the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

It’s the Journey, Stupid

I will be posting every day for the month of September. Let me warn you ahead of time. Many of these posts will be bad or lazily-written. I will have no time to be clever. I realize that this will be sabotaging my “brand” and my name, but sometimes we have to sacrifice everything for the greater good.

Why will I be posting every day for the month of September? Here is the uplifting tale —

I was kvetching on Twitter, as I frequently do, saying that I had lost my blogging mojo. There were many factors at play, causing this state of mojo-less — personal ones, disenchantment with the blogging world, the trauma of attending BlogHer, and a lack of focus.

After I wrote this “tweet,” some nice woman from one of our fine Southern states, sent me a message that struck me deep, like a Confederate knife into my abdomen. This nice woman was not a long-time reader of my blog or someone I knew that well, just a concerned citizen, but her voice from the darkness was a lifeline of reason and compassion. She said, and I paraphrase, “Shut the f**k up and just blog every day for the month of September.” I’m not sure if she used those exact words, but those are the ones that I heard.

I know some bloggers try to post each day as a writing exercise or as a challenge to themselves. I don’t care about that. The last thing I want to do is clutter my template with one of those “I Did Namblopomo Last Month” (National Blog Posting….). In my opinion, that is not a inspirational goal. Call me old-fashioned, sexist, patriarchal — but I can only visualize one true reason for doing anything:

“If I post every day for the month of September, will you tell me your bra size?” I asked.

She said yes, without a hesitation. Southern women are confident, and don’t play games. I am learning that.

I had my motivation. My muse. I said it was an uplifting tale!

Was it wrong for me to ask for this request? I don’t think so. Great literature, from Homer to Cervantes to Shakespeare, are filled with tales of men going out into the world to achieve an impossible task for the honor of a woman. Why else do the f**king impossible task?! Right?

And yes, I want a pay-off at the end. I am a man. I figured that asking for her bra size was extremely personal, but not outrageous in these modern times when women post about their vibrators, a 2009 equivalent of the thirteenth century knight asking the maiden for a locket of her hair.

Some of my male blogger friends were all, “Dude, you sold yourself short. You should have held out for a topless photo!” These men clearly do not understand what a muse is all about, because they have spent more time reading Penthouse letters than Ovid. Asking for a topless photo would be sleazy and TOO practical, undermining the beauty and poetry of the JOURNEY.

And yes, this is a journey. And yes, there will be a prize at the end, if I can fight the demons and sirens and fight the windmills and battle the Trojans and accomplish all of my tasks. The prize will be a satisfying one, a key to the unlocking of a woman’s deepest and precious mystery, but it is also a pointless one. And THAT is the point. I had lost my blogging mojo because I was in search of a reason – a practical point – for writing this blog, and the answer is — there is none. The journey exists on its own. There should be no prize. But, alas, I still needed one, even an illogical one, because I am a weak man, a soldier without a war, an athlete without a team, a priest without a God. I needed a muse. And soon I will know her bra size.

27 Comments

  1. Neil

    And yes, I will be making up for the first two days of September, since I am starting late.

  2. muskrat

    Godspeed, Perseus.

  3. Quadelle

    Today in talking about motivation with a wise person I know he made the very accurate point that if we wait for motivation to get us doing difficult things we’ll likely never do them. Often the motivation only comes after being engaged in doing something. So, better to simply decide to do something (whether particularly motivated to or not) and then get on with doing it. The motivation (hopefully) comes later as the payoff for getting our butts in gear.

  4. Middle-Aged-Woman

    This can get you started: 36C. Looking forward to the journey. I’ll bet you learn other things this month, too.

  5. teahouseblossom

    Nice. I’m looking forward to it. You know I can’t get enough of your pearls of wisdom, Neil! Post onward!

  6. SciFi Dad

    If you post the whole month of October, I’ll send you a topless photo of myself.

  7. Finn

    Why not a picture of her favorite bra? Without her in it, of course. Bra size? What are you going to do with that?

  8. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    I think it show a great deal of taste and impulse control to only ask for her bra size.

  9. MammaLoves

    If it helps I’ll throw in mine too, but I’ll be checking…

  10. Jill

    Well, I, for one, am looking forward to reading a post from you every day!

  11. threeboys1mommy

    36D!

  12. sweetsalty kate

    It’s a good thing I’m not your muse. If I told you my bra size you’d think I’m a 12-year-old boy.

  13. Gwen

    Who knew that bra size mattered that much. Oh, the wonderful things you teach me, Neil.

  14. Staceylt

    I’m looking forward to reading you every day for a month. I’m not so sure you’re right about Southern women. 34D

  15. mamie

    i was going to leave a very clever comment about it being a day late, but i see you noticed and i am not that clever anyway.

    i am very excited to see what comes of the quest, the journey…not for the bra size, but to read you more frequently. so get the f off twitter and start writing.

  16. Juli Ryan

    So this is what it takes to get you to post more often. I wish I had told you my bra size a long time ago.

  17. Kerri Anne

    Starting this daily posting endeavor with Journey can only lead to greatness.

  18. Introspectre

    Why does that make me like you MORE?
    *shakes head*
    Talking of poetry and muses.
    If you wanted to get truly personal, ask her how much she weighs.

  19. kenju

    Oh, heck, you didn’t even have to ask –
    40 C

  20. MommaSunshine

    Hm. Perhaps you should challenge yourself to finding how many bra sizes you can collect.

  21. Heather

    I can’t wait to watch this journey 😉

  22. gorillabuns

    i think you already know my bra size so I won’t tell you again. as for posting every day? i wouldn’t do it if you didn’t feel it. don’t succumb to the pressure. live in the moment and do what you want. oh, hell. you know i don’t know what i’m talking about as i kinda let it all hang out. both literal and figuratively.

  23. deb

    somehow i think your “brand” will be just fine… if anything people will flock to watch the trainwreck.

    you should have asked for a little more info. all 36Cs are NOT created equal… especially if she’s had any kids. but i guess it’s your fantasy, not mine!

    anyhow, i’ll be here cheering you on!

  24. Laurie

    This is why I’m doing it too, just because I can.

    I love that you included a Journey video here, yes I do.

  25. Aunt Becky

    Posting every day is the only way I post at all. I don’t know how that makes sense, but to me, somehow it does. I look forward to reading it all.

  26. Jenna/The Word Cellar

    Maybe you should issue a challenge to your blogging readers. If X (number TBD) of them blog every day for the next 30 days, you’ll get yourself a tight pair of skinny jeans like Mr. Perry in that video and post the photo online. Oh! And one random winner could receive an autographed copy. (Am I creeping you out? I feel a little creepy.)

  27. Memarie Lane

    I’m a 32DD. Yes they’re all natural, but don’t get too excited, they’re a pain in the… chest, and impossible to shop for. I’m saving up for a reduction and perk job.

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