Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

My Cyber Clone

hal2001.jpg 

Blogging, Facebook, Twitter, E-mail.  Sometimes your online life can be so overwhelming. The biggest productivity killer of them all is IM.  How many conversations can you have in one day with people you hardly know?   I know my productivity has soared since I found the solution — MyCyberTwin.

MyCyberTwin is a website that allows you to quickly create compelling virtual personalities called CyberTwins. These virtual beings live and breathe on the web and chat to your friends, family, colleagues or customers on your behalf.

Creating your very own CyberTwin is easy. All you have to do is register and then give your CyberTwin some ideas of things you want it to chat about. If you feed your CyberTwin content from your own IM conversations, email or blog, it will actually learn to talk and be just like you! It will be your digital personality and represent YOU online.

Basically, you give the site information, and your cybertwin starts to chat with others just like YOU would, learning to react more and more like YOU as time goes on.  It begins to mimic exactly how you respond on IM, so it becomes your voice while you do more important things, like play Scrabble online.

Here’s a transcript of my IM conversations this morning.   Notice that when my online “clone” encountered an unusual situation, it was able to “re-adjust” the script to fit the new scenario.

BOB SENDS A MESSAGE.

Bob:  “Hey, Neilochka.  What’s up?”

Neil Clone:  “Hello there.  Are you a man or a woman?”

Bob:  “Ha Ha.  You are funny.  I’m a man, of course!”

Neil Clone:  “Do you have a high Technorati rating or are you someone who can advance my career in any way?”

Bob:  “Huh?  What’s Technorati?  And I’m unemployed right now… well, I do some freelance XML coding…”

Neil Clone:  “Unemployed male person!  Please excuse me.   I have to go to the store and buy a bra for Sophia.   I will contact you some day.  Good-bye.”

NANCY SENDS A MESSAGE.

Nancy:  “Hi, Neil.  Loved your last post!”

Neil Clone:  “Hello there.  Are you a man or a woman?”

Nancy:  “Ha Ha.  You are funny.   You know what I am.”

Neil Clone:  “From the quick-pace of your type-stroke, I am 87% positive that you are a female.”

Nancy:  “Yes, I am!  I am woman, hear me roar!”

Neil Clone:   “Woman with pop culture reference.  78% chance you are college-educated.   69% that you will have sex by second date.  What are you wearing, person of female gender?

Nancy:  “A business suit.  I’m taking a lunch break at the office.”

Neil Clone:  “I love your blog.   You are the prettiest blogger in the blogosphere.   I am a Pisces.   We should f**k right now.   We can do it online.”

Nancy:  “Neil, that is a completely inappropriate and disrespectful.  Can’t you at least wait until I get back home and my husband and the kids are asleep?”

Neil Clone:  “You want me.  You want my…  please hold on, there is another incoming Instant Message.”

NEIL’S MOTHER SENDS A MESSAGE.

Neil’s Mother:  “Neil?  Are you there?”

Neil Clone:  “Hello there.  Are you a man or a woman?”

Neil’s Mother:  “What?!   I’m your mother.”

Neil Clone:  “Mother?  Mother is a woman.   What are you wearing, hot momma?”

Neil’s Mother:   “Are you meshugguna?”

Neil Clone:  “Something is wrong with circuitry.  Overheating.   Red flag!  Red flag!  Flirting with actual birth Mother.  Self-destruction mode on.  10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-”

NEIL’S IM MESSAGE:  AT THERAPY 

20 Comments

  1. Is your clone Jewish and preoccupied with his penis too?

  2. [Belly laughing] I gotta get me one of those clones! What happens when the clone encounters a Hijra online?? What?!? It could happen…

    I can’t help but feel that my reference to XML last night on Twitter seeped into your writing today…but, then again, maybe I am just flattering myself. 😉

    Have fun at therapy!

  3. Butterfly — Yes, you are right, Ms. XML. I take my references from where I get them. I would have used Flashvars, but nobody knows what that is.

    And the sex stuff comes from an aborted attempt to hit on birthday girl Scarlet Hip.

  4. Neil,

    I just went onto CyberTwin and talked to George W. for a little while…now my head hurts and I want to hit something…his cyber twin is JUST like him! Remarkable.

    lol 😉

  5. On your own mother?! Your clone is definitely losing it, dude

  6. Akaky, did you notice the HAL photo from 2001? Clever, huh?

  7. 180/360 clones says: Neil you are too funny! Have fun at therapy.

  8. Ok. I am going to try this. 😉

  9. Hmmmm I do like to multitask…

  10. Neil, I was talking with your cyber twin last night and he revealed to me that he is actually a 300 pound hairy gorilla.

    What is going on?

  11. I need to get me one of those.

  12. I IM with friends but I am not always on there. My cyber twin is out to lunch somewhere!

  13. I’d rather have a clone who could drive my daughters all over hell, so I’d be free to talk to people on-line as myself.

  14. Get me a clone to wash my dishes and sit on the 101 for me! I just do not get all the Zwinky, Second Life, Cybertwin stuff. I have a hard enough time managing what I say and do without worrying that some clone I’ve created is making mischief!

  15. I had a good laugh! Really, I never ever chat with anyone on the net.. I prefer to do my blog hopping in solitude. lol

  16. Hilarious! This could be a skit on SNL. Only your entry was actually funny.

  17. Hahaha I need to get one of those…Though I’m guessing I’d lose a lot of friends…and have to join you in therapy!

  18. very clever, Neil…you do remember what happened to HAL, right?

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