the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Holiday Concert Sign-Up Sheet

photo by Kirida

David the Jewish Reindeer
Had a very Jewish nose
All of the other reindeer
Used to think of themselves as foes

David the Jewish Reindeer
Kvetched about his daily woes
He couldn’t get no p***y
Even from the reindeer hoes

Then one icy Christmas Eve
Santa screwed it up
Forgot about the holiday
Too much bourbon in his cup

David the Jewish Reindeer
Scratched and scratched his Jewish ‘fro
“Hey, I have the perfect idea.
Let’s put on a blogger show.”

Let’s make it for Jew and Gentile
Black and white, all one voice
So, when it’s time for lovin’
We’ll have a multi-cultural choice

Santa clapped and said, “That’s brilliant.”
Giving him a big wet kiss
If we can elect a black President
Why not have a reindeer with a bris?

All of the reindeer laughed now
Everywhere the bells did ring
Cause it was getting time now for
The Christmahanukwanzaakah Blogger Online Holiday Sing!


The 2006  Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert

The 2007  Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert

The 2008  Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert will be on December 23, 2008.

It is simple.  You record a song or video and email it to me before the concert day.  Your kids can sing along with you, BUT you — the blogger — must sing along or play an instrument.      We want to be impressed by YOU, not by the daughter you are forcing to take piano lessons against her will.

Poetry, story readings, and interpretative dance performances are also permitted.

Just so everyone doesn’t do the same Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa song, please sign up on the list below, stating your song, if you have decided on one.  Of course, there will be duplicates, but let’s try not to have ten “Silent Nights.”

For those too wimpy to sing, please send me a favorite holiday photo so we can decorate the blog post that day.

Be of Good Cheer!

OK, enough promotional stuff for one weekend.   Sorry about that.   It’s part of the job.

Back to blogging tomorrow.


  1. saucybritches

    I’ll be performing “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas” with my husband Tim on piano. 🙂

  2. Otir

    Since I can’t possibly do the same every year, I’ll sign up for Hayo, Haya.

  3. Postmodern Sass

    Not to be a Scrooge, but all this cuteness makes my teeth ache. I miss your real writing.

  4. torrie

    I’m going to do Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. (I’m such a good Jew.)

  5. torrie

    Damn. I just saw that someone else is doing it. I guess I’ll do Silent Night.

  6. abbersnail

    Hmmm… I think I will be providing a version of The Little Drummer Boy.

  7. ingrid

    i’ll do something. i don’t know what yet. it will involve me playing the piano and maybe singing… but i don’t know what yet.

  8. Mrs. G.

    Certifiable I tell you.

  9. Memarie Lane

    I’m nabbing the dreidel song. we’re not jewish but my kids love it.

  10. whoorl


  11. maitresse

    I’ll do “O Holy Night” (and I will for sure this year!)

  12. Suzanne

    Put me down for “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” please. I may or may not have a young ‘un singing with me.

    If I decide to play around with Sonic Foundry, you just might get me singing all four parts. I beg off on the Obligato, though-it is now out of my range.

  13. Neil

    Postmodern (or Miss Canadian Scrooge, as I like to call you) — I guarantee that by mid December, you will be singing along with everyone else. How do I know that? Be prepared tonight for a visit from the Ghost of The Christmahanukwanzaakah Blogger Online Holiday Concerts Past.

  14. Fancy

    I know it’s not really a seasonal song, but my family does a really mean Ha Va Nagila. When we used to get together on Christmas Eve to sing carols with the Catholic side of the family, everyone always looked forward to a rousing rendition of it. I’m willing to bet I can get the the few of us left to do it on Thanksgiving so I can record it. I promise you will be able to hear me, even if you can’t see me. Maybe Esther will phone in from Florida on speaker phone to join. What do you say?

  15. Fancy

    That would be Hava Nagila, sorry, I’m not a very good jew.

  16. Hilly

    If I can rope a dude into doing it with me, I’ll do “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. If not, then I will be back to re-announce my intentions. 😉

  17. balou

    Does it have to be good? I’m an extremely novice concertina player. It’s so novice, it may effect your readership in a negative way. If quality is not an issue, I’m game for “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”…concertina style. I bet you can’t wait.

  18. V-Grrrl

    I’ll do the same thing I did last year and the year before: applaud!

    I’ll comment to. I always do. It’s my only talent.

  19. Neil

    Balou — We have never had a concertina performer before. That is exciting. (even if you are a novice)

    Fancy — Hava Nagila?! That’s not exactly a Hanukkah song, but if it is a traditional in your eccentric family, who am I to question it?

    V-grrl — I figured a classy woman like you could play the piano or tap dance or something? Maybe you can record a racy Christmas joke!

  20. sizzle

    Well, hmmm. I sang two songs last time. Maybe it’s time for me to shake it up? I’m definitely participating but I have to find the right tune.

  21. Not Fainthearted

    I have been thinking about this ALL YEAR. And yet, I haven’t settled on a selection. I leave for vacation on Thursday, so I don’t think I’ll have an answer for you by then. I’ll try to have settled on something by the time I get back. I’m also open for requests….

