Last night, Sophia and I attended a blogger-meetup, greeting Psychotoddler and Mrs. Balabusta, who were visiting L.A. from snowy Milwaukee. Since the Psychotoddler family is kosher, we met at a kosher Chinese restaurant on Pico Blvd. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be (although note to restaurant: please hire someone who knows how to make sushi. That was NOT sushi, kosher or not). Also attending the event were Dr. Bean, ball-and-chain, Brett of DadTalk, and Anne of Inland Empress.
There were spirited conversations about many things, including integrity and truth-telling when writing blog posts. The group was extremely intelligent, which, of course, made me think about my blog post for that day, which was about a “Cock Shaker.” So, I’m glad to be back here with so many of my other blogger friends who are as dumb and unsophisticated as I am.
Despite my lack of sophistication, the issue of “integrity in blogging” has been weighing on my mind today. You see, in my last post, there were quite a few joking comments about the Olive Garden chain. Although I didn’t say so directly, I insinuated in my post that I didn’t like Olive Garden. The truth is : I’ve never been to Olive Garden. I’m like the movie reviewer who gives the film “three thumbs up,” but never bothered to see the flick.
In all honesty, I just don’t like those chain restaurants — at least the ones that I have actually gone to. To give you a better understanding of my feelings, I’ve created a list of chain restaurants, in order of my hatred of the chain, from least to greatest:
The Cheesecake Factory
Denny’s
Coco’s
El Torito
TGI Friday’s
Chili’s
Souplantation
Bennigan’s
Outback Steakhouse
Fuddrucker’s
Benihana
Applebee’s
Red Lobster
Pizza Hut
Today, I called Sophia.
“Sophia, I’m taking you to lunch.”
“OK, where to?”
“Olive Garden.”
Silence.
I explained how I owed it to my readers to learn the truth about the Olive Garden, especially if I’m ever going to mention it again. So, I picked Sophia up and we drove to Olive Garden near the Del Amo Mall.
We were surprised to find such a long line for such an uninspiring place. Why were so many people here? Los Angeles has tons of excellent REAL restaurants. Maybe we were missing out on something. Maybe people were just suckers for those stupid commercials where the guy brings his authentic Italian mama to Olive Garden, and she loves it. Loves it!
Inside the restaurant, the decor was anything but “authentic.” There were some badly drawn paintings of the Italian countryside on the wall, and few bottles of Chianti were propped up here and there. “Benvenuto!” was written on the wall in the waiting area. The restaurant staff was not very authentic either, more Redondo Beach High School than Tuscany High School.
We were told that there would be a ten minute wait. This seemed a little bull-shitty, since there were seven other families waiting in front of us. Afterwards, another couple was also told that their wait would be “ten minutes.”
“How could this be?” I asked Sophia. “This made no sense. Do they just tell everyone that the wait is ten minutes? And if our wait is ten minutes, and they came after us, shouldn’t their wait be at least eleven minutes?”
Sophia and I were given this large black beeper contraption that was supposed to go crazy with lights and special effects when our table was ready.
Time passed. Twenty minutes. Sophia and I revealed to each other that we spent the morning snacking and neither of us were too hungry. But it was too late to turn back. I had to learn the truth about the elusive Olive Garden.
BRRRINGBRRRRING!
My hand vibrated as if I had just pulled the trigger of a 45 caliber pistol. The beeper was sending us a message: It was TIME for our reconnaissance meal.
Some girl in the Olive Garden uniform, but wearing USC socks (!) took us to our cozy table, nestled comfortably next to a large obnoxious family celebrating some bratty boy’s birthday. Before we even had a chance to open a menu, Miss USC wanted to know if we wanted anything to drink.
“We serve real Italian wine.”
We said we just wanted water. She looked disappointed, as if we had just rejected her from admittance to our sorority.
Sophia and I looked over to the birthday table to check out the food they were eating. Bland pastas, boring pizzas. Nothing looked very exciting. We were also surprised that the menu was more expensive than we expected, considering it was a “family” restaurant.
“It’s cheaper to just go to the real Italian restaurant on Torrance Boulevard.”
“I guess we’re paying for the ambiance.”
We laughed as the family started singing “Happy Birthday” to the bratty boy.
“Since we’re not too hungry, maybe we can share something.”
