the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Oral Fixation

  

PRIVATE CHAT ROOM, 2AM

HOTDAVE23:  Mmmm… U R HOT… cough…  What are U… cough cough… wearing now?

2SEXYJUDY:  Just my… cough cough… sexiest… cough cough… THONG…

HOTDAVE23:  Wow…cough… R U as… cough .. TURNED ON as… cough…  I am?

2SEXYJUDY:  U make me so… cough cough… WET.   I want your BIG… cough… HARD… cough… whoops, I dropped the.. cough… damn… cough… ashtray into my… cough cough… daughter's crib… BRB

Conversation overheard at DatingforSmokers.com. 

34 Comments

  1. Dagny

    Hmmmm. I don’t recall ever coughing, or at least not that much.

  2. Fitèna

    LOL! I love this! Where do you get the inspiration from!?

    Fitèna

  3. jackt

    I dunno about the oral fixation. I am fixated on the pic. I need to get out more.

  4. Wenchy

    *cough* that was funny.

  5. ChickyBabe

    I think I need a ciggie after this!

  6. mariemm3

    I’m imagining a wheeze and an inhaler in there somehwere… oops that’s dating for old smokers.

    You’re too funny!

  7. justrun

    Yuck. For several reasons.

  8. MA

    How can she smoke and stand in those heels?

  9. Pearl

    And if a couple meets on DatingForSmokers.com, date for a while, then break up, do they ever try to “patch” things up?

  10. Scarlet

    Aren’t you supposed to smoke AFTER the deed?

  11. scott

    You’re a Cancer?! Wow! Me too!

    Hello, Neil.

  12. disillusive

    hey scott why do u write “hello neil” at the end of every comment? just wondering lol.

  13. scott

    They think it’s a tumor, Disillusive.

  14. bettyonthebeach

    So glad I quit smoking years ago. Couldn’t imagine kissing a smoker – icky.

  15. 3rdtimesacharm( 3T )

    ROFLMAO!!! Damn, I have to quit smoking!
    *giggling* Where DO you come up with this stuff?!

    3T

  16. Neil

    Note to readers: This piece is written for the American market, which is vehemently anti-smoking, so much so that you can’t smoke anymore on many California beaches! This is not intended as a commentary against my kind-hearted European, Asian, and Israeli readers who still enjoy the art of smoking a cigarette. When you smoke, it is still very sexy. Cough.

  17. Melissa

    Little is sexier than a man with a great big oxygen bottle…

  18. stephanie

    yeah, yeah, yeah…

    i got my smoking donkey today.

    guess i’m not quitting anytime soon.

  19. AWE

    I think I went out with her once.

  20. Jacynth

    Do you think she had one of those holes in her throat? I think that’s the nastiest image: smoking out of one of those. UGH! I must go vomit now.

  21. treespotter

    so you call yourself hotdave23?

  22. Tatyana

    Neil, have you been hiding behind my curtains 2 weeks ago, during a friendly visit by a mutual acquaintance/blogger?

  23. party girl

    that’s so hot….

  24. better safe than sorry

    never smoked and after seeing that pic, i’m not about too, a little too “hot” for me.

  25. Lauren

    I wonder if this post would be as charming if it were http://www.heroineaddixdating.com

    Just a thought.

    Nicotine Kisses.

  26. Elisabeth

    If there is anything sexy about that babe – I truly can’t find it, even though she’s got all the trappings. And if she’s a man’s fantasy, yikes, I’ll never ever meet that standard (I bet she doesn’t have a PhD! Ok – maybe she does. Bitch!)

    If I were 100% assured that smoking is not bad for you, I would go out right now and buy a pack of cigarettes – and there’s nothing better than those French cigarettes, I guarantee you! But I gave it up for good a while back, and I’m not about to start again.

  27. helen

    Hi Neil!!!

    I quit last year and I think I’m enjoying life more!

  28. Leah

    It’s just like licking an ashtray.

    As they say…

  29. Nancy

    Cough. Anyone see that flick “Thank you for Smoking?”

    I haven’t either.

    Cough.

  30. Dustin

    Ashtray in my daughters crib…Oh.Dear.Lord.

  31. Desireous

    Oh my! I’m so glad I don’t smoke any more!

    Hugs
    Des

  32. idonothingallday

    smoking sucks (well tobacco, at least)

    i remember in college hooking up with smokers, freaking gross tasting

    i love these no smoking indoors laws

  33. Patns

    I forgot what I was going to say because I’m too busy smoking.

  34. silver jewellery store

    What an inspiring blog you wrote! I totally like the useful info shared in the blog.jewelry has become the hot fashion in the modern trend.

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