the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

For Gorillabuns

Sometimes, I feel like a phony online.  There are just too many people out there, and my superficial interactions are not satisfying.  When I get in this mood, I think I should just focus on a niche — like only reading ultra-serious “writer” types who see their blogging as career-building.  My first instinct is always to drop the traditional mommybloggers out of my life.  What do I have in common with them?  Nothing.  If we met, what could we talk about?  Nothing. All they care about is their children.

But then I remember that half of the people who I love and admire — and enjoy — online are these exact types of mothers.  How did it turn out this way?

Gorillabuns is a blogger from Oklahoma.

She and her husband, Rich, are about to have their third child, and I am participating in this surprise baby shower  for her (yes, a baby shower!) along with —

I’ve never been to a baby shower before, so I am very excited.  Do we do anything really fun, like get naked or give each other sex toys?  This is my chance to learn.

Like with most bloggers, I don’t remember how I met Gorillabuns.  Probably through Ms. Sizzle.  Blogging creates weird blogfellows.  What I like most about Shana is that she is funny.  There is nothing sexier to a man than a funny woman.  Some of the best moments with Gorillabuns did not occur on our blogs, but in emails — we’ve had some amusing discussions about subjects such as marriage, her obsession with rock bands, and especially — juicy blogger gossip.

Why do we connect to one person and not another?  Is it random?  Timing?  Or does each individual have a unique spark that you either see or you don’t?

If I were to follow the advice of ProBloggers, I would not have befriended Gorillabuns.  She is not in my “niche.”  I’m not sure I  even want my manly Citizen of the Month “brand” to be associated with a bunch of girls involved in a surprise blogger baby shower.

But, you know what — if I was practical about using blogging for career advancement, I would have missed out on the friendship and humor of Gorillabuns, who is one of the coolest people I have met online.

Gorillabuns, may your birth be an easy one (you certainly are experienced already!) and your baby as beautiful as the rest of your family.


  1. Headless Mom

    Very sweet Neil! Yes, blogging makes for strange blogfellows, but I think we would all agree that our lives are enriched because of it.

    Happy Baby Shower, Gorillabuns!

  2. Rhi

    I knew it! You’re only doing this to gain access to Top Secret Baby Shower Information!

  3. Neil

    Rhi — I think I made a mistake. The sex toys are for the wedding shower, not the baby shower… which is kind of ironic, because you would think you would need the sex toys more after a few years of marriage, not before the honeymoon.

  4. gorillabuns

    Neil, your sweet gift and thoughtful words mean the most because a) I know how much you loathe mommybloggers and b) you are secure enough in your masculinity to participate in such a supposed girly function c) and you look hot spinning the tunes for my virtual party!

    Thank you for sticking around my pad when most of the conversations as of late bore even me.

  5. 180/360

    Ah… Neil. I loved this! More guys should attend virtual baby showers!

  6. Kerri Anne

    Well, that was just super sweet. Here’s to online friends that don’t make “sense,” because in my experience those are the best kinds of friends anyway.

  7. LVGurl

    I was about to say… what do you mean you haven’t attended a baby shower? I saw you DJing. Whatever.

    Great post Neil. It says so much about Shana that many of us think so highly of her.

  8. punchlinewalking

    Bring on the sex toys and nakedness! What a great tribute to Shana (your post, I mean, not sex toys and nakedness)!

  9. Postmodern Sass

    Neil, I love you, but you talk to much about niches and branding and mommybloggers.

    –One of Your Strange Blogfellows

  10. sizzle

    I love that you are the only male at the party. I hate to break this to you though, there is usually no nudity at baby showers. Bachelorette parties maybe. Hey, if I ever get married (cough! no!) you can come naked to my virtual bachelorette party ok?


  11. carrisa

    Yes, I do believe that all of the baby showers I’ve been to have involved sex toys. What can I say, I have some really weird friends.

  12. Angella

    I’m glad you played along! I love Kim’s photo of you as the DJ 🙂

  13. anna

    Plus, it’s fun to say Gorillabuns.

  14. MammaLoves

    You always make me feel guilty for being a mom who blogs (aka a mommyblogger). Are we really that boring?

    I know I love you for the exact reasons you wrote this post.

  15. whoorl

    Shana is just as cool offline as she is on. Cheers, Shana!

  16. Sammanthia

    What a sweet post! I’ve never been to a baby shower where people actually get naked, so let me know how it turns out. A friend of mine is pregnant and I have no idea what to do for her shower… she wants something “different”. I bet she’d love this.

  17. apathy lounge

    May I say that my respect for you has increased simply because you’ve participated in something that is “outside of your niche”. You’re quite awesome, you know.

  18. kenju

    What headless mom said!

  19. Neil

    Postmodern — I talk too much about mommybloggers, because I have a fear that they ARE my niche.

    Mommaloves — You? Boring? It all depends on if I win that wii you are auctioning off on your blog.

    Sammanthia — frankly, baby showers seem a little dull, with all the baby clothes and stuff. The mother is going to be stuck with a crying baby for months. Why not give her a male stripper for some fun?

    Apathy Lounge — yeah, being the only male with a group of hot female bloggers is sooooo much work!

  20. anymommy

    Aw, look at that, you didn’t come back all sarcastic this morning, you wrote another sweet post. Maybe you actually have an honest to goodness sweet, caring side. Seems plausible.

    Also, you’d be bored if you dropped all your ‘mommyblogging’ friends. ‘Real’ writers are so serious.

  21. Fancy

    Awww, Neil, you are going to lose all your street cred if you keep this up. And I really hope you do. You keep evolving, and that is a good thing.

  22. kris

    If we didn’t want you to father our blog babies before, this post would certainly change our minds. Lovely.

  23. Annie

    Neil, you are too wonderful. And I totally agree with you, we meet and befriend people and who cares about the whole “niche” thing, in the long run it does not matter at all.

  24. Brenda-SeriouslyMama

    Very sweet, Neil. It’s nice to have friends outside of our typical comfort zones. Not all moms who blog are bad. Some of us do have fun, interesting lives even if we are knee deep in playdough and boogers. 😉

  25. Sherri

    I had the similar thought process, in that I never thought I’d have anything in common with Mommy/Daddy bloggers. The closest I have to a children is my 39 year old husband and our 10 1/2 year old Bulldog. [both of which, I am convinced, are way smellier than kids] Anyway, since beginning my blog, those are the exact niche of bloggers I’ve been drawn. I’m not sure it’s because I’m interested in reading about their kids per se, but more because when I read a post about one of their kids having diarrhea or projectile vomitting, I like to point and laugh.

  26. Gramps

    I hear ya. I DO have kids, and I don’t give a damn about ’em.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial