Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Month: April 2009 (page 1 of 2)

Power Struggles

armada1

I’m flying to Los Angeles on Friday for a couple of weeks, partly to take care of work-related matters.   I’m already feeling the anxiety.   Writing in Hollywood does not exactly fit my personality.   Networking is essential and there is a good amount of backstabbing.    In the entertainment industry, the aura of power is very important.   While I do have a competitive side, I would probably make a better junior high school English teacher.   That is more “me.”

One of the reasons I love blogging so much  is that I can avoid this competitive nature of writing.   Where else can I write a silly story and have pretty girls show up and applaud?   I don’t have to deal with agents or schmooze with people I don’t like — and best of all, the hero in the story gets to be ME, not Matthew McConaughey.

As blogging matures and becomes more business-like, it becomes just like Hollywood, which is people struggling for attention and power.   This used to trouble me, but now I just accept it.   It is human nature.   Sadly, life is less like a John Lennon song, and more like a game of music chairs or singing on American Idol.

I enjoy reading posts about the mom bloggers, because they are the most “successful” of the personal bloggers.  They have the most at stake, so there is always some internal drama going on that rivals “All My Children.”   “Important” moms argue over who is the most “influential,” as if motherhood was now a spectator sport.   Some writers now spend more time fighting over the direction of mommyblogging — what to say, what to do, what to call “mommyblogging” — than discussing their daily life.

I learn from these strong-willed individuals, much as I did with Sophia.   I have no problem with women being power brokers.  I wish I could be as strong and as sure of my opinions and wants.

You can catch up on the latest drama as my friend, Erin, Queen of Spain, who once rallied mom bloggers to “become a business,” now outs new bloggers as “carpetbaggers,” because they skip the “content” part of the writing completely, and just do giveaways.

I don’t disagree with Erin.   The bigger question is “who calls the shots?”   Who decides what a mommyblogger, or any blogger, should or shouldn’t do?   Who gives community leaders the power to speak for other individuals?

A commenter on Resourceful Mommy said it better —

What I find funny about this conversation (and several other conversations similar in topic and tone) is that the original Big bloggers were some of the first to push boundaries–the first pursued for reviews, the first to be paid bloggers and blog community leaders, the first to set up businesses connecting companies with bloggers.

It’s okay for one generation to redefine and raise eyebrows, but now everyone else must be controlled by their limits?

When there are limited resources, there will always be power struggles.  It doesn’t surprise me that as the economy has faltered, there has been more nastiness online.  People have agendas, sometimes personal, sometimes political.  This is the same for men and women.  Just watch an episode of “Survivor.”

stuart

On Saturday, I saw a production of Mary Stuart on Broadway, with Janet McTeer and Harriet Walter as Mary Queen of the Scots and Queen Elizabeth 1.   As with many dramas that were first produced in London, the acting was phenomenal.   I don’t know if I would recommend it to everyone.   It is talky, and I found myself dozing off a bit during the first act.    Luckily, during the intermission, I went into the lobby, turned on my iphone, and read about history on Wikipedia, filling me in on the backstory of this great power struggle of the 16th Century.

After the death of Mary Tudor, Henry II caused his eldest son and his daughter-in-law to be proclaimed king and queen of England.    From now on, Mary always insisted on bearing the royal arms of England, and her claim to the English throne was a perennial sticking point between Elizabeth I and her, as would become obvious in Mary’s continuous refusal to ratify the Treaty of Edinburgh. Under the ordinary laws of succession, Mary was next in line to the English throne after her father’s cousin, Elizabeth I, who was childless.   Yet, in the eyes of many Catholics, Elizabeth was illegitimate, thus making Mary the true heir as Mary II of England.   However the Third Succession Act of 1543 provided that Elizabeth would succeed Mary I of England on the throne.

This was an epic battle between two powerful women, between family members, between two religions, that changed Europe and the world forever.

