Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Tag: singles

A New Hobby

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A few weeks ago, Jenny wrote this on her blog;

So what do you do with yourself when you stop looking for love? I realized recently that I have spent so much time as a single person looking for love, that I’ll need to take a up a new hobby when I finally do find it.

Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, I laughed for ten minutes after reading that.  Don’t you realize the trouble hasn’t begun UNTIL you meet someone to love?   Your relationship will be your "hobby."

Most of us learn about love from books and movies.

In a movie, the story usually ends when the couple kisses at the altar.

In the real world, we each walk around with our own personal movie projecting in our head.  In each movie, we are our own star.  Most of the hard work in any relationship revolves around this problem.  How do you make sure that you are both in the same movie?  Are you equal co-stars?  Do you both have the same size trailer?

Like most bloggers and writers, I enjoy sitting down by myself and making things up.  I am usually my own main character.  In the movie in my mind, I am the hero — a little bit of James Stewart, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, and Viggo Mortensen.   I make jokes, I flirt with women, I hang out with the guys, I save the day from the bad guys.

I thought I reached my final goal when I married Sophia.  Like Jenny, I figured there was nothing more to worry about.  I was the luckiest guy in the world.  I met Sophia —  someone so beautiful and fun.  Someone who actually agreed to marry a klutz like me!

But it took a while for me to realize that Sophia had her own movie in her head.  And she was the heroine in her movie — a little bit of Lucille Ball, Sophia Loren, Lauren Bacall, and Angelina Jolie. 

There is always trouble brewing when a couple is not in the same movie. 

At the top, is a photo from our wedding.  Can you tell who is the star of this movie?   The photographer surely did.  Every other photo has Sophia front and center, and all you see of me is my back and yarmulke.    Sophia and I always joked that if she ever remarried, she could just keep the same pictures and say this is her new husband.  And I won’t even mention the fact that I was propped up in front of a piano I can’t play at all.   Can you see some of the issues that we ended up having to deal with?

Here’s another photo from our wedding.  A beautiful, sexy woman.  A generic guy with a nice yarmulke.

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So, Jenny, don’t worry about needing a new hobby after you fall in love.  Trust me — you’ll be busy enough.

Los Angeles Social Scene

I’ve been getting emails from L7, “a social and networking scene” in Los Angeles.  It might be of interest to  those looking for a new way to meet people in this “hard-to-meet-people” city.  I’ve never been to any of their events.  Have any of my LA readers?

From their website:

Our scene brings together young professionals from a cross-section of industries to experience what Los Angeles has to offer: cocktail networking or dinner parties, wine tasting, cultural events, adventure games, yacht parties and more. Many have told us our simple concept is exactly what they are looking for. “L7 brings together people, culture, aesthetics, music, restaurants and style without the usual LA attitude.”

L7 has an email list that supposedly consists of more than 13,000 people.

Here’s a photo from their last event at LACMA.

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(photo via L7scene.com)

Wouldn’t you like to meet them?  — Josh, a web designer from Pasadena… Jenn, a Warner Brothers P.R. assistant from West Hollywood… Tracey, an actress from Santa Monica… and Moira, a real estate attorney from Manhattan Beach.

OK, I made up all those names and their jobs, but they look like the cool Los Angeles people everyone wants to meet.

Except me.

Handy Guide for Man-Shopping

My women friends tell me that Home Depot is a better place to meet single men than any bar.  It seems men just love to talk to a pretty woman about tools.

Now, Wal-Mart is getting into the singles scene. (via Martinis, Persistence, and a Smile)

At at least one store in the United States and throughout Germany, Wal-Mart stores are hosting weekly singles nights, where shoppers looking for romance tie a red ribbon to their carts as they browse for laundry detergent, loofahs and, yes, love.

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So, are retail stores the next Match.com?

As a public service to single women everywhere, here is a handy guide to the five major types of  men and which store to find him in.

Citizen of the Month’s Guide to Men and their Stores

Mr. Dependable

Dependable, loyal, trustworthy, gives practical gifts like a blender for birthday, always pay their bills on time, dull as dishwater, no sense of humor

(store:  Sears)

Mr. Entrepreneur

Corporate, assertive, workaholic, Ivy Leaguer, big spender, unromantic, will sleep with secretary

(store:  Hammacher Schlemmer)

Mr. Self-Made Man

Runs successful blue-collar business, fights for success despite limited education, more comfortable with buddies than women, drunkard

(store:  Home Depot)

Mr. Power Broker

Extremely wealthy, gives his woman the finest things in life, ruthless, opportunist, frequently short and unattractive, sees wife as trophy, lousy in bed

(store:  Neiman-Marcus)

Mr. Artist

Creative, humorous, artsy major in college, intelligent, caring lover, financially hopeless, limited prospects, neurotic, mamma’s boy

(store:  independent coffee bar, not Starbucks)

Ladies, good luck!

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