As I perused the attractive, flowery-designed menu, I noticed something interesting. For six bucks, you can have as much soup as you want, with three different choices of soup. For another six bucks, you can get an unlimited amount of Olive Garden’s special salad.
“Sounds good,” said Sophia. We can get one unlimited soup and one unlimited salad, and we can share it. They even give you unlimited breadsticks. I think I’m beginning to like this place.”
“Sophia, I don’t think you understand. Each unlimited soup and each unlimited salad is for one person only.”
“What do they care if we share it?”
“Because then what’s to stop ten people from coming in here and ordering one unlimited soup and one unlimited salad and just sharing it all together.”
“That’s ridiculous. Besides, it doesn’t say anywhere, “no sharing.”"
“Olive Garden cannot stay in business if everyone shares the same unlimited soup.”
“The place is jammed. They’re making a fortune. No one cares if we share the soup. We’re only two people. How much soup and salad can we eat?”
“It’s stealing. It’s like downloading illegal music.”
“You download illegal music all the time.”
“That’s different. “They see you here doing it. No one sees you at home downloading music.”
“Oh, so if they don’t see you stealing it’s not a crime. You’re some “citizen” of the month!”
“I won’t download anymore music. Is that better?”
“I don’t care. Look, if you’re going to be such a stick in the mud, we’ll each get our own unlimited soup.”
“Fine, that’s best.
“But I don’t care what you say. We’re just getting one salad, I can never finish half of it.”
We ordered our meal. The waitress seemed pissed that we were such cheapo customers, and assumed she was going to get a small tip. We each ate three bowls of soup. But I wouldn’t touch the salad, which only made Sophia act like more of a temptress.
“Try it. Just take a bite.”
“No”
“Stop being such a wimp.”
Which was the exact same thing Eve told Adam.
“OK, I’ll try it. Just a second. Wait…. OK..”
I tried the salad. Sophia shook her head in disbelief.
“Did you just wait until the waitress walked away before you ate one tiny piece of lettuce, so she wouldn’t see you eating it?”
“No.”
“Yes you did!”
“Fine. I don’t like to be humiliated. What if she said something. What if a spotlight went on us and voice came on saying: “Look over here everyone. This couple is stealing an unlimited salad because they were too cheap to order two unlimited salads like they were supposed to.”"
“You need help. Serious help. Why don’t you blog about THIS tonight?”
“About what?”
“About how you were afraid of eating the salad because the nineteeen year old waitress might see you and look down at you?”
“I’m not going to do that.”
“Wimp.”
HAPPY NOW, SOPHIA?
By the way, the soup and salad (we never finished out first bowl of salad) at Olive Garden were pretty good.
So, here’s my revised list:
The Cheesecake Factory
Olive Garden
Denny’s
Coco’s
El Torito
TGI Friday’s
Chili’s
Souplantation
Bennigan’s
Outback Steakhouse
Fuddrucker’s
Benihana
Applebee’s
Red Lobster
Pizza Hut
Today on Blogebrity: As the Blog Turns
Waiters/waitresses seriously need a wake up call. So you make $3 an hr before tips. Lets say you get $7 an hour in tips (which i’m positive any waiter can surpass), you are now making $10 an hour gross, like any normal sales associate or beginner employee here in NYC. What the hell do you expect to get an hour total? a whopping $20-50 gross. Get Real! You would be then making more then someone interning at an actual high end business company. Waiters need to think realisticly on their tips. So you make a $2tip an hour from one stingy table, im pretty sure you’ll make it up through the other tables within that one same hour. And if not, so you make less one hour but make a crazy amount the next hour. Like I said early, all you need is $7 an hour in tips to be making what an average person is making in NYC. It all evens out day by day. At the end of the week, I am pretty sure you would have made what you could be making at any other job. Everyone works hard, not just waiters. You don’t deserve any more than anybody else. Let me make one more point…
I don’t really understand why we tip waiters anyway. You actually don’t even have to legally if your waiter wasn’t of good service. So you better sprucen up if you do want your 15-20% tip. (20% really being in really upper class restaurants or to be really nice and appreciative) (so why are you even expecting 20%?) Anyways, do we Americans tip regulare sale associates at shopping centers? running back and forth helping customers, cleaning up the messes they make, putting everything back where they belong. The answer is NO! So what makes a waiter work any harder than a reg. sales associate. Therefore I understand and believe waiters technically need their tips since they do only get min wage to begin with, but don’t expect heavy tips from customers in this economy. Don’t expect everyone to go balls out ordering $20 meal per person. Get a new job if you’re going to come home and complain everyday about it. And do the math ahead of time.. Average out what you think you should make an hour e.i $10/hr X the amount of hours you worked a whole week. That is your gross amount. If you match that amount at the end of the week with tip and wage included. Then BE HAPPY, you just made a normal person’s average salary your age.