Clearly, Erin of the Queen of Spain (funny how everyone wants to be a Queen!)  is not going to chop my head off for writing this.   She is a very nice women.   As I mentioned earlier, I learn from these dramas.  I shy away from conflict (at least in real life), although I admire those who take a stand and fight for it.   We all have to push ourselves if we want something worthwhile.   Even something as beautiful as all the money collected for the March of Dimes last week for Maddie required volunteers organizing and pushing for money, and focusing our energy on the importance of this charity, opposed to the many other good charities in the world, like prostate cancer or muscular dystrophy.  Even Good Deeds requires leadership and someone (or some organization) getting slighted.  Everyone wants the attention focused on them.

I perfectly understand the feeling.   One of the problems in my marriage was this feeling of a power struggle, over “who was in charge.”

Today, my mother and I were walking in Times Square when we encountered men dressed as cartoon characters. Kids would run up to, say SpongeBob, and the parent would take a photo. At first, I thought these were sanctioned characters presented by the Disney Store, but then I noticed that Sponge Bob was pushing for tips, and that the “Elmo” character was in direct competition with SpongeBob. He seemed to be pissed that the kids considered him “2008” and only wanted a photo with SpongeBob instead.   Two blocks away was the production of Mary Stuart, but I didn’t have to pay a hundred dollars a ticket to see great drama.  It was right in front of me.   Two hard-working guys (or gals), stuck in hot, uncomfortable costumes in the heat, battling for tips from tourists from Germany.

Another example of limited resources, and a power struggle for dominance.

Now, honestly.   Where ELSE can you ever read a blog post comparing mommybloggers, 16th Century English royalty, and SpongeBob?

By the way, the exchange I had with my mother over these cartoon characters was amusing.

My mother and I encountered Sponge Bob in the center “island” in the middle of 42nd Street.

spongebob

Mom:   “Who’s that?”

Neil:  “Sponge Bob.”

Mom:   “Is he supposed to be a piece of swiss cheese?”

Neil:   “No, I think he is supposed to be a sponge.”

Mom:  “Kids play with sponges?”

Neil:  “I’m not exactly sure he is a sponge. Let me ask my readers.”

I took a photo of SpongeBob with my iPhone.

Mom:  “You should take a photo of Oscar too.”

Neil:  “That’s Elmo.”

elmo

Mom:  “Everyone is taking a photo of the sponge, but no one is taking a photo of Elmo. Look at him. He looks so sad. He must be shvitzing in that costume.”

Neil:  “I don’t want to take a picture of him.”

Mom:  (Jewish motherish)   “Go on. Take a picture of him. You know you want to.”

We crossed the street and immediately ran into Mickey Mouse and Shrek.  While SpongeBob and Elmo were doing their shtick for tips on “the island,” these guys seemed to be professionals hired by Disney.

Mom:   “Hey, it’s Mickey Mouse!  You want a photo of him?”

Neil:   “I don’t like Mickey Mouse.”

Mickey waved at me.

mickey

Mickey Mouse:   “Hello. Do you want to take a photo of me?”

Mom:   “Go ahead, Neil.”

Neil:  “No, thanks.”

Mickey looked disappointed.

Mom:  “What about a photo of Shrek?

My mother looked Shrek over.

Mom:  “I thought Shrek would be bigger.”

shrek

Neil:   “It’s not really Shrek.”

Mom:   “I know that.   He’s in the Disney musical.”

Neil:  (to Shrek)   “Are you and Mickey working with Disney?”

Shrek:  “Yes.”

I pointed over to SpongeBob and Elmo.

Neil:  “And what about those guys?”

Shrek:   “I don’t know WHO they are.   They’re just doing it for the money.   They don’t care about the children.”

Mickey overheard our conversation and came over.

Mickey:  “Those assholes are stealing our customers.”

Mom:   “No wonder they call Bob a sponge.”

Neil:   “Don’t they need a license?”

Shrek:   “Who knows?  (to Mickey)  We should tell the cops on them.”

Mickey:  “Good idea.”

Mom:  “C’mon, Neil. NOW you have to take photos of your new friends!”

I caved in and took photos of Mickey Mouse and Shrek.   I lost the power struggle with my mother.

