the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Tag: beds

Better Late Than Never


Five months ago, Sophia was in New York working and I was lonely.  To ease my pain, many of you sent me photos of your beds.  Deannie, the writer of “Home is Where the Heart Is” told me that she wanted to send me a photo, but she didn’t have her own bed.  She promised to send me a photo once she got her condo and bought a bed.

Yesterday, I received a photo of Deannie’s bed.  Nothing impresses me more than someone who keeps a promise.

From what I gather, this is actually the wrong bed that was delivered to her home, but she decided to keep in “instead of going through all the hassle of the exchange process.”

I, for one, like the bed.  It is very antique-looking, like something you might see in an old house in Vermont.  I especially like the elaborate headboard. 

Now, as the rabbis of yore used to do, I would like to recite the tradtional blessing for a new bed:

“Deannie, may this bed bring you much joy.  May you have many a restful night as you sleep soundly in this cozy and warm bed.  May you have pleasant dreams and wake up refreshed from your nights sleeping in this wonderful new bed.  And may you have many memorable nights @%#@** against the elaborate headboard.”

Update:  Next time I am alone, I won’t be needing your bed photos, thanks to my new sheet and pillow case combo.   (thanks, Dagny!)


P.S. — I’m also doing my first “guest-blogging” stint at No Pasa Nada.   So, for one day you can call me Heather!

I Used to Be Lonely, Now I’m Not


I was down.  I was depressed.  I was lonely.  At night I would sit alone, listening to the wind.  Or watch an informercial for a product I didn’t need — with the TV sound off. 

We’ve all been there.  Some of us are there right now. 

Thank you kind bloggers who “shared their bed” with me to ease my loneliness. 

My father never spoke to me about marriage or sex, but he would always say “it is good to have someone to hold around in bed.”  (he really said that — ask Sophia!)

This week is Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year.  My New Year’s wish is that during this year, everyone I’ve met online who doesn’t have somebody should meet someone worthwhile to “hold around in bed.”



Caitlin’s bed is in New York.


Caitlin (of Caitlinator) has gone back to school, does not eat at McDonald’s, and loves her pet chicken.



Laurie’s bed is in Los Angeles. 


Laurie (of Crazy Aunt Purl) is a popular knitting blogger who has inspired me to start making my own socks.  She does not need an alarm clock to wake up in morning because her bright orange bedspread does that for her.



Dagny’s bed is in Berkeley, California.


Dagny (of Dagny’s Empire) is out dancing the night away so often that her cat spends more time on the bed than she does.



Daisy Mae’s bed is in Indianapolis, Indiana. 


Daisy Mae (of Daisy Mae was here…) is well-known for making beautiful blog templates.  She is such a talented graphic artist, that she has made a cut-out of herself to fool her children while she blogs at Starbucks.



Felicity’s bed is in New York.  


Felicity, of Zelos, is not a shy woman.  In fact, she’s thinking of taking up pole dancing.  For some reason, her bed intimidates me.



Heather’s bed is in Orange County, CA.


Heather works and takes care of her kids, and doesn’t have time to blog.   Her bed reflects her “do it all” lifestyle — a little messy, but very homey.



Laura’s bed is in Los Angeles. 


Laura is in the process of starting up her first blog.   I’m guessing there were many sleepless nights in this bedroom with the crib right next to the bed!



Lizardek’s bed is in Sweden.


Lizardek (of Lizardek’s Obiter Dictum) works, has a family, and sings in a choir.   Look at the exquisite European craftsmanship of her bed!  (and no, she didn’t get it at IKEA).



Roberta’s bed is in New Jersey. 


Roberta (of Roberta’s Voice) is the only blogger I know who is both Jewish and Wiccan.   She’s also pretty funny.  I’m still trying to decide if her bedspread looks more Jewish or Wiccan.



Sweet’s bed is in Washington D.C. 


Sweet (of Sour N Sweet) co-blogs with Sour, but her bed is all hers.    I love the relaxed, lived-in look, and the retro wood-grain wall, which reminds me of the time I slept in the basement of Rachel Kinder’s parent’s home in Merrick, Long Island.



Tara’s bed is in Iowa City, Iowa.


Tara (of Scruffylooking) is a mother and a lover of literature, and she lives in a city with a rich literary life.  Her bed has an Asian, Zen-like feel to it, a perfect place to meditate or read Dicken’s Great Expectations.