  22. sizzle

    I thought about it and it’s between The Christmas Song and What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?

  23. kateanon

    Ooh I want to participate – just have to think of a song…

  24. Danny

    Did I never do that other dreidel song, “S’vivon, Sov, Sov, Sov?” If not, I’ll give that a try, and maybe even share the traumatic episode that surrounds that childhood memory.

  25. Chicky Chicky Baby

    Sorry, can’t participate in this. I don’t sing so that others can hear me. You can thank me for that later. But I can’t wait to see everyone else’s and laugh, I mean, applaud.

    And I’m the latest blog crush?? Cool. That’s a good thing, right? It’s been so long since I was crushed upon.

  26. 180/360

    If I can grow some stones and get over some past hang ups, I will sing The Christmas Song.

  27. Neil

    180/360 — You have the stones. I know it.

  28. kanani

    BRILLIANT! I love the following you’ve got!

  29. Astrogirl

    I’ll sing “The Gift”, if I can get just drunk enough. Dont worry, I’ll find a way 🙂

  30. G. Savant

    Wow. I vaguely remember doing a drunken rendition of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with some floozy at a Christmas party many years ago that was held in a bar/restaurant famous for it’s smoked turkey.

    The mind reels and twitches. Carry on.

  31. Hilly

    Shiny has agreed to do my song with me so, mark us down!

  32. iamthediva

    okay, i was going to do “Baby it’s Cold outside” with Saviabella, but it’s taken. So mark me down for “Santa Baby”



  33. balou

    “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” is open for grabs again. My concertina can’t play all the notes in that song. Typical…blame the equipment and not the operator. 😉 I’ll figure a song out and I promise it won’t be “Silent Night”.

  34. Loralee

    Dammit, everyone has already taken every selection I love. GAH!

    If I’m on my own, I guess I’ll do “O, come all ye faithful.” If I can drag my husband on camera we’ll do a short medly of olde English songs (Um, I know “Bring a torch, Jenette, Isabella is in there along with Lo, lay thou little tiny child…or something…I’ll have to check”

  35. Neil

    If you intend to do a song in a new way, feel free to do the same song as someone else.

  36. La Framéricaine

    I absolutely love Christmas music. Not the classics but the jazzy, R&B, blues, and novelty stuff so, I definitely want in on this and I want to do “Whatever Happened to Christmas?” It expresses my deepest feelings about the whole sheebang. I’m so excited! Now I just have to ask one of you all knowing individuals, “How the hell do you get a song you record yourself online?” I can see them and hear them from the previous years, but I don’t know how to do it.

    Anyway, thank you for inviting me. I already started singing into my husband’s ear at 2:30am when I wake from a bad dream and need to practice for your recital.

  37. Assertagirl

    I will play “The Christmas Song” on my ancient piano! Maybe the cats will chime in.

  38. Mama Ginger Tree

    I’ll be doing “Jimmy the Elf” accompanied by my son on the drums.

  39. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Do I see my partner is bailing on me? I need a new partner? Hmm. Those fickle bloggy friends. 😉

    Somehow or another I will be there.

  40. mommymae

    i know someone already chose it, but i have a non-standard version of “o, holy night” i’d like to try. who knows, i may even sing it ‘en français!’ (but i doubt it)

  41. Ginger

    I will do “Mary Did You Know?” … this will be fun! 🙂

  42. MapleMama

    Thanks again, Neil, for organizing this. I’d like to do “Grown-up Christmas List” if I can figure out the da*ned key changes, otherwise I’ll sing “In the Bleak Midwinter”. Happy December one and all!

  43. Laurel

    I finally have the technology this year to participate. So it’s between Merry Christmas Darling and I’ll Be Home For Christmas… What fun!

  44. Y

    I’ll do one verse of O Holy Night. But, I reserve the right to chicken out.

  45. Marie-The Snake Charmers

    If I can put my head around finishing it, I’ll do an original Xmas song. If not, I’ll perform “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.”

    If we’re allowed to do 2, I’ll do both those.

  46. Backpacking Dad

    Ok. I’ll do “White Christmas”.

  47. Backpacking Dad

    Because every fucking white dude thinks he’s Bing Crosby come Christmas time.

  48. SJ

    Okay, I’m signing up in representation of all my fellow Tarians. I’ll be submitting a non-denominational, non-religious, generically celebratory song of a moderately festive nature.

  49. merrymishaps

    My schedule is insane between now and Christmas, but I’d really like to participate again. No idea what I’m going to do yet …

  50. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

    Has anyone signed up for The Little Drummer Boy yet?

    Or do you want me to do something from “The Messiah”?

  51. veep veep

    I’m in.

    But I’m warning everyone that they should play the video at the lowest volume possible or dogs everywhere will not be happy.

  52. veep veep

    Let me clarify that reply…
    I’m in for one verse. And One verse only.

  53. alejna

    I’ve been psyching myself up for singing “Coventry Carol” for this. Just now, I’ve lost my voice. I may or may not let that stop me.

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