Crime and Punishment

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For every crime, there is a punishment. 

All has been resolved.  The post that "mysteriously disappeared" is back up. 

But the punishment was severe and costly, and required me to spend my entire Saturday standing around shoe stores and nodding about how "nice they look."

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26 Responses to Crime and Punishment

  1. danielle says:

    I thought you liked being punished.

  2. Dude, you married a Russian. What did you expect?

    (For the record, I totally just wrote that comment so I could call you “dude”.)

  3. bella says:

    ohhh… ‘fuck me pumps’! That’s not punishment

  4. kimananda says:

    I suppose bringing a book to look at in between nods of approval would have been out of the question?

  5. Edgy Mama says:

    You know you deserved it.

    BTW, when I’m next in LA, mind if I have lunch with Sophia?

  6. Wendy says:

    How could shoe shopping ever be considered punishment!?

  7. Dagny says:

    I am with Wendy. Shoe shopping is never punishment; it is a reward.

  8. Neil says:

    Bra shopping is a reward. Shoe shopping is torture.

  9. Rabbit says:

    We have an agreement. I won’t drag him shoe shopping (honestly, I loathe shopping and never go myself anyway) and he may not ask me to accompany him to Home Depot. I do enjoy lingerie shopping though, and he’s welcome to come along to help if he wants.

  10. Neil says:

    For me, getting dragged to Home Depot is even worse than shoe shopping — because that means someone is going to want me to actually DO something around the house other than blog.

    My favorites: bookstores, music stores, 99 cent-only stores, computer stores, consumer electronic stories, supermarkets, newstands, and men’s hat stores (although I’ve never actually bought a hat in one).

    Question: Why does shopping with a woman take ten times longer than it does with a male friend?

  11. femmedespoir says:

    my idea of shopping? lingerie and books! and perhaps some f’me pumps for good measure.

    youse so funny!

  12. femmedespoir says:

    by the way, just do like my fellow does and make sure you station yourself close to the f’me pumps, NOT the granny shoes. that way, at least you’re bound to see some nice gams while you bide your time.

  13. justrun says:

    I’m betting you probably knew the punishment before you even committed the crime.

  14. Sandra says:

    Is that better or worse than water torture?

  15. Bre says:

    You say “punishment” I say “heaven”

  16. Trixie says:

    Shoe shopping? Punishment? I don’t get it. ;)

  17. ashbloem says:

    I hate shopping so much. Thank goodness I’m not a man involved with a woman who likes to shop. I’d rip my own eyes out, but not before I set the mall on fire.

  18. Scarlet says:

    I hate shopping with other people. And shoe shopping IS the worst. Although so is bra shopping-NO I DO NOT WANT TO BE MEASURED!

  19. mernitman says:

    in answer to your question, think: is there any other activity that generally takes a woman 10 times longer to achieve than a man? i.e. the word “shoegasm” mean anything to you?

  20. Heather B. says:

    I recently got a talking to from a family member about an innocent (or so I thought) post I wrote a month ago. I wish that my punishment had been shoe shopping.

  21. Melissa says:

    Shoe shopping is all in how you approach it. You get to see your girl wearing something beautiful, she’ll show you lots of leg – the legs you love having wrapped around you – and if you buy her the fabulous, sexy shoes she loves, she might just leave them on for the next hot, sweaty session in the bedroom. How is that not a win, win situation?

  22. Kevin says:

    I thank God every day that I have a wife who despises shopping. She only does it when she needs to. And she hates malls with a passion. So not your standard girly girl.

  23. party girl says:

    Man, as much as I love shoes and as much as I love shopping for shoes, I would never, ever subject my man to that.

    You musta been very bad. Very, very bad.

  24. Leah says:

    You’re a good man Neil. Gooood man!

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