Mr. Fabulous’s bed is in Gainesville, Florida.


Mr. Fabulous (of Pointless Drivel) is a brave man.  Not only was he recently fired because of his blog, he is the only man MAN enough to send me a photo of his bed.  Why do I have the feeling that Mr. Fabulous — and not Mrs. Fabulous — bought that dark blue comforter?



The Viscountess of Funk’s bed is in Seattle.


The Viscountess (of Postcards From Somewhere) is a mother, a lawyer, and a writer of great imagination.  I also think her bed is large enough to fit my entire blogroll.



Deezee’s bed is in Venice, California.


Deezee (of Confessional Highway) is the coolest Mom ever.  She just took her son to see his first rock concert — the Red Hot Chili Peppers!  As you can see, Deezee is not afraid of showing herself in her bed, although she is clearly upstaged by her sleeping dog.




Two Roads’s bed is in Atlanta, Georgia.


Two Roads (of Lindbergh’s Crossing) is from Atlanta and has some “Scarlett O’hara” in her, which means she frankly gives a damn about having a very nice bed  (I know it’s Rhett’s line, but I liked the way it sounded).



Mari’s bed is in the United Kingdom.


Maria (of Argentine Babe)  is Argentine-born artist in the UK, who gets her best artistic ideas in bed while working with her assistant (shown).



Charming’s bed is in a Southern city.


Charming (of Charming but Single) is a Southerner who likes both her drinks and her boys tall, but her bed nice and soft.


Sharing Your Bed #2

Royal Bed, Versailles

Wow, I learned so much about beds in such a short time. 

A few people sent me emails that they would love to send me a photo, but unfortunately, it is too personal to share a photo of their bed with the world.   After all, your bed is the place where you sleep, make love, and are vulnerable…

Man, I would love to see what is on their webcam!

Here’s another tidbit I learned: 

Did you know that the bed is so powerful a symbol that some women actually throw out their mattress every time they break up with a man?!  Talk about living expenses!

I perfectly understand this infusing of meaning into an inanimate object.  I spent the weekend cleaning up the house, trying to make more room for the stuff I brought from my apartment.   It is so hard to throw out some things.  I know they are inanimate objects, but they have so much “meaning,” especially when there is a story associated with it. 

Since my father used to visit LA a lot, he kept two suitcases here with his clothes.  It was hard giving some of it to Goodwill yesterday, but what am I going to do with it all?  He had lousy taste in clothes anyway!  (sorry, Dad — I hope you are NOT wearing Haggar polyester slacks in heaven)

And Sophia, don’t get mad, but I finally tossed those three old office chairs.  We can talk about that later.

So, thank you those who DID send a photo of your bed.  Realizing how intimate the bedroom is — it makes your gesture even more special. 

Or should I just assume that those who sent it to me do ALL their lovemaking on the living room carpet and in the shower — so they don’t romanticize their bedroom?

(on request — my infamous bed before I moved to Sophia’s (NSFW))

Will You Share Your Bed With Me?

Tonight I asked Sophia if she wanted me to come to New York for a visit. She said… uh, no. I would be too much of a distraction. They’re already shooting the film and she’s insanely busy.

She’s probably right. I am a distracting person. I’m very needy. I’m lonely and miserable. But I just want what everyone wants — someone to share a bed with.

But wait. I completely forgot — I have YOU, my dear blog reader.

Will you share YOUR bed with me?

That’s right. You can share your bed with me by emailing me a photo of YOUR BED. I will post it later in the week.

Here is an example — the bed of the generous Two Roads at Lindbergh’s Crossing:

If enough people share their beds with me, I think I will be sufficiently satisfied until Sophia’s return.

Men, I don’t mind if you share your bed with me, also — but we’re just going to spoon, OK? (it also might be a good way for the chicks to check out your bedroom, if you get my drift — so make the bed first)

Update, Monday morning, after reading the comments: You women are so picky about what your “Neilochka” must look like, I might just hang out in the guys’ beds. They’ll sleep with anyone.






Update: Both Rhea and DaveG pointed me to a New York Times article today titled, “People Who Share a Bed, and the Things They Say About It,” which only goes to show that bed-sharing is the hippest thing in town!

A Year Ago in Citizen of the Month: When I’m Sixty-Four

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