Tevye is in the kitchen blogging. Golde comes in, wearing her nightdress.
Golde: “Tevye, enough with the blogging. It’s time to go to bed. You have work tomorrow. You’re not a rich man.”
Tevye: “I know, Golde… I know… let me just finish this post about Israel.”
Golde: “Tevye, what is it with every post lately being about the Jews? You used to write interesting posts, about other subjects… like sex.”
Tevye: “Hold on… hold on… another anti-Semitic comment on my last post. I need to answer this jerk before I go to bed…”
Golde: (singing) “Tevye, do you love me?”
Golde: “Do you love me?”
Tevye: “What kind of question is that?
(singing) For all these years, I’ve been with you
Ate with you, laughed with you
Slept with you, blogged with you
After all these years, why talk about love now?”
Golde: “Tevye, do you love me?”
Tevye: “Of course I do!”
Tevye stands facing Golde, and guides her slowly to the floor. He moves under her long nightdress, his beard gently rubbing her inner thighs. Tevye guides his mouth to Golde’s pussy. Golde moans as Tevye flicks his tongue inside, tasting her juices.
Golde: “Oh, Tevye, you’re always so good at making me come!”
Tevye: “Tradition! Tradition!”
A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: My Entry to the Vanity Fair Essay Competition