Of all the blogging applications out there, developers forgot one important one — a quick and easy way for a reader to communicate to another blogger without writing a comment. Sometimes, I’m too frazzled to write a comment. Sometimes, I just don’t have anything intelligent to say. I’d love to be able to push a button on my keyboard and send an emoticon to my fellow blogger saying, “I love what you say, but I can’t comment right now because I need to work/have sex/wash the dishes/watch “Deal or No Deal.”
I just learned on Sarah’s blog, that this is “National De-lurking Week.” If you are a “lurker,” you are supposed to come out of the shadows and prove your worth. I wish I had this imaginary application for you, so you could easily communicate to me, but I guess we are stuck with the comment section.
Dear lurkers, I perfectly understand your reasons for not commenting on Citizen of the Month. I get tired of commenting on blogs myself. There are SO many blogs out there! I just hope it isn’t MY FAULT that you keep lurking away. Someone once told me that she never comments on my blog because some of the other commenters are too “clever” and she feels intimidated. Can you believe that? If you’re someone who regularly comments on this blog, could you do me a favor by revealing the truth about yourself: you are an idiot like everyone else… maybe even more so! Who else wastes their time blogging for no pay? There is not a reason in the world for anyone to be intimidated by you. C’mon, Citizen of the Month commenters, make my lurkers feel welcome.
A bigger danger is that a lurker is turned off by cliquishness of bloggers. I have a habit of writing about other bloggers as if they were my “friends” and it can make this blog seem quite in-groupy at times. Some newcomer might even think we all know each other. I hate it when I go to someone’s blog and I’m made to feel like an outsider. I’ll comment and… nothing. Not even a hello. I know… I know… we’re all guilty of that, including myself, but take note — there is no clique here at Citizen of the Month. I dislike everyone equally. I don’t really know anyone, and the ones that I’ve met in person, let’s just say, you wouldn’t want to. And Sophia says I need therapy! Hah, wait until she meets some of YOU! Honestly, I’m blogging for one reason — tits, big, small, I know some of you have them and it keeps me focused on my writing. (keep that in mind when you bid on me for that charity auction)
So, don’t be afraid of commenting because you feel like an outsider. I treat everyone the same here at Citizen of the Month. Well, except for the male bloggers. You’re useless.
So, Happy National De-Lurking Week, my lurking friends. Comment here — if you DARE, you anonymous pussies!
I really enjoyed this...
It starts on Thursday. I’m not even sure if I was supposed to show it to yet. But I wanted the OK for the photo.
Hi,
My name is Karen. I admit it. I lurk. Haven’t quite made it to stalker status.
Karen, I de-lurk you. Rather than stalking me, can I suggest bidding on me for a charity auction starting on Thursday.
By the way, I don’t exactly understand the rules. Do I take the woman out or does she take me out? Because if she takes me out, I’m getting the most expensive dish.
I asked Sophia if she is going to bid on me and she just laughed. That’s because she already knows my real worth. Luckily, you don’t. Can we start the bidding at $20,000?
1. I arrived via Stacy at Jurgen Nation and have been reading you on RSS for a little over a month.
2. I have tits.
3. The phone story in the NYC bar is adorable.
4. I could care less about the cliqueishness, if it even exists, and think everyone should also cease to care.
5. The above items are in no way related.
Lurkers — For educational purposes, let me point out to you that Maliavale mentioned Stacy of Jurgen Nation as a go-between. This type of name-dropping is important in the blogosphere, as it is in the real world. Obviously, this “Stacy” can open a lot of doors, so it is good to read her blog. I don’t even have to read Maliavale’s blog to see if I like it. “Stacy sent me” is more than enough. Sometimes, I go to new blogs and say “Dooce sent me.” It isn’t true, but screw it — no velvet blogging rope for me! However, saying “Neilochka sent me,” won’t do much for you other than get you more Viagra spam.
But, I operate without a velvet rope here. So, don’t feel that you have to mention Stacy or some other “connected” blogger in order to comment here. Even Maliavale should have known that her tits were more than enough to get on my blogroll.
I’ll de-lurk when Dooce does.
Hi Neil, thanks for calling us out! As blogless delurkers, we sometimes feel left out of the discussion at hand for all of the reasons you mentioned. And commenting on someone’s blogpost, especially when you don’t have a blog yourself, can sometimes be like a conversation-crasher at a party who doesn’t know the group, but puts her two-cents in anyways. Everyone’s going “Who IS this weirdo?” as they give each other the raised eyebrow.
Thankfully, the regular commentators at Citizen of the Month seem like a nice bunch who wouldn’t raise their eyebrows at anyone …
Maybe one day I’ll have my own blog, but in the meantime, I’ll continue being your avid blogless lingerer. Your intelligence & wit have made you the first blogger that I read every morning, and waking up to you, Neil, is the best
At Neil’s request, I’m offering the ugly truth: I’m old, I’m fat, I’m bored, I spend too much time on the computer, and I’m mathematically retarded.
Does everyone feel comfortable now–because you know, I’m feelin’ seriously uncomfortable. Think I’ll go lurk somewhere.