Anxiety Friday #2

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Earth Day Meme

chicas

Assignment:  Ask Five of Your Favorite Bloggers to Do a “Green” Meme

Imagine there existed a system to measure a person’s “commitment to a green lifestyle.”  At one end of the spectrum, is the person who measures 0.   This person doesn’t care about the environment.  Sometimes, we give another name to this type of person — a Republican.  (ha ha, just a little political humor there)  This “zero” environmentalist doesn’t worry about the planet and has no problem throwing his trash in the street.

At the other end of the spectrum is Ed Begley Jr.  He measures a 100.  He is such a nut that he rides a stationery bicycle to power the solar panels that supplies electricity to his house, or something like that.

Six months ago, I started writing posts for the Brita Filter for Good blog.  At that time, I measured a, uh, let’s say —  40 on this imaginary environmental scale.    I already cared about the environment, at least in theory.  Caring about the planet is nothing new to me.  Any New York City public school child in the 1970s and 1980s was bombarded with information about pollution and “no nukes.”  In fifth grade, I wrote a letter to the Prime Minister of Japan, insisting that he stopped killing the whales, and that I personally held him responsible.  I have been to Earth Day concerts in Central Park and Heal the Bay walks in Santa Monica, marching twenty feet behind Ted Danson.  Most of these gestures have been symbolic, even fun, because these events were also good places to meet liberal, sexually-confident girls who didn’t wear bras.

I have now written about my “green journey” for six months.   But have I really changed?  I think I have, maybe not as much as I hoped.  I’d say that as of Earth Day, 2009, I now measure a 69 on the imaginary environmental scale.  That is an increase of 29 points!  (and by coincidence, 69 happens to be one of my favorite numbers).  I am better educated, more aware, and have started to take concrete steps to do my little part for the planet.

In honor of Earth Day, I am participating in a meme with the other bloggers from the Filter for Good blog.

What are five ways that I can make a difference during this Earth Month?

Of course, as usual, I am late to the game, and have only published this meme on April 22, which is good for Earth Day, but a little late for Earth Month.  So, I am going to revise the question a bit and ask this question instead —

What are five green things that I can start NOW on Earth Day that I will keep on doing for at least another month?

Later on, I will be inviting you to participate and do this meme yourself!

My Five-For-Good Answers:

1)  I Will Continue to Educate Myself.

This might seem like a easy first choice since it doesn’t require me to do anything particularly green.  For me, it is the most important step.  Every action that I have taken during the last six months was because of my education.  By reading books and websites written by authors who actually KNOW something, I have gained an understanding of WHY I should be so worried about our planet.  Rather than acting out of peer pressure or ignorance, educations helps me make my own decisions.  I have even made some non-green choices.  I do not bring a burlap bag to the supermarket.  I take the supermarket bags and use them, rather than buying Hefty garbage bags.  I feel OK with this, because I took the time to think the situation out.

When I was a teenager, I was “for the environment” because it was cool, and rock stars gave concerts. Now I am motivated by the scary facts, particularly about global warming.

2)  I Will Not Waste Electricity

Remember this post titled “The Can Opener,”  in which I was amazed to learn that I was one of the few Americans who still used an electric can opener?  I am an electricity waster.

In a recent post on Filter For Good, I revealed a dirty little secret —

I always viewed electricity as clean energy, in contrast to the dirt that came from the exhaust pipes of our cars. While I intellectually understood that electrical energy had to come from somewhere, it was removed from my view, much like I order a hamburger without having to think about the animal that was killed.  In the past, when I shut off the lights when I left the room, it was to save money, not because of the environmental impact.

It is easy to get lazy with the use of electricity.  It is always “there” for our use.  Recently, I came back from a two week trip from Florida.  When I walked inside, I noticed that the living room light was on!  At first, I was nervous.  Did someone break in?  Then I remembered how I rushed out of the house to catch my flight and I forgot to shut the light.  What a waste of money and energy.  I should be booted from this green blog because of that mistake!

With the next month, I will be shopping for a more energy efficient air-conditioner in the living room.

