the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

A Little Disappointed

I am a little disappointed that I didn’t go to BlogHer.  I wish the real reason is that I felt too cool for it, like Woody Allen not going to the Oscars.   Or that the conference is really for women.  Or that all the marketing and networking is not my cup of tea.  When I sit down and think about it honestly, this is my theory:

I don’t feel emotional stable enough to deal with meeting a hundred people for the first time right now — all in one swoop.  I’d rather not meet some of you in person, then quickly chat with you for five minutes at a cocktail party before I move on to someone else.  It would just make me feel sad.

I met Caitlin and her husband, Billy, for pizza in Manhattan on Monday.  We talked for several hours, then took the subway together on our ways back home.  I really enjoyed that.

I chatted with SarcasticMom and Jane Devin last night.  I really enjoyed that. 

I dreamt about someone last night.  I really enjoyed that.

This weekend on Citizen of the Month:  Time again for the third annual BlogHim.  (BlogHim 2006, BlogHim 2007)


  1. better safe than sorry

    i don’t know, those five minute chats with someone you don’t know, those are actually easy, because you really are saying or asking basically the same things, small talk is nothing. i would think that if you’re still feeling emotionally unstable, it would be harder to meet someone and spend hours with them, i don’t think you’re as unstable as you think you are, but that’s just me.
    you don’t say who you’re dreaming about, i could guess, but i’m sure it wasn’t about me.

  2. Katebits

    I hear ya, Neil. Honestly, meeting hundreds of people from the internet all at once might be one of my worst nightmares even in my very best mental state. One-on-one (maybe two-on-one if I’m feeling saucy :D) is the way to go. Simple, intimate, and real.

  3. Finn

    I know what you mean. I need to really be able to focus on just a couple of “new” people at a time; it’s overwhelming having a list of people you want to see. Too much pressure!

  4. whoorl

    Neil! I had the weirdest dream about you last night! I was at your home, which was haunted by a ghost with a denim jacket (completely invisible except for the jacket – it was like a jacket floating around your house).

    That damn ghost was SO mean, and somehow got into my soul and I turned into a maniacal freak.

    It was SO bizarre.

  5. Neil

    Who cares about the stupid dream! The very fact that you – Whoorl – had a dream with me included is enough to make my day. Now I really wish I had gone to BlogHer. Maybe more women would have dreams about me, too. It just ain’t fair that I should be the one always dreaming about you.

    Whoorl — but don’t worry, that ghost was just playing around. He really wasn’t “mean.” Just a little insecure and shy.

  6. kateanon

    I’m too cool for it. Yeah, that’s it.

  7. Memarie Lane

    Why not a BlogEveryoneRegardlessofGender? Why is there so much segregation in blogging???

  8. Miss Britt

    This might surprise you –

    but I totally understand what you’re saying.

    I was really disappointed when I went to TequilaCon at how many people I just casually “met” before we all went on to the next person in the mingle line. It makes me sad too. It makes me wonder if people were disappointed in what they saw when they met me.

  9. Backpacking Dad

    Aw, how nice that you were dreaming about me.

    But dude. This guy? Taken. Sorry, bub.

  10. Turnbaby

    I get this–we went to a neighborhood social and dealt with this kind of thing.

  11. Danny

    But ISN’T the conference mostly for women? I can’t imagine feeling really part of such a thing and as you know, I’m someone who IS in touch with my feminine side!

    On the other hand, I guess your main reason for going would have been to meet a bunch of female bloggers and I suppose there’s no better venue on earth for that! Would you have sat through the actual conference? At the risk of making your readers hate me, I looked at the schedule and I admit I’d rather eat glass than attend most of those sessions. But I also see a few bloggers I know who are speaking, so I should shut up. Oy, and Dooce giving the closing keynote? YAAAAAAAAWN.

    Jesus, I’m obnoxious. Sorry.

  12. Neil

    Danny — But there is nothing similar like this for guys. The tech one – SWSX – in Austin is co-ed, but that seems a bit more serious-oriented. Also this is a good networking opportunity for female bloggers. There are so many more paid blogging opportunities for women and promotional tie-ins geared for them — especially for mommybloggers — and this is a good way to hear the word of mouth and get in on it.

    BlogHer will only get more powerful as they have gotten such heavy-hitter sponsorship from corporations like General Motors, who deparately need women customers to turn around their half-dead company. And just today, NBC’S iVillage announced a liason with BlogHer that will take it to new places in advertising and exposure.

    I think “daddys” are trying to do the same by forming “Dad networks.” You’re a Dad! You should network more.

    I think, for me, it might be smarter spending more time writing screenplays.

  13. Phil

    BlogHer, BlogHim, BlogMe, BlogYou,BlogEveryone I don’t care. Just need someone to help me get somemore traffic. I am killing myself out there for 50 people a day. Need NUMBERS.

    Sorry. It is hot, humid, we are on a break from ripping up carpet before we go on vacation. I am a little on edge.


  14. Neil

    Phil — this IS how people get traffic. Why do you think so many people go to these conferences?

  15. Phil

    Don’t people go to conferences to get drunk and have sex with someone that will hunt them down after they go home and kill their rabbit?


    That was a really bad movie. sorry. The heat….

  16. Lucy

    If you are up for meeting readers when visiting Minneapolis or Seattle, shoot me an E-mail! Though I’m a new reader and don’t know you at all, I enjoy meeting folks from the Internets . . . when the situation is controlled . . . and when my bodyguards are on the clock.

    And after reading about Phil’s traffic problem, I must pay his site a visit. I’m such a softy.

  17. Jennifer H

    I was only moderately disappointed not to be going to BlogHer, until yesterday when I found out that there are mad amounts of swag handed out. Now that’s disappointing. I wonder what’s in a bag of blogging swag?

    Probably some super-secret code that unlocks blog traffic. And maybe also a drug that makes women as skinny as Dooce.

    I am so going next year.

  18. Neil

    The swag is the least interesting part of BlogHer for me. I find the corporate attention pretty disturbing. Why don’t the corporations just give out scholarships to those women who can’t afford the thousand dollars it must cost go to the conference (plane, hotel, and conference) rather than piling on the crap? But it is cool how so many varied women meet under one roof.

  19. gorillabuns

    I have to admit, I felt so uncool last year. THIS was one of the reasons why I didn’t go again this year. oh, and I’m knocked up would be another reason.

  20. Neil

    Getting knocked up is the coolest.

  21. mr_g

    Actually, I think people used to go to conferences for the booze and sex. But with hookers on Craig’s List now, people really go for the show!

  22. Atomic Bombshell

    It’s good to be honest. That’s a totally understandable reason.

  23. Jane

    I’ll say it again because god knows I’m not short on opinion, but BlogHer sucks.

    I challenge you to 1) go find a post by a non-editor/BlogHer employee on their site, and then 2) find a post by a non-editor with more than 5 comments.

    There are a few but they are, without exception, the result of vigorous BlogHer networking and trades, e.g., you comment on mine, I’ll comment on yours.

    The non-blogging readers seem not to exist.

    BlogHer promotes itself as this very woman-promoting, open community, but you’ll never see anybody but the BlogHer staff on the front page. You’ll never see them promote something that’s not from themselves, or an advertiser. All the other “contributors” get buried, and quickly.


  24. Jennifer H

    Good thing I wasn’t serious. 😉

    Scholarships are a great idea. I also think they should choose a location that’s more central.

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