Lily posted What Mario Lopez Taught Me About The Five Emotional Stages Of Divorce
That was the dumbest comment ever made. My girlfriend made a total of $17 in a period of six hours the other night, because of stupid people like you. TIP YOUR SERVER.
It’s even worse at olive garden. You get endless soup and salad, and breadsticks. They are making endless trips for your food. The cheapest meal is the most work, and they get the worst tips. It is a terrible set up for the servers, and then people like this come along and stiff her. Even though, she is always respectful and nice to customers, despite their stupidity. Her mangers, are even worse.
THANK YOU! I am actually a server at The Olive Garden and you are absolutely right. I give my absolute all to serving my guests and it’s almost a personal hit when they leave 2 dollars on 50, and you can never make it up if everyone thinks like the first post in this thread. One of our best servers walked with 70 dollars last night AND SHE HAD 1,000 IN SALES! She should have walked with AT LEAST 150. It’s really sad sometimes, because it is hard work.
Your comments are extremely ignorant, I understand some of the things you said…but you need to walk in a waitors shoes before you ever generalize all of them into a category of lazy people who only complain. I’m hoping that I never run into your snide ass in a restaurant. I notice that people like you who assume things about your servers also seem to be the ones that expect them to be empathetic and understanding to you when you act like a snobbish asshole and to understand where you are coming from. Many people wait tables to make enough money to move on with their lives and move ahead from a sad past of poverty and no opportunity- and then get assholes treating them like shit from the beginning who are going to be unhappy no matter how much the server slaves away over making them happy- and no matter what will undertip them. Before you expect waitors to ‘wake up’ or whatever other ignorant bullshit you’ve spewed; why don’t you consider having a little empathy for the servers, since, you know- they should have some for you and your frugal-penny pinching ways. Anyways, fuck you, whatever, I’m done.
Wow that was so stupid. Servers go back and forth non stop bringing customers whatever they ask for and get treated like shit and still keep a smile so they dont offend you with their “your a cock sucker” facial expression. When customers such as yourself send the server back to the kitchen to get ONE ITEM at a time, the other tables service sufferes and not only does the server get a shitty tip from you but now you caused the other tables to tip shitty aswell. to top it off the server will more than likely clean up your table when your done, all the slop you combined, all the crap your children spill on the table and floor. There is so much more to serving than you obviously know. Oh and just so your ignorant ass knows…..a tip is not intended to be a compliment of their service, its not supposed to be you deciding whether they were good enough to deserve it. TIPS means To Insure Proper Service and is supposed to be given at the beginning of the meal- try that next time and see how wonderful your service is. better yet, dont eat out because you suck and no one should have to help you.
Being a server is living in the reality that is filled with people like you. For you information I make $2.13 and hour, I do not receive a paycheck ever, and sometimes I work for four hours and walk out with twenty dollars or less because of people exactly like you. Yes, I do have my good nights when I make ten dollars an hour, but if you only knew how hard I had to bust my butt, the kissing up I do to snotty people who don’t care how they treat me (I am NOT a servant I am a waiter do not snap at me do not just hand me things and expect me to know what you want me to do with it), etc. There is so much more that we do than fill your salad or soup or drink. We do far more than a sales associate. We are the reason the restaurant runs. We are responsible for filling, refilling in the kitchen, stocking, lifting, moving, running, endlessly walking, pleasing, cleaning up after YOUR kids, sometimes never sitting for more than 9 hours, and all so we can make your dining experience for 60-90 minutes pleasurable before you leave us a $2 tip. And you’re right in this economy it is difficult to expect a larger tip. However, if you can afford to come in, buy numerous appetizers, wine, higher priced entrees, desserts, and after dinner drinks, and then tip me 15%, I don’t want to hear ANYTHING about economy. It’s selfishness. It’s not giving a damn. It’s thinking you can get away with it because after all you’ll never see me again right? But who am I kidding? You’ll never care anyway. You are so extremely frustrating it makes me angry going into work tonight knowing I’ll meet a dozen people just like you. So I need a wake up call?! Sprucen my rear end dirtbag.