3)  I Will Buy Green Household Cleaners

I’ll admit it.  I used to make fun of those of you who would buy green cleaners.   C’mon, give me a break.  Companies will sell you anything, you suckers.   Too much of a wimp to use regular ol’ Ajax?  Then I read more on the subject

The creators of most green cleaning products claim that they avoid some of the chemicals that are suspected to be harmful to humans and the environment, especially when these chemicals are washed down the drain. Although studies are conflicted on this issue, most environmental groups believe that the chemicals in tradition cleaning products can impair neurological functions, or act as respiratory irritants and carcinogens. Labeling on these products is confusing, and most consumers don’t know what these products contain. Many contain phosphates, which can deplete our water supply of oxygen. With 80,000 chemicals in use today, scientists are not sure which one is potentially dangerous. This seems like a good reason to spend an extra dollar for the “green” cleaning product.

4)  I Will Bring My Own Coffee Mug

People have been doing this for years.  I have never done it ONCE.   I have no excuse other than laziness.  Every day, I go to the McDonald’s across the street and order a cup of coffee.  Why add the paper coffee cup to the landfills?  Why not just bring my own mug?

But will McDonald’s fill it?   Has anyone ever brought their own coffee mug to McDonald’s?   I’ve seen customers bring their own mugs to Starbucks, but ultra-corporate McDonald’s?

5)  Buy Organic

This is a subject I want to better understand.  What is real and what is marketing?  I can appreciate how local fruits and vegetables taste better.  Less chemicals are used.  Energy is not wasted in transportation across the country.  I still feel that there is a bit of marketing involved, and that some organic products are just gimmicks, created just to sell products at a higher price.  However, for the next month, I pledge to buy more fruits and vegetables from the farmers’ market in order to buy locally.  This is a big step for me, because I hate spending extra money when tomatoes are on sale at the supermarket.  But, hey, Earth, you are worth it!

Would you like to make any “green” one-month commitments on this Earth Day?

The rules are simple. (Editor’s note:  Actually THEY say it is “simple.”  I find it a big confusing, but I’m going to shut up about that and just copy it — )

Post five things you plan to do for the environment over the next month on your blog. At the end of your list, tag five of your favorite blogs, and include a link back to this post using the hyperlinked text “FilterForGood Blog Meme Contest.” Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs, or on their Twitter accounts (using the hash tag #FFGBlogMeme). Also, be sure to include these rules at the bottom of your post.

An Extra Bonus

At the end of Earth Month, FilterForGood will choose a few lucky bloggers who posted their five things to win some Brita/FFG gift packs to help you go green! Be sure you link back to the original meme post [http://www.filterforgood.com/blog/?p=1407] to enter the contest!

How about you — Letter Girl, Finn, Twenty Four at Heart, Miss Grace, and Stacey?

I Have to Do a Meme

Have you ever noticed this Filter For Good widget in my sidebar?   I write once a week for a “green” blog, detailing my  journey as I become more environmentally aware.  There are other bloggers involved in this project, dedicated individuals who know what they are talking about when they write their weekly posts.   My role is to be the village idiot.   My posts tend to be about baby steps, and important issues such as “Recycled Toilet Paper:  Is is Soft Enough For Me Or Would I Rather Just Destroy the EcoSystem and be Happy with My Charmin?”

Today, I got an email from the find folks at Brita, who sponsor this blog, “requesting” that I take part in a meme this week.  I am supposed to list five “green” things that I have initiated this April, which is also now known as Earth Month.   Didn’t it used to just be Earth DAY?  Now it is a whole MONTH?   Why do all of our holidays get longer and longer?   Christmas also used to be one day, remember? — December 25.  Now the official shopping season starts on August 28th, when Rite-Aid starts decorating the Christmas aisle.

So, be prepared for my upcoming “green” meme, probably tomorrow.  I only mention this, because throughout the years, many of you have invited me to participate in YOUR delightful memes and, well… uh, I NEVER do them.   If I am so anti-meme, why am I choosing to do THIS meme?

