It was about a year ago that I told the lie. A food blogger, most probably Delicious or Smitten, had written a post about an interesting dish she had made.
I wrote a comment saying that “I should try to make this dish.”
The blogger wrote back, asking, “Neil, you cook?”
I replied, “Of course.”
Now, I’m not stupid. I know that women love men who can cook, even more than men who are funny. So when a pretty food blogger asks if you can cook, you say, “Of course.”
Of course, I was lying. I’m not much of a cook. I can make a decent salad, a mushroom omellette, a tuna fish salad, and spaghetti and meatballs. That’s about it.
With Sophia in surgery mode, it has been on my shoulders to produce dinner lately — which means take-out. Chinese, Thai, Mexican, Lebanese, Italian. Frankly, it’s getting expensive. A large hot and sour soup + one chicken and broccoli = at least fifteen dollars.
That’s why, I’ve decided to do a little cooking next week. Sophia’s next second surgery is tomorrow, and she’ll probably be out of it for a few days. Wouldn’t it be nice for her to have some home-cooked meals?
This is where YOU come in. I need a few SIMPLE recipes. Remember, Sophia is not a Campbell’s Soup type of gal. The meals have to be simple enough for a moron to cook, but still tasty for a picky eater. Think of this as a public service for men who can’t cook.
And thank you, Whoorl and Marisa from Apartment 2024, who have already given me suggestions on Twitter. (Whoorl: The All-New Ultimate Southern Living Cookbook (is she nuts?)) (Marisa at Apartment 2024: Her terrific ForkYou.TV!)
Mommybloggers, I need you. If anyone knows how to whip up a simple meal, it is you. Now, I know a few of you are still upset at me for insulting you on this blog, mocking you, and drawing Stalin-era mustaches on the photos of your precious children. But let us now make peace. Tell me your secret — for how long do you cook rice?
And please. No macaroni and cheese. She won’t eat it.
And nothing with bacon.
And Delicious/Smitten/whoever it was — I’m sorry I lied.
One more question, before I do this cooking gig, do you think I should ask Sophia if she WANTS me to do this?
buy a cooked chicken in supermarket and slice it.make a salad . and you have a great dinner.
Neil, I’m not a Mommyblogger but I do like to cook…
Do you have a slowcooker (crockpot)?
I have a yummy and very simple recipe for potato soup I can pass along, if you’d like. ??
I don’t like to (don’t have the talent to) cook either, BUT Trader Joe’s was tailored for people like us. I checked, and there’s one in Redondo Beach. For a really simple, under-20-minute and under-10-dollars recipe, I go to Trader Joe’s. Pick up some of their pre-made brown rice, a bag of frozen vegetables, and a jar of red curry sauce. I defrost the veggies in the microwave, then throw them and the rice together in a wok (frying pan if you need). Brown everything in an extra virgin olive oil. Warm up the curry sauce, then dump some on and serve. It’s really good, and pretty much the only thing that got my roommates and I through finals last year.
easiest chicken in the world:
-preheat oven to 350 degrees
-chicken breasts – no skin – given em a quick wash and dry with paper towel.
-cover breasts in mayo or miracle whip (i prefer mayo).
-roll breasts in crushed cheese nips crackers
(the hardest part of the recipe is crushing the nips. if you have a food processor, you’re home free)
wow, if you read this a certain way, it’s kinda kinky.
spray a baking dish with pam, put the chicken in the dish, put dish in oven for 30 minutes or till fully cooked.
trust me. these are delish. this recipe is my daughter’s favorite comfort food. i hope you and sophia enjoy them :0)
Wow, a lot of people sure love you to be offering up all this foodie advice. Or maybe it’s Sophia they love. No matter. Stop trying to cook rice. Get thee a rice cooker. Pour rice in, pour water over it. Let rice soak. Drain water out. Of the required liquid needed, make 1/2 of it chicken broth and the other 1/2 water. Easy example? Two cups of rice + one cup of chicken broth + one cup of water. Press button to “rice cook.” When button pops up, rice is done. And delicious.
Here’s a recipe that is soooo incredibly simple but Sophia will think you spent hours in the kitchen…
First buy yourself a cast iron skillet. They’re super cheap & easy clean up (you basically just rinse it with water & scrap off any food once you’re done). I know that sounds gross but the oils when you cook keep seasoning the pan. The skillets can be find at K-Mart, Target, Wal-Mart, etc. for less than $10. Before you cook with your new pan, don’t forget to season it (applying a little oil to the pan and baking for an hr.); the instructions will be included with your pan.
Season a package of skinless chicken breast with a little salt, seasoned pepper, garlic powder and Adobo (spanish seasoning by Goya can be found in your supermarket’s ethnic section). Turn your stove top on high and when the pan is nice & hot place the chicken breast inside for about a minute on each side. Take the pan off of the stove top and put it in the oven at 350 for 5 mins. on each side. If you an olive oil pump you can spray it when you turn your chicken but if you don’t it’s ok. I sometimes will sprinkle a little balmsamic vinegar on my chicken to add a little more flavor. Cooking with cast iron skillets definitely makes my meats more tender and the cooking time is incredibly fast!
Buy a box of Couscous. Boil 1 3/4 c of water and 1 Tbl of olive oil. Once the water is boiling turn off the stove top, add the couscous and cover. And voila it’s done. It’s super simple! I sometimes will microwave a bag of broccoli and add that to the couscous and drizzle a little soy sauce. I’m telling you this is the easiest recipe ever! This truly is a 30 minute meal! Let me know if you have any questions and good luck!
Easiest recipe ever and it looks fancy. You need only four ingredients, and you don’t have to measure anything, and even a GUY can make it (ha ha):
1) Salmon fillet (buy it FRESH, Neil)
2) Jar of mango Chutney (usually called “major gray’s”)–you’ll find it in a jar at your local supermarket either in the condiments or international food aisles
3) Seasoned bread crumbs (you can buy this already made and seasoned)
4) Pam Olive Oil cooking Spray (or substitute real olive oil if you can manage it)
Directions:
–preheat oven to 350
–Wash and pat dry salmon
–lay it skin side down in a pan sprayed with Pam (or greased with olive oil)
–take a few spoonfuls of chutney and smear it over the top of the salmon until all parts of it are covered
–Then sprinkle the bread crumbs in on top of the chutney layer (there should be just enough so that you can’t see the chutney anymore)
–spray breadcrumbs with pam olive oil spray (or, drizzle olive oil over bread crumbs)
–place in oven
–bake for 10-15 minutes, or until salmon flakes easily in the thickest part of the fish.
–if the bread crumbs haven’t gotten crunchy by the end, you can turn on the broiler and keep it there for a second so that the bread crumbs brown SLIGHTLY. watch it carefully so it doesn’t burn.
Easy peasy.
For a side dish: buy some brocollini, chop off the tail ends of the stems, stick it in a steamer, steam until bright green and JUST soft enough for a fork to poke into the stems. Season with salt and pepper. Done.
sorry, neil, that should be 375, not 350.
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bawk bawk bawk! I think you should make them ALL now. What a lot of great recipes!