the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Six Pieces of Luggage


Sophia was so nervous,
As we took our daily walk.

“I need to pack for Tuesday,
Cause I’m flying to New York.”

“Just grab something together .
It’s really no big deal.”

“Are you crazy?  I’m a woman!”
She turned upon her heel.

“I need a gown (for Broadway shows),
I need a coat (for August snows).
I need a bra (with the right cup),
I need a bra (that lifts me up).
I need cosmetics  (for sexy lips),
I need some hose (without the rips).
I need a dress (that’s girly and mod),
I need my laptop (and my iPod).
I need my shoes (my Kenneth Cole!)
I need my panties (the ones you haven’t stole!)
I need six bags to bring everything I ought.”
And I need YOU…


“…to drive to the airport!”


A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:  What’s the Matter with Kids Today?


  1. deezee

    you gonna handle her being away???

  2. Lou P.

    At first I thought it was strange that you rhymes “walk” with “New York” until I realized that, with the right accent, York can sound like “Yalk.”

  3. Pearl

    The rhyme scheme might work better with “…’cause I’m flying to Noo Yawk.”

    I think when you drive Sophia to the airport, you’d better attach a U-Haul to your vehicle to shlep all her luggage.

    By the way, of ALL the hundreds and thousands of Google images you had to choose from, you chose this one. I happened to use the very same one in January of this year, in a post of mine.

  4. momentary academic

    You’ll be the perfect escort to the airport. Have a safe flight, Sophia. Good luck with the loneliness, Neil.

  5. Neil

    You mean walk doesn’t rhyme with New York?

  6. Priss

    I need my stockings
    (You can skip the coal)

  7. Viscountess of Funk

    I love your New Yawk accent and your poem. I have an aunt from Maine (Now I know that Maine and NY have different accents, but bear with me). To this day, I remember her thirty years ago yelling at me, “Now, don’t be a SMAAHTY pants and get into the CAAAH.” Funnier yet was when she asked me, at dinner recently, for a fork: “Leezer (my name is Lisa) Can I please get a new FOH-AWK.” It came out sounding like F*CK.
    Tee hee.

  8. V-Grrrl

    E left yesterday to fly to the U.S. for an extended business trip, his “carry-on” a clear gallon-sized Ziploc bag that he clutched like a nervous kindergartner.

  9. emma

    I reckon you’re going to pine like a love sick puppy, scratching at the door and waiting for her to come home.

  10. kristen

    Great poem! If it were me, I’d need all those things and then another suitcase for all my worry and things that can’t be carried on or stowed in the overhead compartment.

  11. justrun

    I wish my daily life events rhymed like yours, Neil.


    Is this the last Sophia-edited post?

  13. wordgirl

    Unfortunately, almost everything she named has to be stowed in cargo…rather than overhead. You can’t even carry a damned lipstick! Geez!

  14. Nelumbo

    Sounds like you will be putting those blogging biceps to work tomorrow.

  15. Kevin

    Oh yeah, take your medications!!!

  16. Napoleon

    For a one scary moment I thought today’s Thursday already:
    Neil’s writes in verse! And I’m behind my work schedule!

    Sophia, don’t worry: there are plenty of pantie-stores in NY. Something old, something new…

  17. Tara

    I’m glad that none of the things she needed were liquid or you would have carried it to the car for nothing.

  18. Jocelyn

    I love your poetry, Neil. And Sophia’s list looks just about right to me, I’m sure she’ll leave you a pair of panties if you ask nicely.

  19. Nance

    We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t invent the airplane that comes and gets us at home. Sheesh!

  20. ashbloem

    Brilliant poem! You are a regular Shel Silverstein.

  21. treespotter

    even i’m excited to see how this unfold. Neil, at home, by himself.

    how scary.

  22. Akaky

    York doesnt rhyme with walk? what planet do you live on?

  23. mrs mogul

    If I had my dozens of Victoria Secret Vouchers I would have sent some, (but I already used them all in NYC!) my sister is in the fashion industry.

  24. laurie

    Yeah, I have a New Yawk accent, too.

    Hey. Tell Sophia the TSA has banned all snakes on a plane. Just in case she was wondering.

  25. Neil

    Jeez, more things for her to worry about — crying babies, turbulance, no food, Islamic terrorists, and now those damn snakes!

  26. Leesa

    I love this 🙂 I’ll have to remember this next time I travel.

  27. Catherine

    As my daughter said, “they have banned an entire state of matter”. I hope the airlines and the insurance companies figure out who is going to cover laptops and digital cameras lost/stolen in transit, now that they can’t be carried on.
    It didn’t even occur to me that walk doesn’t rhyme with New York. But then, I’m a New Zealander.

  28. better safe than sorry

    i thought the poetry blogging was on tuesdays?
    anyways, nice job on the writing! very sweet sendoff for your lovely lady.

  29. question girl

    um, wouldnt it be less stressful to just FEDEX all of sophia’s stuff?

    PLUS they 1)have a lower % of lost luggate & 2)have better insurance coverage

  30. Alex

    I predict a rapid psychiatric decompensation for you within hours after Sophia departs.

  31. Melissa

    Don’t complain, girls need their “stuff” wherever they go. It’s how we make a strange place feel like home.

  32. miss marisol

    Send this to the Metropolitan Diary of the NY Times.
    So true. So true.

  33. ACG

    i think the only time i’ve traveled with more than a carry on was for a 2 week curise of spain, france, & italy… and that was still just one big piece.
    my rule is, if it doesn’t fit, it’s not nesscary.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial