the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

What Blogger Women Say / What Real Women Say

What blogger women say:

1) The most important thing about a man is a sense of humor.

2) Be who you are. Wear two different color socks. It is part of your charm!

3) I want a man who listens to me.

What real women say:

1) He looks successful.

(via Communication Overtones)


  1. John

    Too bad blogger women only exist on my computer. : (

  2. Miss Britt

    Wait. I was supposed to be looking for someone with money?

    Where can I request a refund on the one I got?

  3. ingrid

    oh… and here i always wanted humorless clones who ignore me. they are easy lays. uninteresting, but easy.

  4. Alice

    oh dear. that’s fairly depressing, but i must admit, not all that shocking. moral: wear fancypants sunglasses?

  5. Memarie Lane

    I think they should have been asking the women a bit about their backgrounds as well, I think that has a lot to do with what they look for. I came from a poor family, and learned that money really isn’t necessary for happiness (although it would be nice!). So I married a poor man who looks like a chubby Brad Pitt. And he could care less about football or cars. 😛

    But I think someone who has been raised in a middle or upper class family would definitely be looking more at superficial wealth-indicative things like clothing. I liked him better in his t-shirt, when he’s all snazzed up he looks like someone who yells at waitresses and makes ridiculous dedmands of baristas.

  6. Neil

    Forget this post completely. I can dress any crappy way I want. Being TALL trumps all. Going out to get laid RIGHT NOW. I’m six feet tall!

  7. Neil

    Reading up more on the subject. Sorry men — despite the rumors, our big abs, our big penises, and our big cars just don’t give us that much of an advantage. Focus on the bank account, stretching your height, or getting yourself on a TV show (or write something for the New Yorker magazine for the literary-minded babes)

  8. Michele

    I loved his accent more than anything. I thought it was adorable.

    That “first impressions” thing was very telling. Isn’t it interesting how people can’t help but judge on your clothing and how you carry yourself?

  9. mp

    I think you could wear Tshirt and jeans and still be sexy..but it’s what T shirt and what jeans.. He looked frumpy..but I thought he was cute..I love the bald head. I can’t believe i married a guy w/ hair.

  10. kanani

    My son, age 17, just got dumped by his girlfriend for never having enough money.

  11. wendy

    Women are attracted to beauty…yawn. I think it says TONS about me that your dessert post had my mouth watering…

    Think of it this way….perhaps you will buy a pastry because it looks pretty…or comes from the ritzy shop….and you may even eat it.. once or twice…

    but you won’t crave it unless it tastes really good….no matter where it came from…or how it looks.

    Just make sure all you ingredients are real, and you should be fine, in the long run.

  12. Miguelina

    I think the problem in the first video is the short-sleeved tee over the long-sleeved tee – it makes him look like a toddler.

    I hated the sunglasses. Gah.

  13. kenju

    Apparently, clothes DO make the man!

  14. V-Grrrl

    I think money matters, not as status per se but as a reflection of values, education, goals, stability, ability to pay for health insurance : ) Can you tell I’m in my 40s? : )

    Some money is good–too little or too much is a concern for this Grrrl, but not a deal breaker.

    Clothes, hmmm I have preferences yeah. Grooming, yeah, that matters.

    Physical attraction depends a lot on personality. There was a guy who was at least an inch shorter than me, a little round, but who I found very sexy. I remember with great fondness a relationship with a very quiet, low key guy who was sculpted like a statue by Michelangelo and had NO CLUE how physically perfect he was. I’ve found big manly, chunky guys attractive, and when I tell my husband I think his body is perfect, I mean it. Emotional attachment and connection–a big part of how I “see” someone sexually.

  15. margalit

    I saw that show on PBS a while ago and it was pretty interesting. But you have to remember that not all women are attracted to the same kind of guy. I LIKE nerdy guys. Not weird nerdy, engineer nerdy. Writer nerdy. Introverted nerdy. To me, I’d rather have someone I can talk to about a myriad of topics than some David Beckham clone that has absolutely nothing to say but is a champion preener.

    Plus, I’ve learned the hard way that money doesn’t buy happiness. Ever.

  16. margalit

    Guess my son is going to luck out with the babes. He’s already 6’1 and just started his growth spurt. He’s going to end up between 6’4 and 6’6. Me, I think that’s TOO tall, but what do I know. I’m only 5’9″. Oh, and a girl!

  17. Nedra

    There’s a big difference, though, between looking at a man in a shop window and making assumptions about him, versus actually meeting and talking to someone and forming your impressions that way. Of course a well-dressed man is more attractive than a shlub. But if the well-dressed guy is a boring jerk and the shlub is a sweet funny guy, personality trumps all (at least to me). I think it just means that when you are in a situation where first impressions are important in order to get to the next step of actually talking to someone, dress decently. But once she’s talking to you, your personality is what will carry you. And if a woman is looking only at the physical or $, then that’s not the kind of woman you’d want anyways, right?

  18. Neil

    I have a feeling that whoever the man is, if he buys a woman a good cannoli, he can get laid.

