Just in case you don’t believe that I’m living the ultimate Hollywood life, I went to a big red-carpet premiere last night. Yes, Sophia got us free tickets to the opening night of "The Fab Four" at the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center. "The Fab Four" are Beatles impersonators. No, actually, "Beatlemania" was first. So, they are more accurately impersonators of the impersonators of the Beatles. Surprisingly, they weren’t half-bad. It was almost as if I was there seeing the original "Beatlemania."
I’m pretty tired today and don’t feel much like blogging. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to introduce you to my impersonator, who will be taking over my duties today.
Neil Impersonator: Hello, everyone.
Neil: They’re all yours.
Neil Impersonator: What do I write about?
Neil: Just any shit. They don’t care.
Neil Impersonator: Give me a hint. I’m really a florist by profession. I don’t write much.
Neil: Write about the show last night.
Neil Impersonator: I didn’t even see it.
Neil: Here’s the Playbill.
Neil Impersonator: (leafing through the Playbill) Look at all these ads — AARP, assisted living…
Neil: Remember it is the Beatles. Can you believe it’s been 40 years. Most of the audience was 65 years old. It was great seeing them screaming to "Revolution."
Neil Impersonator: What’s this ad for with this smiling white-haired couple? What’s "Reverse Mortgages?"
Neil: I didn’t know either. I had to ask Sophia. Basically you give up your house to this "mortgage" company and they pay you every month to help you with the essentials.
Neil Impersonator: And what happens to the house?
Neil: Apparently, when you die, they keep it.
Neil Impersonator: What if you die the next day?
Neil: Tough. It’s a gamble. Sounds pretty stupid to me. The ad looks like it preys on the fears of older people.
Neil Impersonator: So, this company is basically waiting for you to die. Then, they celebrate because they just took your house.
Neil: Exactly. You think John Lennon would approve?
Neil Impersonator: I don’t think a John Lennon impersonator of an impersonator would approve.