Go back five paragraphs.  Notice that when I first mentioned this meme, I said  “I got an email “requesting” that I take part in a meme.”   Look at how I use “” around the word  “requesting.”   Have I told you that they PAY me to do this?  Can you see how this “request” is similar to the “favor” that Don Corleone might ask of the owner of a tiny Italian restaurant in Little Italy?

Don Corleone:  “Neiloni, my dear friend.  I have a favor to ask of you.  I realize that it is midnight and that your restaurant is closing, and that you want to go home and spend time with your family and watch American Idol, but I have a taste for some of that excellent lasagna that only you can make from scratch.  Would you do me a FAVOR and cook it for me?”

NOW do you understand why I am going to do this meme this week, when in the past, I have only spit in your face when you asked me to do your meme?

One more thing.  Remember the post I wrote a few days ago where I was all worried about the reciprocal nature of blogging. and most of you were all “stop worrying, Neil” and “we love you, Neil” and “it doesn’t matter if you ever read or comment on my blog because I will come here to read and comment on your blog no matter WHAT,  because blogging is not reciprocal and we don’t expect ANYTHING from you in return?”

I’m going to need to ask FIVE of you to do this meme.    Ha Ha  (nervous laugh)

Condolences

The more people we know online, the more heart-breaking tragedies we will be sharing with our friends on the blogosphere.  I question whether all of this twittering, blogging, asking for donations, changing the color of our avatars, and begging for celebrity tweets is the right response to the learning of the passing of a child, or a blogger friend fighting cancer, or someone on Facebook having their home destroyed by a hurricane.

Maybe there isn’t an adequate response.   Everyone is just trying to find their way.  None of us know exactly what to do during these sad events, or whether we should be doing it in such a public manner.  I hope the families of Thalon and Maddie accept our sincere condolences from this virtual online family.

Gorillabuns is the name of the blog of my good blogging friend, Shana.   You can help Shana and her family by donating.  (thank you, Whoorl)

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The Spohr’s Remember Maddie site.  I will be walking in the March of Dimes march for babies with other New Yorkers.  Come join us or sponsor us.

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Anxiety Friday – New Post!

The goal of Anxiety Friday is to share some of my anxieties with you before the weekend.  Hopefully, this will allow me to better relax by transfering my angst onto you.  Thank you very much!

This week’s topic will be blogging.

Most of you seem to be so NORMAL — and relaxed — about the blogging experience, caring about each other, coming and going with the friendliness of a country pastor at a church picnic.  Why does the reciprocal nature of blogging give me so much anxiety?   Am I petty, over-sensitive, or just an anti-social only child?

One of my problems is that I don”t find it natural for me to “hear” so many voices during one day, even if I am just hearing those voices in my head as I read.   Some say they “don’t distinguish between real-life and online friends.”  WHAT?!  How can that be possible?!  How do I know who is my “friend” here?  What is the criteria?

Here are three questions that I asked myself last night, and it really drove me batty.

Which ten bloggers are most supportive of my blog and my writing?

I love and appreciate these inspirational people.

If I were only allowed to read ten bloggers on a deserted island, who would they be?

I love and appreciate these amazing talents.

Which ten bloggers do I think are wonderful people and would be ideal friends in real life?

I love and appreciate these terrific  people.

Now, here is the big question — Do any of these lists match up?    Of course not!

And if they don’t, does that make me an asshole?

And if they do, does that make me an even bigger asshole?

No comments necessary.  I’ll let yourself go crazy instead of me.

Not All Gays Like My Blog

There has been a big month for the rights of gays and lesbians.  The Iowa Supreme Court found that denying same-sex couples the opportunity to marry violated that state’s constitution.  The Vermont legislature overrode the governor’s veto of a law giving same-sex couples the right to marry.

Naturally, there is a backlash.    Have you see this nutty video against gay marriage on YouTube?

Of course, there is now a backlash to the backlash, and I have not been spared.

In the last few weeks, I have received quite a few emails and comments about a post I wrote in 2006 titled “Why Gay Marriage Should Be Banned” — which was probably a dumb title, but at the time, I was a clever, bratty, and naive young blogger.

