heightism never existed in my mind,buut ever since med school started interaction with the opposite sex became hellish,they would pass comments hitting at my height n linking statements i was less capable than a taller guy in achieving anything let alone a date,from then on i have noticed that the taller guys were the first ones to get hitched n till now the shorter dudes r still out there tryin to make a friend who wont put them down because of their height,i have no qualms if a gal doesnt ‘prefer’ a shorter guy,to each her own lol,but answer me folks ,if a fat person can atleast have an option of wight loss what option does a short guy have?surely inncreasing the tibial length is not the fix,and when girls state they like taller guys so they get to wear heels(as statedt in cosmopolitan) it sounds hurtful that a potentially pleasant group of men only just shorter r ruled out coz of a par of heels.

Michael - Our culture and the society we live in started the stigma that “tall is better” even though it has no bearing on one’s competence, intelligents or personality. It’s very frustrating when you have so much to offer but you get passed up because your a few inches closer to the ground.

BTW - Trust me - Stay away from the ditzy girls who give stupid responses to your height such as “so I can wear heels” or “it makes me feel protected”. These are insecure women with superficial criteria for dating.

Worth commenting - Look at the breakdown of how many 40 something women who are seeking a tall man in online dating. Practically all. Again, they’re all fighting over the slim 14% of the population. Let’s breakdown the 14% and see how slim it gets:

a. How many of the 14% are even in the 40 year age group? (not many as they’ve began to shrink while the younger generation is getting taller)

a. How many 40 something men are married and not available? (many)

b. How many 40 something men are married, knowing they are in demand, so they play around on the side and lying about being married? (many I’m sure)

c. How many of the 40 something men ignore those 40 something women because they’re seeking a younger 20 something hour glass babe who don’t have saggy boobs, big hips, and a big butt. (many many)

Sure makes the pickings slim doesn’t it?

bloody hell i’m 5′7 and my girlfriend is 5′4, seems fair to me. I see some kids that look 11 and are already like 6 foot 3, now thats messed up.

Wow, this is funny stuff. I am 5″3, I like dating girls that are similar in height. I don’t have to much of a problem meeting women.

im a 5′4 girl and my boyfriend is 5′8 and i think that 5′6-5′8 are fine heights for men. Not every man has to be 6′1 you know

My concern is not with the dating scene, both men and women have the right to choose who they want to be with. I’m disturbed with the treatment of “short” men in the work force. Consider the article “Why We Love Tall Men?” You’ll find it at: http://www.gladwell.com/blink/blink_excerpt2.html

As a less tall fellow, I took direct action to mitigate my height deficit. With 4″ heels, I am 5′10″, and that is tall enough.

I have friends who are about 5’5 and insist that their ‘ideal’ man has to be at least 4 inches taller. I think this is the most stupid idea, especially as I am a 6’1 girl and if I had the same narrow-minded concept I might never go out with anyone! Instead I am going out with a great 5’11 guy Don’t forget that height (and looks) change over time and that the quality that will last the longest is personality. The only thing I mind about my height is that some people seem to be intimidated by tall girls – tallness doesn’t equal scariness! People who make jokes about me towering above people are just annoying – there is nothing I (or most people) can do about height – we all just have to live with it!

I agree with Dou