Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Happiness: A Photoshop Tutorial

My mother was a little worried about me today, so I decided to take some action to make her feel better. Luckily, I’ve gotten pretty proficient in Adobe Photoshop over the years. Here’s a handy little tutorial in using Photoshop to change your emotional state from sad to happy. Try it yourself!

original emotion — SAD

Now, open up Photoshop, and follow these specific directions:




As a final step, SAVE AS Happiness. You’re successfully used Photoshop to enhance your life!

new emotion — Happy

Come back for more FREE Photoshop Tutorials!

P.S. — By the way,  Communicatrix deals with the issue of happiness in a slightly more mature way.


  1. That pink underwear is making me ill.

  2. Thank you. I look so much better as a blonde in a blue tank top.

  3. Damn, I need to shave my ‘pits.

  4. I’m definitely trying this one out RIGHT NOW.

  5. There should be a plug-in for that, shouldn’t there?

    (Okay, that really wasn’t supposed to sound that dirty.)

  6. Are those PINK Y-Fronts??? Oh God save me now! That’s not happy – that’s delerious!

  7. Thank goodness for software and your hard drive.

  8. This might make for a great weekly series, Neil. And you could take suggestions from your readers.

    How about how Photoshop can help a shiksa convert to Judaism?

  9. Arjewtino, Photoshop can do ANYTHING!

  10. Will this also work in Photoshop elements or do you need the full version?

  11. ROFL!!! Thanks, Neil. After the week I’ve had, I needed a laugh. XOXOX

  12. Awesome! Happiness is simple, apparently, and it is found on/near a computer. I suspected as much.

  13. Photoshop Element does a decent enough job, but you end up dancing with two girls who are even skankier.

  14. Ok, come clean. You so retouched that ass!

  15. The second one looks more drunky or horny than happy.

  16. that guy’s eyes are doing something freaky…maybe his panties are too tight!

  17. OMG.

    That would have been a “Spray Diet Coke on my monitor” moment if I was still imbibing in “The Dark Waters”.

    I totally needed this today.

  18. OMG!! I just laughed sooo hard that my ginger ale just came out of my nose!! I’ve got some (fat and old) pictures of me I’d love you to Photoshop!@

  19. Witchypoo — I’m all for pleasing the customer. Is this a better finale to show “happiness?” Should I switch? It is sort of a wimpier version of happiness. Not a pink underwear one.


  20. wow. they never taught us that at university when we were covering photoshop.

  21. If you’re going to mess with the color levels, you could at least make the underwear something OTHER than pink.

    Hilarious post, Neil.

  22. I do that to ALL my photos.

  23. All this time I thought that I didn’t need Photoshop. I guess I was wrong.

  24. So that’s what that “save as” function is for??? Damn! I learn something new from you every day! Who knew happiness was a mouse click away? (Save for those who surf for porn and have known for some time that happiness is a mouse click away).

  25. WHOA.

    Those graphs bring back horrible memories of engineering school. As does the photo. Hahaha.

  26. Photoshop can do anything? Can it even make me naked?

  27. Oh wow…

    And then both girls sobered up and realized what the guy in the pink panties really looked like.

  28. You’re nutso Neil, seriously, I’ve done that tutorial and it doesn’t make me wear pink drawers.

  29. awesome, but that tech stuff is way over my head, wouldn’t even know where to begin.
    i think the pink is a nice change from your usual tidy whities!

  30. I like the second photo better, just cause it looks more retro… Did you use an older version of Photoshop to get that effect?

  31. Photoshop can change your life. As for being happy or unhappy? I prefer installing a switch. sometimes that switch is called vodka.

    be well neilochka. xo

  32. Sorry, Neil, but the pink panties ain’t workin’ for me. Please go back to the Curious George pair! All will be well!

  33. i know that guy — he was on the “douchebags in pink undies” site, one of my faves.

    neil, you have to cut down with the comedy. it’s going to get me in trouble.

  34. Look at the inches between both females and the dude in the middle…He may be happy..but they def aren’t into it..The blonde is just getting off on her self I think..

    I’ve seen some real close contact dancing..and this really isn’t it…

    ah easily fooled.

  35. I think you accidentally applied the gay filter… how else does one explain the pink tighties?

  36. You’re not well.

    Will you really teach me how to use photoshop?

  37. Finally a tutorial that I can follow and understand.

    You sir, are a great American.

    If you are, in fact, American.

    Yeah, what am I talking about? Of course you are American.

    But…if you ARE Eurotrash…I’ll find out about that.

    I think my blood sugar is low.

  38. Have you seen the “You Suck At Photoshop” tutorials on YouTube? I think you need to give that guy some lessons!

  39. This is pretty clever.

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