Today is my birthday. It is also the sixth anniversary of Citizen of the Month, which I began writing on March 7, 2005.
Even thought I have republished this before, I will do it again. My first post from 2005–
What’s on my mind this evening — the night of my first post? It’s the future. My future.
I see it so clearly.
I’m a very spry 100 year old man, thanks to medical advances and the ability of the medical establishment to take chances with modern patient care. Who knew that the diet supplement Trimspa would end up eradicating most illnesses from the world?
I’m in my home of the future. My grandson, Bar Code #466408736664, sits at my side, browsing the internet in eye-scan mode (using the latest upgraded Intel mini-chip in his brain — the PC having disappeared decades earlier).. Suddenly, he tells me that he’s at the Coca-Cola digi-Archives site (formerly the Library of Congress) and viewing this very first post that you are currently reading.
At that moment, I will be an old man remembering the early days of the Internet. The 56K modem. Netscape. Those AOL disks falling out of every magazine. That first illegal MP3. That first post on the blog.
“Grandpa,” #466 says with a twinkle in his eye. “Man, grandpa, this post really sucks.”
And just then, I realize that it isn’t a twinkle in his eye, but a reaction to one of those synthetic drugs he’s been taking at school. I laugh, remembering how I was drunk while writing that first post.
“He’d grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.”
What a weird hobby — this blogging thing. In some ways, my writing hasn’t changed much over the years; it is still a combination of honesty and bullshit.
The truth: I was not drunk writing my first post. I should delete that now. Why did I write that for? I must have thought it was funny at the time.
That is one way my writing has changed; I’m not as funny as I used to be in 2005. Three family deaths and the ups and downs of marital life can do that to you. Maybe I was never that funny. But luckily, I have had good friends, both online and offline keeping me in good spirits, a loving mother, and the continued friendship of Sophia, so I’m pretty optimistic about the future. And all this angst, rather than getting me down, has only made me more sexy in the eyes of women, because they seem to love the dark, brooding type of guy! So, there is that.
What will happen on this blog during this sixth year of production? Rather than tell you in words, I made a little video trailer of an upcoming blog post that I will be writing in July. So, please stick around for another year of laughter, pathos, and drama! Enjoy.