Category: Blogging and the Internet (Page 36 of 57)

 

I love Sophia.   She is smart.  She if funny.  She knows how to make very good French toast.  But she’s not perfect.

“When are you going to learn to knit?”  I asked.

“I’m not interested in knitting.”

“Knitting is very hot now as a hobby.”

“Shhh.  I’m reading about playing Texas Hold-em.  That’s what I’m interested in.”

“The house is drafty.  You can knit me a willie warmer.”

“Why don’t you just wear pajamas?”

“It’s just not the same.”

“Use a sock.”

Sigh.

My new approach to life is to look at everything in a positive way.   I need to accept the fact that Sophia was not put on this Earth to knit me a willie warmer.  

Maybe the gods are teaching me a lesson.

“Stop being a man with such a dependent personality structure!” bellows one of tough-ass gods.  “You can’t depend on Sophia for everything!”

How true.  Luckily, I know so many wonderful knitting bloggers — Dagny, Psychomom, Caron, Ellen Bloom, Katie, etc… (did I forget anyone?)

One of these knitting bloggers is Laurie.  She writes the popular Crazy Aunt Purl.   Her blog is about knitting and cats… but mostly about her life.   She’s very funny.  On paper, I have as much in common with her as I do recent guest poster NSC.  But that’s what makes the blogosphere such a special place.   You learn to relate to all different types of people with all different types of interests, and you can connect in ways that would never occur in real life.  

Recently, I’ve been bad-mouthing blogging as “inferior” to actual real-life interaction, but I’m changing my mind.  On Monday night, I had dinner with Hilly and Karl.  We had a wonderful time, and I had to remind myself that I wouldn’t even KNOW these friends, or even had met them if it weren’t for blogging.  And I wouldn’t have “met” Laurie, even though we live in the same city.

Laurie just wrote a book that is now in pre-order at Amazon.  It is titled Crazy Aunt Purl’s Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair: The True-Life Misadventures of a 30-Something Who Learned to Knit After He Split. 

Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair is the irreverent first-person narrative of a contemporary, displaced Southern woman facing life after her husband leaves her to “get his creativity back.” With infectious humor and heart, she explains how she gets her groove back after finding herself alone in a rented house with four cats, a mountain of boxes and a slightwine-and-Cheetos problem. Reeling from the sting of divorce, it is the hobby of knitting — and the adventures it leads her to — that keep her from “directing traffic in her nightgown.”

Readers will laugh and cry with her as she gets dumped, makes new friends, gains weight (aka The Divorce Diet), travels abroad, and navigates the ins and outs of the modern dating scene. With her sense of humor and broken heart, she chronicles how “picking up sticks” helps her to pick up her life.

Most of you know how much I hate pimping my blog out to promote someone else, so you can just imagine the huge crush I have on Laurie.  I will even make a one-time unique promotional offer — the first person who tells me in my comments that they have ordered Laurie’s book through Amazon, will also get a special gift.  I will kick my dependent personality in the butt and I will KNIT YOU A WASHCLOTH by myself!  That’s right, although I have no idea how to do it, I will learn!  Neilochka of “Citizen of the Month” will use his hands for something other than typing on the keyboard and uh…uh… well, whatever — to knit you a first edition “Citizen of the Month” washcloth.  Imagine — you can be the envy of all your friends. 

Right now, I am just offering one washcloth, since it will probably take me three months to do it.  Once I get really good at it, then I will open up my online store.

Jessica of Daughter of Opinion asked me to post a photo of what I look like the minute I wake up in the morning for her “Rise and Shine” photo challenge.   Here is what Jessica looks like in the morning.  Of course she loves this photo challenge idea because she would be beautiful with mud on her face.  I thought Hilly and Karl looked sexy in their photos.  I’m not a bad fan of overly made-up people, anyway.

Ugh, but I look like a mess in the morning.

Here’s my photo from when I first woke up. 

 

I forget the name of the woman in bed with me.  Give me a break!  I show her a good time!  Isn’t that enough?  Do I have to remember her name?

Ha Ha.  I know some of you are gullible, but that really isn’t me.   Here I am. 

And yes, I do sometimes fall asleep with my glasses on.  

Show yourself — if you dare!

