the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Matzoh Brei

matzoh

During Passover, you’re supposed to eat matzoh, symbolizing how the Israelites ran out of Egypt so quickly, they didn’t have time to leaven the bread.

The best Passover meal is not during the seder, but the next morning.  Matzoh brei is incredibly easy to make.  It is a cross between French Toast made with matzoh and an omelete.

I love matzoh brei.  If, for example, a beautiful woman invited me up to her apartment this week, and we made passionate love all night in her bedroom, I would wake up early the next morning to make her some Passover matzoh brei for breakfast, and after taking one bite, she would no doubt be praising the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Of course, since she praised the Lord several times last night in bed, when I went under the covers, maybe SHE should wake up early and make me the matzoh brei!

(Gimme a break!  Like the rest of you don’t promote yourselves all the time on your dumb blogs?  —  I wrote a book!  I went to a conference!  I met Dooce!   Blah Blah Blah.  — It’s time for me to promote myself!)

Caramelized Onion and Mushroom Matzoh Brei
(via Melissa Clark)

Time: 20 minutes

3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/3 cup diced onions
1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
2 boards(about 2 ounces) matzoh, broken into pieces
5 large eggs, lightly beaten

1. In a skillet over low heat, melt 2 tablespoons of the butter. Add the onions and cook, stirring, until caramelized, 5 to 7 minutes.
2. Add the mushrooms and raise the heat to medium-high. Continue to cook, stirring, until the mushrooms are soft, about 5 minutes. Season with plenty of salt and pepper.
3. Add the remaining tablespoon of butter to the pan and let it melt. Add the matzoh and cook, tossing to coat the matzoh in butter, for 2 minutes.
4. Pour the eggs into the pan and season them generously with salt and pepper. Cook, scrambling the mixture, until the eggs are set, about 2 to 3 more minutes. Season with salt and pepper and serve.

Serves 2

25 Comments

  1. Mary @ Holy Mackerel

    Sounds deeelish!!

  2. ingrid

    Matzoh Brei… the breakfast of lovers.

    Oh Yeah. I think Barry White should have made a song about this. I can hear it now…

    Maaaaaaaatzoh…
    Breeeeeeiiii…
    Oh yeahh….
    Say you want it baby…

    Maaaaaaaatzoh…
    Breeeeeeiiii…
    Oh yeahh….
    It’s comin’…
    It’s comin’ baby to your breeeeakfast table…

    Oh yeah…

    Food for loversssssss
    Is what we seek
    It isn’t flakey
    It isn’t sweet
    But it’s so saaaaavory
    It’s what we got…
    Matzoh Breeeeeiiiii,
    We like a lot.

    Sing it sisters:
    Maaaaaaatzoh….
    Maaaaatozoh man…
    Eaaaaaat it…
    While you can…

    Ahem… Sorry.

  3. Twenty Four At Heart

    Every time I think nothing you write could possibly surprise me ….

    I literally spewed my morning coffee all over my laptop monitor. I’m really proud of you Neil. It’s so good to hear you’re fantastic under the covers. Or should I say it’s fantastic you THINK you’re fantastic under the covers?

  4. churlita

    You’ll know you’re REALLY great in bed when all the women bloggers are promoting you on their blogs.

  5. Finn

    You cook, too?

  6. AnnieH

    You had me at “bread.” Uhmmmmmm, bread.

    Have a blessed Passover with hugs and smooches to all, and much pinching of cheeks:>).

  7. kenju

    That sounds wonderful! You don’t have a problem with too much humility, do you?

    LOL

    If every man was a good under the covers as he thinks he is – every woman in the universe would be bowing and scraping to you all the time!!

  8. tutugirl1345

    I actually just did a post on making Matzo Brei for the first time a week ago. This looks delicious, I’ll have to try it!

  9. Always Home and Uncool

    Breakfast will never be the same.

  10. lizriz

    That sounds delicious! I can’t believe I’ve never had it.

  11. catnip

    I never in a million years thought I would see a recipe on your blog.

  12. churchpunkmom

    Are you mocking me? Cause that would be rude.

    Still, that sounds tasty, and we might just have to give it a try.

  13. patty

    Dude. I’d totally do you for that matzoh brei.

  14. mommymae

    happy passover to you. our seder went over well and the cake was the best i’ve ever made. i had that for breakfast instead of matzo brei. maybe tomorrow…

  15. Neil

    The non-Jewish readers should get a box of matzoh while they are on sale at the supermarkets, if they have never had it. Matzoh is pretty good, and I think kids would like them because they make a mess. They have whole wheat ones also, but they are hard to find. I like the Israeli brands better than the American ones. They seem crisper.

  16. Aimee Greeblemonkey

    oh yum.

  17. Amy Sue Nathan

    I always call it Fried Matzah and for me it’s heaven w/ salt and grape jelly. No onions or mushrooms – that sounds like some meshuganah matzah brie to me. 😉

  18. teahouseblossom

    Yummy!

  19. leah

    you chickened out again.

  20. better safe than sorry

    happy passover! i’ve seen the matzoh in my grocery store year round but never tried it and i saw kosher coke in our grocery store this year for the first time, i guess that’s the beverage of choice?

  21. ACG

    Funny… The guy and I went to first Seder and the next morning I made him matzoh brie. He had never had matzoh balls or matzoh brie – guess its not big with the Sephardic. He loved both!

  22. Rhea

    Happy Passover! I’ve been to two seders and I am Passover-ed out!

  23. an9ie

    Sound great! Is there a sweet version of the recipe too?

  24. kimberlee

    that’s hot … all of it …

  25. Jody

    Did you hear? Oprah is a fan of Dooce and had Dooce on her show!

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