I’m taking a quick break from my one week journal, after one entry! (hey, it is my blog and I can do what I want) because I’m reading all these posts lately on “fat acceptance – yes or no,” written by some female bloggers, and the tone of some of these posts — and the comments — is unsettling.
I find it odd that in the middle of difficult economic times and horrible disasters around the world, so many people are fighting online about weight issues. Why aren’t women more supportive of each other on this topic? I though blogging was supposed to be a meeting of the minds, not bodies.
What’s going on?!
Fat Acceptance is Bullshit
I Call Bull
What if Fat Doesn’t Mean Miserable
She Just Walks Around With It
I’ve written about women and size on my blog in the past. In fact, someone asked me recently how I ended up with a majority of female readers. It was not my intention when I started to blog. If you go into my archives, you will see that my first three posts were dumb little items about pop culture.
My fourth post, on March 14, 2005, was a post titled OhmyGod! A Size 14 in the Beverly Center!
This post was my first “true-life” entry (90% truth quotient) about shopping with “F,” my “cousin from Israel” for size 14 clothes at a popular mall in Los Angeles. This “F” was not my cousin, but Sophia. I was still unclear at the time whether to use her real name, or even to talk about my wife at all. I was a blogging newbie. When I wrote this post, I was not setting myself up to be someone specifically interested in women’s issues. I’m not a woman, but I was MARRIED to one. I was writing it as a guy who accompanied his wife when she went shopping for clothes, and it was a pain in the ass finding clothes for her. Very few husbands enjoy shopping with their wives, including me, and I just wanted the experience to be painless as possible, but after shopping a few times with Sophia, I understood why men wanted to date women who are size 2. It wasn’t because they are “sexier.” It is because they can get in and out of Macy’s in a shorter amount of time. The size 2 clothes are on the main floor. The size 14 clothes are on the seventh floor, by the kitchen appliances, and the styles tend to look like potato sacks.
This post attracted six commenters, all of them women, which was six more commenters than my first three posts combined. The rest is history. I started viewing my readership as being largely women, and once I tasted the forbidden fruit, I just couldn’t stop.
Throughout the years, Sophia’s size fluctuated between 12-16, depending on several factors, some health related and others just because we ate too many pastries.
Every year or so, I seem to bring up this weight issue, mostly because I saw how concerned she was over this subject. In May, 2006, I wrote a post titled “Fat People.
In this post, I compared “fat” discrimination to anti-Semitism. The comparison was probably unfair, but the post provoked a lot of discussion.
One of my favorite posts is titled “Neilochka Sex: Boycott the Fashion Industry!”
In the post, I make fun of the lack of support between women over this weight discrimination issue. If you think about it, mothers will boycott Motrin for a silly commercial, but say very little about 3/4 of their peers unable to go into certain stores which only cater to certain sizes (and surprise, surprise, many of those NOT size 2 are African-American and Latina women!) I still get angry comments on this post, usually in support of the fashion industry. I get a sense that some fashionable women don’t think other women “deserve” to wear nice clothes.
Three days ago, I wrote a darkly “funny” post about replacing our health care system with Jillian Roberts 30-Day Shred DVDs. Some commenters got mad at me for writing statements such as:
“The fashion industry does a better job than the medical establishment in promoting HEALTH with their healthy thin, role-models. Those who insist that “real” (read fat) women should be portrayed in ads, are not your friends. These women, so-called “feminists,” are mostly lobbyists for the pharmaceutical companies wanting to promote bad health to increase profits for diet pills.”
I apologize if I hurt anyone’s feelings, even though I thought I was making fun of exercise fanatics. In some circles, this is called “satire.” You should see what some female bloggers actually SAY without being tongue in cheek.
I’m not fat. I don’t think Sophia is fat. Neither of us have abs that are very impressive. I do think obesity is an issue in America. I do think exercise is wonderful and important, and I should try to get more healthy, no matter what my weight.
I also think education is important, and if guy drops out of high school, I don’t say he is a lazy loser, because I don’t know the circumstances of his life. I also don’t look down him because when he becomes a plumber and makes ten times as much money as me, I don’t want him laughing at me for wasting my life with this ridiculous “writing” nonsense!
Be nice. And remember, when you get to be 75, the bigger woman will always look younger. My size 18 mother looks 60. Her size 2 friend with 20 plastic surgeries looks 90.
We should all exercise. We should all eat right. Better education, housing, and pay for all Americans will do a lot more for obesity than calling names, or dismissing people wanting to accept themselves in a society that makes them feel second class. Rather than judging each other on weight, we should judge each other on how many orgasms we have each month. That is a better barometer of a person’s happiness.
Finally, as I said on Twitter earlier today, “God help us if they ever perfect penis enlargement and men are made to feel as insecure as women with their weight.”