You know you’re really stupid. That’s all I can say this is really sad shouldn’t be a blog at all.
Olive Garden’s deal is now $6 for unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks for two people, just fyi.
No it’s not. It’s $6 a person. If you share a salad or a soup, then you will be charged for a refill. just ya know, fyi. So don’t bring someone in and order one order of soup salad and breadsticks for the two of you. It won’t work.
as an ex-olive garden employee I can personally tell you that the motto (when your here your family) is complete total bulls–t,the managers and even regional managers constantly bully,intimidate,discriminate (AGE)and (gender),harass, and generally treat thir employees like bad dogs!They are supposed tohave another motto which is who you are matters. another lie!!if older people ,handicapped people, overweight people knew what most employees knew what was said about them behind their backs it could be aon a national tv show such as 60 minutes!the other things that go on are also just as bad too!.drug dealing cooks.employees smoking crack in the bathrooms, sexual harassment to both male and female, male managers attempting to coerce females into uncomfortable situations,racist ,and sexual comments by managers
YESS, my girlfriend experiences at least most of these. She put in her two weeks a few days ago.. I’m so happy.
Number one, to the know it all about how much servers make….we dont get $3 an hour…oh wait we dont even get a paycheck because of our taxes! Number two you can’t afford to go out and tip your server then don’t go out at all! Pathetic is what you are and the next time you want to act like you know everything try stepping in a servers shoes!! Rude customers such as your self, sloppy, and absolutely disgusting!
Servers clean your mess up when you leave trash all over the floor….learn table manners sweet heart. When you have to put up with customers that sit there and tell you to your face there going to a bitch to you because they know everything like you do, of course you don’t want to serve them….but we have to make money to and some of us can’t afford to lose our jobs and say what we really want to say. Customers like you are the reason you get bad service in the first place…when you’ve been working in resteraunts for so long you know who’s going to tip well and who isn’t. We’re just like everyone else, tryin to pay our bills except we go through more than you can obviously ever handle…next time you want to bash bring your A game before you start spittin out words
I generally think Olive Garden is a decent restaurant when I’m looking for some cheap, good pasta. Olive Garden has amazing deals/prices…. my entrees can generally come out to be less than $10, and you can get unlimited soup and salad. Not to mention the food is great. You were complaining about the tiniest things in this blog post. Sounded like a spoiled brat. You must be extremely picky or neurotic.
Wow, I cant believe this post. I have worked at Olive Garden the past 3 years. I am also attending college. This is the best company I have worked for in my years (mind this: don’t get me wrong, I am in my twenties so not a ton of experience at many other jobs.) I have the greatest management and awesome caring coworkers. We were are all like a family. As for the comment on drugs, could just be that particular restaurant. We dont have anything like this going on. Only hard working caring individuals. Also, for the comment on the unlimited soup and salads, I do 10 times the work for a table and have just learned to expect a low tip because of the low bill. I’m used to it. Please realize people though that we do bust our butts, it is high stress job compared to something like a retail sales..(Trust me I know) We have to put up with the rudest people and a crazy FAST paced environment. We do our best and put on a smile. I do have to say, I take a lot of pride in giving a table the best service they could receive, you go out to eat to avoid cooking or just relax. I enjoy making peoples evening. All in all, Don’t bash hard working people.
Actually let me properly correct my rant..Lets start paying servers min wage or a touch more.. YOU DUMBASS will end up paying MUCH more per entree to cover the costs…MORE THAN YOUR 15-20% tips when it comes down to each meal..You would expect a 30% increase in EACH ENTREE YOU ORDER….. JUST THINK ABOUT THAT IDIOT. LETS THINK ABOUT THIS… LETS STOP paying 2.13 to servers and start paying 7.25 THATS OVER 200% increase in hourly to EACH EMPLOYEE…SO EACH ENTREE WOULD HAVE TO INCREASE BY AT LEAST 30-40% to COVER COSTS>…OH YEAH GENIUS…….TIPS ARE A PRIVILEGE FOR THE CONSUMER!!!!! THINK ABOUT THAT…TIP OR PAY MUCH MORE TO EAT OUT… I DO AGREE ON THE BAD SERVICE…IF THEY SUCK, THEY DESERVE IT!!