Here is a recent comment to this two year old post:

This is perhaps the most blatant expression of typical American miseducation of the masses. Your comparison between gay marriage and marriage between a goat and a man is perhaps the worst argument standpoint I’ve ever seen on this topic. There is no comparison between the two.  Homosexuals are people too – animals aren’t. Marriage is a human act, not an animalian one – idiot.  You use humour to compensate for the lack of a proper argument.  You and your supporters are a joke.

Let me say this right here.  I am a supporter of gay marriage, even those gays with poor reading comprehension.   Or those with a dislike of goats.

Editor’s Note:  Now that I read it again… I think I can see how it is being misread.   Someone might actually make this crazy argument in real life, so it isn’t that outlandish!

Matzoh Brei

matzoh

During Passover, you’re supposed to eat matzoh, symbolizing how the Israelites ran out of Egypt so quickly, they didn’t have time to leaven the bread.

The best Passover meal is not during the seder, but the next morning.  Matzoh brei is incredibly easy to make.  It is a cross between French Toast made with matzoh and an omelete.

I love matzoh brei.  If, for example, a beautiful woman invited me up to her apartment this week, and we made passionate love all night in her bedroom, I would wake up early the next morning to make her some Passover matzoh brei for breakfast, and after taking one bite, she would no doubt be praising the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Of course, since she praised the Lord several times last night in bed, when I went under the covers, maybe SHE should wake up early and make me the matzoh brei!

(Gimme a break!  Like the rest of you don’t promote yourselves all the time on your dumb blogs?  —  I wrote a book!  I went to a conference!  I met Dooce!   Blah Blah Blah.  — It’s time for me to promote myself!)

Caramelized Onion and Mushroom Matzoh Brei
(via Melissa Clark)

Time: 20 minutes

3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/3 cup diced onions
1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
2 boards(about 2 ounces) matzoh, broken into pieces
5 large eggs, lightly beaten

1. In a skillet over low heat, melt 2 tablespoons of the butter. Add the onions and cook, stirring, until caramelized, 5 to 7 minutes.
2. Add the mushrooms and raise the heat to medium-high. Continue to cook, stirring, until the mushrooms are soft, about 5 minutes. Season with plenty of salt and pepper.
3. Add the remaining tablespoon of butter to the pan and let it melt. Add the matzoh and cook, tossing to coat the matzoh in butter, for 2 minutes.
4. Pour the eggs into the pan and season them generously with salt and pepper. Cook, scrambling the mixture, until the eggs are set, about 2 to 3 more minutes. Season with salt and pepper and serve.

Serves 2

Morning Dew

morning

You need to grab nature wherever you can get it.

Morning.

I walk on the cracked, gray, concrete of  the New York streets  to the McDonald’s across the street, the artificially colored arches calling to me, “Coffee!”

Before I can reach my destination, I face a challenge, like most explorers must.  I need to cross over a thin strip of lawn that separates the parking lot from the drive-thru from the main entrance.  This yard is green, and well maintained.  I try not to trample anywhere beyond the pathway.  The grass is wet and sparkly.   It is my morning dew.

I know I am deceiving myself by considering it morning dew.  I am trying to be poetic, to connect to Thoreau and Walt Whitman, even though I am in modern, decaying Queens.

There is a water hose curled up like a python near the drive-in sign that advertises the latest dollar meals.  I can see the hose.  I know it is there.  I know that a staff member must water the lawn every morning.  I know God is not sprinkling his natural goodness on this god-forsaken piece of land.    I have never seen this McDonald’s employee  in action, but I know that he was there before me, probably very unhappy about getting up so early to come to work to water the grass.

Even though I know the truth, I SEE the water on the grass as morning dew.  The idea that morning dew has appeared across the street from my apartment building, in Queens, on this little plot of lawn — well, it just makes me happy.  Water and grass.  Can you get more elementary than that?  With enough water and sun, a Garden of Eden could bloom, right on this spot, right next to the drive-in window of McDonald’s.