Neil–the things I do for you! Showing my tits would be easier.
Hello my name is Jazz i am an idiot like everyone else… maybe even more so! Who else wastes their time blogging for no pay? There is not a reason in the world for anyone to be intimidated by me. Yeppers, that about sums it up.
Awww Neil, I dislike you too!
Neil:
Of all the bloggers out there, you are the one who does the best job of connecting everyone. Thank you for that. I think the world would be a better place if there were more Neils around to fill bridge the gaps.
And I’m no lurker, but evertime I get to your blog, there’s like a billion comments already and I think, “Sheesh. Everything’s been said already.” It’s like showing up to a party with only dried guacamole and corn chip crumbs and everyone is putting on their coat to leave.
I’ve got to get a job where I can blog at work. No doubt about it.
Thanks again, Neil!
You nailed it with the whole clique thing!
I’m officially submitting my application as a reader of the blog. I’ll patiently wait for the blog response button saying, “I have nothing intelligent to say, but this grunt means I agree!/I disagree!/I don’t know how to use words!
I may be worthless, but I’m speaking up, anyway. You know, in the spirit of delurking.
Hi Neil,
I delurked a while ago, even though I am not clever and witty! Though I will say that I didn’t feel that I was invading a popular in-crowd… and if I shoulda felt more shy.. my bad! : )
Welcome, Woman with Kids. Great to meet you. We need more mommybloggers in the blogging community. (joking, hah hah)
Sarah — Obviously you aren’t easily intimidated.
You write for tits?!? SUCH.A.GUY. Love that about you tho
I’m all for an international re-lurk day. I want to read and laugh to myself without having to think of something witty and quasi-appropriate for every blog post I read. February is All Nations’ Read and Appreciate in Silence Month.
I don’t wanna be just another lurker…
I’m not necessarily a lurker, but I’m a horrible commenter.
With 69 comments before mine, about all I can say is, “Yeah, what he/she said!”
Geeze, V. Now I have to support you AND help Neil’s cause…okay:
I’m brilliant but I don’t have any tits to show.
Damn you, Neil.
Hello. It’s my first time here, so I’m not much of a lurker, but it seems like cheating not to leave a comment during De-Lurking Week.
Welcome Di and Srah!
Hello, I don’t comment because I have nothing to say;
But I still love reading your blog everyday!
RedVelvetRope –
Nothing to say?! What are you mute? OK, tell me one of your favorite subjects so I will write a post about it so you can have something to say.
And I like your name –
I hate the term “tits”, doesn’t it only refer to nipples? And we all know the best term for nipples is “smuggling raisins”.
I found this blog in September by googling “Sedaris blog”, if you were wondering. I usually don’t comment because there are too many comments and mine would get lost anyway (unless I say something really interesting, but that requires too much thinking)
Being a habitual lurker i am not sure the protocal for responding to a question on someone else’s comment roll.
But, there may be many more men than women up here. But when it comes to men with teeth… that’s another ratio entirely.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to take a break from blogging…
1. Trust me. You don’t WANT to see my “tits” (I hate that word).
2. Unfortunately, I think the deal with Sophia not bidding is the age old, “Why buy the cow (or bull) when you can get the milk (um. er. you know what I mean)for free.”
3.I read your blog last. I always save the best for last.
Neil Kramer, you’re my hero.
looking at the lurker wiki…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lurker
and finding myself of the benign category..
Not quite a lurker but it is somewhat intimidating knowing I walked into a party and don’t know anyone and everyone is talking to each other…
Here. Sitting at the back of class most days, but always entertained… waiting for just the right moment to pass a note.
SFGARY — Here’s a cocktail. Once you are a little drunk, you’ll have more nerve talking to the hot women who hang out here at the bar. It works for me.
I don’t think that I’m really lurking — but then again…
I’m David and my interest is communication (mass media). I’m taking a year-long trip and testing the utility of seven media channels: blog; newspaper column; online forum; map room; photo gallery; podcasts; and radio.
Take a look — and leave a comment, if you aren’t a lurker…
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I’m not a lurker, I’m still laughing about the David Sedaris link. I’d be bidding right now, but hey, you’re in CA and it would seem a waste of cash not to actually win.
I do not lurk. Lurking is a heinous activity, like skulking or reading the National Enquirer with your socks on, and ought to be punishable by several years in prison or North Bergenfield, New Jersey, whichever comes first. I peruse the day’s offering, and if I feel motivated enough, I will make a comment, and if not, I do not. Motivation depends on a great many things, such as do I feel like making the mental effort and the price of gasoline on any given day of the week. But lurking? No, there’s none of that here.
I will proudly leave a comment on my very first visit. I never understand people who say they are afraid to comment. What exactly are they afraid of? Public ridicule? Taunting? Being exposed as a poor speller? Or perhaps some combination of the above? I will have to issue the delurker challenge on my own blog since no one EVER comments!!
They’re rather outdated, (and I’m late, and I’m an outsider), but you may enjoy my tits here.