Servers: If you don’t like your job, then change it. But if your service sucks, expect 3 pennies on the table. If it REALLY sucks, I’ll put the .03¢ on the credit card.
I’ve rarely felt the need to do that, but a tip is a bonus, not a given. And yes, I’m well aware of the laws that allow employers to deduct tips from minimum wage. The reason they get away with it is because you let them, by working there. Work elsewhere, if you feel it’s unfair, for an employer that pays minimum wage or better.
Jeff, Take a **** and stuff it in your mouth… I hope you dont go out to eat…I bet you are one of the people that get amazing service and still tip horribly…
ALSO THEY DONT DEDUCT TIPS FROM MIN. WAGE… WE MAKE 2.13 and HOUR SO TIPS ARE NOT BONUS>>>>>>THE 2.13 and HOUR WE MAKE DOESNT EVEN COVER TAXES>>>WE PAY IN A LOT AT THE END OF THE YEAR>.. I PAID ALMOST 1500 ADDITIONAL IN FEDERAL TAXES…I WORK HARD AND PAY MY TAXES LEARN YOUR FACTS….BTW I AM ABOUT TO GRADUATE AS AN ACCOUNTANT. (TAX FIELD) I KNOW THE LAWS IDIOT!
A tip is not a bonus dumbass it’s my only form of payment idiot. No paycheck, no tip equals no money. Bonus lmao get outta here.
If a tip is a bonus then where the hell is my given? If I give good service and have to count on you for my “bonus” then I’m screwed. You’re worse than that Lily chick. Ughh I pitty the server that has to kiss your ass.
First of all I work at olive garden and what you wrote us truly false. You can get soup and salad combo for 6.95 at lunch and 9.95 for dinner and if you can’t afford that then don’t go out to eat and sharing is ridiculous because the portions are per person so adjust your stupid blog and do not go back
You sure sound like annoying, pretentious, stick in the ass person. Glad not to have the misfortune of knowing someone like yourself.
I am a server myself.
Expect what you work for. If you are a GOOD server you will make ABOVE minimum wage. If you are an EXCELLENT server, you will do much better. Impress every single table that comes in, and you will find that one big tip of the night. It’s a number’s game people, wake up. So what. You left their drink empty for 10 minutes and expect a really good tip? No. 15% is guideline, not mandatory.
Be a good server and you can make $10-$15 an hour. At a higher end establishment, you can make a lot more. If you are as good as you think you are, apply for the higher end places. I was making on average $30 an hour before I moved. It was a high end place though.
Wake up.
You have all just made my decision for me. I feel sorry for the people that get stuck, and I do mean stuck and not too lazy to look for real work, working for tips. The food places like Olive Garden are no better than a McDonalds. If you want good service at a decent price with people who actually get a decent wage… Don’t go out. I rarely tip well. I, myself, have a low paying job, but the mental benefits of serving the public to help them are worth way more. I wish I knew exactly which restaurants pay their employees by tips because I would never go to them. The writer of this blog I would have to say is quite the snob, though. I’m sorry, but some of the crap he wrote just made me sick to my stomach. I share with my family at every meal we go out just because we can barely afford it, but like to get out and not have to cook at a decent place with good food. The places that sell “Great” food tend to, in my opinion, have the WORST food, most overly priced and snobs for waitresses/waiters. The way they look at you, too, when you walk in with your family and you can barely afford to give a mediocre tip disgusts me, hence the reason I don’t go to them. The places without waiters and waitresses serve just as good of food as these pricey restaurants. Not only that, but damn, don’t bring any kids because most people that are sitting in them are just as big of snobs as the help. It’s a sin to have a kid that doesn’t act like they’ve been beaten severely into submission. I was looking for a nice place to get together with a friend I haven’t spent time with in forever and I now know I don’t want to go anywhere with a waiter or waitress involved. As for all the people who enjoy being waited on, happy for you. If you can afford to go hang out at a place that may have people who are only nice to you to get a buck, kudos. I, myself, want nothing to do with it. I would rather go to a backhills truck stop with people that treat you like one of the family because they were raised to not judge people by their pocketbook. As for the rest of you speaking here, some of you have good points. I agree with a lot of points on here. Even the guy in the first reply on here. There are two sides to every story and no matter where you go you still run into snobs. Just do me a favor and stay out of my path, cuz I want nothing to do with it.
Everyone has their opinion.
Do you really want to mess with the people who bring you YOUR FOOD? Idiot.