I kneel in front of the lawn.  I always rub the top strands of grass, watching the drops of water fly into the air.  I like when a droplet hits my skin and gives me a tickle.

I always wanted a dog, but have never owned one.  When I rub the wet grass, I can imagine the wet hair of a  little dog, playful after a refreshing bath, shaking the water from his body to and fro.

The morning dew greets me like that friendly dog.  Even when I feel lonely, one touch of the morning dew can change everything.

Guest Poster Slams Mommyblogger

Did you know that there are so-called “hate blogs” out there, that attack other bloggers, not only for their writing, but for the content and choices of their lives?  While some view this type of blog as horrendous and just plain nasty, I see these truth-seekers as important counterpoints in a blogging world so heavily tilted towards those with “power.”  Why shouldn’t another voice be heard?

GossipMaven is one of the more popular of these “hate-bloggers,” and a good friend of mine.  I respect her completely because she speaks her mind, consequences be damned.  I am honored to have her be a guest poster on my blog today.  Take it away, GossipMaven!

Thanks, Neil.  I am so grateful for this opportunity to take my views to a wider audience.

This is a post that MUST be read.  It is about that ubiquitous blogger that we call the “mommyblogger.” Let us be honest.  We all hate these people, but few of us are brave enough to speak publicly.  That is why Neil was kind enough to let me publish here, anonymously.

Enough is enough.  We must stop the insanity before this virus continues any longer.  The truth must come out, and I must NAME NAMES.  Mommybloggers are nothing more than uncreative hacks that use their own families for profit, mocking their so called “loved ones,” as IF they could ever truly love anyone other than themselves.

In my opinion, the most egregious of these mommybloggers is “Neilochka” of the blog “Citizen of the Month.”

At one time, years ago, his blog was mildly amusing.  Now, every other post is the same — and always about his MOTHER.  Monday, Mommy Blog, Tuesday, Mommy Blog, etc.  When did this once virile, confident man become such a momma’s boy — a MOMMYBLOGGER, always blogging about his mother, and exploiting this poor, hard-working woman for a few cheap laughs.  Whenever he runs out of material, he pulls his mother out of his hat, like a magician/therapy patient stuck in his latency period.

The story is always the same.  “Little” Neil is in some sort of trouble.  His “Mommy” shows to save the day.  Was it any surprise that his mother found the extra shower curtain?

Grow up, man!

This immaturity has turned this gray-chest-haired Peter Pan “boy” into a complete pervert.  He never comments on any blogs unless the blogger happens to be displaying a photo of her cleavage.

Sorry to tell you this, Neilochka, but you are too old to still be sucking on your Mommy’s tits!

And if he isn’t writing about his Mommy, he is writing about his dick.

What are you, Neilochka, — 12 years old?!

Writing about your “c*ck” all the time will not win you a date at BlogHer.  You just comes off as a desperate loser!  Women want a man who is CONFIDENT, not an insecure twirp still holding on his mother’s apron strings, singing the praises of the “juicy” brisket that she will make for Passover.

Your readers are fed up with you emailing them photos of what you promote on Twitter as “the greatest cock in the blogosphere.” As V-grrrl recently wrote in one of her posts, “I have received several of these photos, and if this is “the greatest cock in the blogosphere,” I have some investment ideas for you with this genius named Bernie Madoff.”

But I don’t really care about you, you slimeball.  You have dug your own hole and you deserve to sit in it, with nothing but your iPhone playing old episodes of “All My Children” all day.

I DO worry about your dear innocent mother, who once dreamed of you standing on the Senate floor, introducing a bill to ban poverty in America, but instead, has been reduced to the equivalent of a Rodney Dangerfield punchline.   One day, she will read these blog posts, or her friends with discover them online(you even use her REAL NAME, you imbicile!) and she will be mocked and ostracized by the others at her mah jongg game.

Mildred:  “Nice to meet you, Elaine.  My son is a doctor.  What does your son do?”

Elaine Kramer:  “My son writes about me.  He is a uh… Mommy Blogger.”

Thanks, GossipMaven.  You are always welcome back here at this blog to “tell it like it is!”

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