IMPORTANT UPDATE:  OK, I cheated.  Sophia scolded me as vain, so here is the REAL very first photo, the one before I put on my glasses and straightened my hair.

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:   Those Dancing Feet

It’s so hard keeping up with everyone’s blogs!

Isn’t it?

I get so emotional over the lives of people I don’t know.

Don’t you!

It gets worse when I actually meet people, like everyone in Portland.

Why’s that?

Once you meet the person behind a blog, it gets difficult writing superficial little comments.  You want MORE.

Forget about everyone else.  Just concentrate on writing.  Look at Dooce.  She’s popular and she never comments anywhere.

Well, she’s a better writer.  I need to work harder or everyone will abandon me as fast as MSNBC did Don Imus.

More penis posts!

Eh…  how much stroking can it take?

You don’t want to look elitist.  Try to be part of the crowd.  Do what all the other kids are doing.

Do you mean…?

Yes, do one of those dumb memes.

This is for you, Whoorl.  

Five questions asked by Whoorl, according to some meme going around like the Hong Kong flu —

1.  What are two things about LA that you couldn’t live without?

a)  My favorite place in Los Angeles is the Farmer’s Market.  It’s one of the few places in town where I feel at home.  It’s touristy AND local.  I love the fact that it has been there since 1934.  I appreciate establishments with a bit of history.  There are much better “markets” in other cities, such as New York, San Francisco, and Seattle, but this corny market just feels so outdated here, that I like it even more.  I was afraid the Farmer’s Market would go downhill after they opened a massive mall next door, but the market seems to have survived, and Starbucks and the Coffee Bean haven’t killed the donut shop just yet.  Since moving to Redondo Beach, I go to the Farmer’s Market less than I used to, but I try to go there whenever I’m in the area for a cup of coffee.  It’s a great meeting place, too.  It’s where I first met Communicatrix in person.  One day, I want to go see Ellen and Laurie at their West Hollywood Stich n’ Bitch meeting on the second floor of the Farmer’s Market.  I haven’t done it yet because I’ve been too afraid of getting sucked into learning how to crochet.

b)  A car.

2.  Do you have a secret talent (not relating to your penis)?

Empathy.

3.  Have you ever visited a State Fair? What is your favorite fair/amusement park food? (I prefer funnel cakes, just in case you are interested.)

I had never gone to a State Fair until I’ve moved to California, but now I love them.  I’ve been to the Los Angeles County Fair, the Orange County Fair, and the Ventura County Fair.   I never go on any of the rides or play any of the games of chance.  I like eating corn on the cob.  It tastes better when eaten outside.  I get a kick out of seeing the farm animals.  I’m a big fan of goat cheese, so I like to say hello to the goats.  Goats are ugly, but make beautiful cheese.   The highlight of any country fair may be surprising to you — the tablesetting competition.  I had never heard of this until my first fair, and I was immediately hooked.  What a weird concept!  Some competitors go all out, serving their Mexican-style dinners in bowls shaped like sombreros.  I especially enjoy the theme settings — the Oscar parties with movie reel centerpieces or the children’s birthday table “decorated” like Mars.  I enjoy the theatrics of it all.  Of course, it isn’t all just style.  Each competitor has to follow the correct table setting rules, with the silverware and glasses all in the right positions.   It’s way cool.   Hopefully, one day when I am asked again, “Do you have a secret talent?” I will answer, “I’m a competitive table setter.”

4. Red or black licorice?

Definitely red licorice.  I grew up on Twizzlers, but have grown to like the Red Vines they sell in Los Angeles.  I don’t eat them much anymore, because I want my teeth.

Al Sharpton:  “And what do you have against “black” licorice?”

Neil:  “Uh, I change my mind.  I like black licorice, too.”

5. You must move to either Tokyo or Helsinki.  Which one and why?

From Miss Universe Pageant

Evening Gown Competition

Miss Japan

Miss Finland

Tokyo +1

Swimsuit Competition

Miss Japan

Miss Finland

Helsinki +1

National Costume Competition

Miss Japan

Miss Finland

Helsinki +1

National Food

Sushi in Japan

Grilled Reindeer in Finland

Tokyo +12

I would move to Tokyo.

(the first person who asks will get my five questions)

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:  Passive-Aggressive