the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Sharing Your Bed #2

Royal Bed, Versailles

Wow, I learned so much about beds in such a short time. 

A few people sent me emails that they would love to send me a photo, but unfortunately, it is too personal to share a photo of their bed with the world.   After all, your bed is the place where you sleep, make love, and are vulnerable…

Man, I would love to see what is on their webcam!

Here’s another tidbit I learned: 

Did you know that the bed is so powerful a symbol that some women actually throw out their mattress every time they break up with a man?!  Talk about living expenses!

I perfectly understand this infusing of meaning into an inanimate object.  I spent the weekend cleaning up the house, trying to make more room for the stuff I brought from my apartment.   It is so hard to throw out some things.  I know they are inanimate objects, but they have so much “meaning,” especially when there is a story associated with it. 

Since my father used to visit LA a lot, he kept two suitcases here with his clothes.  It was hard giving some of it to Goodwill yesterday, but what am I going to do with it all?  He had lousy taste in clothes anyway!  (sorry, Dad — I hope you are NOT wearing Haggar polyester slacks in heaven)

And Sophia, don’t get mad, but I finally tossed those three old office chairs.  We can talk about that later.

So, thank you those who DID send a photo of your bed.  Realizing how intimate the bedroom is — it makes your gesture even more special. 

Or should I just assume that those who sent it to me do ALL their lovemaking on the living room carpet and in the shower — so they don’t romanticize their bedroom?

(on request — my infamous bed before I moved to Sophia’s (NSFW))


  1. Charming, but single

    I don’t see how a cropped photo of your headboard, sheets and pillows is any more personal than the myriad of pictures of random body parts that people post for Half Naked Thursday, but maybe that’s just me …

    I was going to send you a picture of me IN my bed, but since you’ve made it CLEAR that you want just the bed, I will not.

  2. Neil

    Well, I do know a lot of people close the doors to their bedrooms when guests come over for the same reason.

  3. Charming, but single

    I only do that because my room is where I hide all of the mess from the rest of the house, like piles of shoes and laundry, when company comes over … if my room were ever clean, I’d give guided tours.

  4. Pearl

    “Carving a notch in a bedpost” takes on a whole new meaning with that photo, Neil.

  5. Jody

    Throwing out their bed everytime they break up with someone – have they ever heard of mattress pads? Much cheaper solution if they are so creeped out by their own sexcapades. On further thought, does that mean these people never sleep on the beds at a hotel? Help me here, I know there is a word for this phobia?

  6. laurie

    What is this “lovemaking” of which you speak?

  7. V-Grrrl

    Want to ruin a perfectly good bed? Let your parents (or in-laws) sleep in it when they visit.

    That creates a lot of psychological damage in the bedroom.

  8. Sarah

    I missed the boat on the last post, but figured you’ve seen plenty of pics of my bed with me revealing far too much about myself already. 😉
    Throwing out the matress?? That’s insane, I’m sorry. Those things are expensive! Ritual burning of the guys car is much more satisfying and cleansing, girls. Come on.

  9. :: jozjozjoz ::

    Thanks for the note, Neil. Twas nice to hear from you.

    As far as beds, what does it mean when we keep accumulating more mattresses? I think there are like 5-6 at my Mom’s house and there are only two occupied beds there!

  10. ElizaF

    I would love to send you a photo of our bed but at the moment it contains 1 Bob the builder toy (a CHILD’S toy), a chocolate ice-cream stain (I was ill last week) and none of the bedclothes match. I also suspect it is not made to my standards but you have enough of a picture with that lot surely 🙂

  11. Neil

    Eliza — It’s the thought that counts. And that neat bed in the other post is not mine but another blogger!

  12. Dustin

    Neil, in the picture we send…do the beds have to be made? Because I love ‘ya and all, but I ain’t making the bed for nobody.

  13. ms. sizzle

    they are all totally getting it on in the kitchen neil. that’s what’s happening. the kitchen table is the new bed, haven’t you heard? 😉

    getting rid of stuff can really be cleansing – good for you!

  14. deannie

    After taking one peek at that bed…umm, wow. I’m with Pearl on the notion about carving a notch on the bedpost…

    Did I say WOW?

  15. Dagny

    Hmmm. Never thought of ritual burning of the guy’s car. My friends and I would hold ritual burnings after a break up — usually photos and other stuff. We discovered the stuff burns a lot better if you douse it Jack Daniels first.

  16. Tara

    Did any of your bedposts talk too? I bet they could have a hell of a conversation with your penis.

    I sent mine in finally – it wasn’t the least bit intimate – just don’t ask me to send in a picture of my kitchen table…

  17. Daisy Mae

    Gee, and I thought I was the only one with that bed. And to think the salesman told me it was one of a kind.

  18. kristen

    Yeah, who needs the standard old bed when there’s the kitchen counter, the other bedrooms in my home (not my daughters though!) and even the golf course that our property butts up against…..gotta love nature!

  19. Fitena

    I thought it was only the bed coves and sheets which were thrown and new lingerie bought! Well, we always do learn new stuff, don’t we?
    Take last week for instance, I had the day off and decided I’d watch the Tv instead of read which requires a lot more concentration: there was the boriest french movie on TV. It pt me to sleep. What I remember about it is that it depicted a France of the 19th century where people slept in beds which were actually in the walls like some wardrobes you know. A father reprimanded his son in the moring: “can’t you close your bed for God’s sake?”


  20. Suzette

    The anonymity of the internets allows me to reveal that one of the few TV programs that I watch regularly is COPS and the reason I watch it is that the bedrooms of the criminals always look more messed up than mine does. I find it a comfort.

  21. Leesa

    And I was all ready to send you a picture of my bed 🙂
    Oh well…

  22. Caitlinator

    I love your penis bed, Neil.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial