Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Handy Guide for Man-Shopping

My women friends tell me that Home Depot is a better place to meet single men than any bar.  It seems men just love to talk to a pretty woman about tools.

Now, Wal-Mart is getting into the singles scene. (via Martinis, Persistence, and a Smile)

At at least one store in the United States and throughout Germany, Wal-Mart stores are hosting weekly singles nights, where shoppers looking for romance tie a red ribbon to their carts as they browse for laundry detergent, loofahs and, yes, love.

wal2.jpg

So, are retail stores the next Match.com?

As a public service to single women everywhere, here is a handy guide to the five major types of  men and which store to find him in.

Citizen of the Month’s Guide to Men and their Stores

Mr. Dependable

Dependable, loyal, trustworthy, gives practical gifts like a blender for birthday, always pay their bills on time, dull as dishwater, no sense of humor

(store:  Sears)

Mr. Entrepreneur

Corporate, assertive, workaholic, Ivy Leaguer, big spender, unromantic, will sleep with secretary

(store:  Hammacher Schlemmer)

Mr. Self-Made Man

Runs successful blue-collar business, fights for success despite limited education, more comfortable with buddies than women, drunkard

(store:  Home Depot)

Mr. Power Broker

Extremely wealthy, gives his woman the finest things in life, ruthless, opportunist, frequently short and unattractive, sees wife as trophy, lousy in bed

(store:  Neiman-Marcus)

Mr. Artist

Creative, humorous, artsy major in college, intelligent, caring lover, financially hopeless, limited prospects, neurotic, mamma’s boy

(store:  independent coffee bar, not Starbucks)

Ladies, good luck!

6 Comments

  1. When Target starts doing that, I am so there!

  2. I’ll meet you in linens.

  3. What about a guide to meeting women?

  4. Sorry, I don’t understand them at all. Anyone up for the job?

  5. Yeah…but if she’s wearing terrycloth shorts you need to run screaming in the other direction.

  6. *sigh*

    So, I married Mr. Artist…

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