  19. Danny

    Fascinating video but oh so depressing. I dress like Paul in the “before” section. I also watched the height clip and I’m doomed there as well. Good thing I’m already married!

  20. melanie

    I can’t see that. *pouts*

    did anyone ask, does he make a good cannoli? because when you finally get out of bed you gotta eat. 🙂

  21. Kellyology

    As a Blogger woman I don’t think I’ve said any of those things. But I will tell you what I want now in a 2nd husband–money, at death’s door, and no children to muss up the will. Oh, and he has to laugh at my jokes. All of that, and I might consider getting rid of the 1st hubby who, BTW, I wish dressed as well as the guy in the video before he was made over. What? A girl can dream can’t she?

  22. Christine

    Okay, as a woman who blogs I’m pretty *sure* I’m real. But I’ve been wrong before! Like that time I thought I made a mistake (sorry, couldn’t resist).

    Anyway, I TOTALLY thought he was waaaaay cuter before the makeover. I would have guessed that he was self-employed in a creative field. He just had an intelligent glint in his eye.

    After the makeover, I thought he looked like a smarmy dick. Maybe if the sunglasses were off I’d have a different opinion, but unnecessary sunglasses always make me think someone is hiding something (like the lack of an intelligent glint).

    Also, there are several factors that the scientist in me cannot help but want to explore. Like, just how many women were interviewed, and was there enough to really extrapolate results?

    Also, was the sampling at all random…or was there some male psychology involved there as well?

  23. Jane

    Wow Neil, you really do have the best comments section ever! Loved so many of the answers here (hey Wendy, hey V-Grrrl, hey Nedra!).

    Okay, I’ve never said #1, #2, or #1, part two. I believe looks don’t matter unless they do. It’s about chemistry. There are people I’ve dated and who dated me that were a complete surprise, but something clicked and well, there we were.

    I’ve dated from almost every social and cultural group there is, and most successfully from the middle class. Rich people, by and large, annoy me. Wealth seems to bring a disregard for money that just sets my nerves on edge — and buying anything for a label or brand-name makes me want to scream.
    As for height, well. I just like someone who’s an inch or two within my own. I like my targets within easy reach. 😉

    Lastly, damn you and your freaking desert post. How malicious can you be! I know you only posted that after reading about my quest to get in shape. I might totally hate you now. I’ll forgive you in the next three posts though, because I’m easy that way.

  24. LiteralDan

    In the second part of the video, they should have had the guy holding a big fat wallet in his hand, to really skew the results.

    I think women figure if the guy turns out to be a jerk, at least they’ll have gotten a free meal at a nice restaurant, as much as a guy figures that if his date turns out to be crazy/annoying/a space cadet, he’ll at least get laid for his trouble. Both are probably equally accurate assumptions– these are common tools used by people making up for something.

  25. AnnieH

    Back in the day we just wanted someone who could make us laugh. That, AND an accent, I’m head over heels:>)

  26. srah

    It looks to me like it’s all about confidence. He feels more confident when he’s dressed up and the women pick up on that.

    But shopping for a guy in a shop window is not a realistic situation.

  27. anymommy

    I have zero thoughts. That’s what happens when you’ve been together with the same guy since you were sixteen. He is tall?!

    Wait. I do have a thought – I don’t buy it. It’s like the plot to that movie with Will Smith. Dumb. Hitch?

  28. Anonymous City Girl

    the first “in the window” look was just bland. i didn’t like the makeover look cause you couldn’t see his eyes.

    he was totally attractive when he was was smiling and laughing with the interviewer. he seemed warm, friendly, and approachable. he would def be a guy i would be drawn to and wouldn’t feel weird about striking up a conversation with.

  29. anon

    oh these things are silly. just like sartorialist. suits are an easy get up, and he had that jeremy priven thing going on in it. of course he is going to get more women worked up on the suit day than slacker day.

  30. piglet

    as you know, getting laid is the easy part. getting into her heart is the almost impossible feat.

    i agree that tall men have an easier time at certain actions than others.

  31. Neil

    I’m glad to read these comments. What a relief. This means I don’t have to shave or shower before I show up to BlogHer.

  32. Jeannette

    I’m personally only turned on by large quantities of blog hits. Or New Super Mario Brothers high scores.

    Ok, and skinny guys in suits and sunglasses.

  33. Neil

    Jane — Rich people annoy you?! for now, we can be friends. But, one day, I hope to be very annoying.

    Srah — Actually, I think shopping for a guy in a shop window is a great business idea. Women love shopping.

    Jeannette — I’m not that good at Super mario Brothers, but I have recieve some pretty damn good scores at Ms. Pac-Man back in my day.

  34. srah

    Great idea, yes. Currently in practice, and therefore realistic? No. I have often thought there should be some sort of catalogue where you could put in the criteria you’re looking for…

  35. Kathy

    Clothes make the man, eh? I actually like the layered tees.

    (Though I would have guessed he works in IT and was a huge D&D fan in jr. high or probably still is, not “He looks like he works in a shop.”)

  36. Neil

    Kathy — I agree. Maybe it is a British fashion thing.

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