I apologize about the last two self-indulgent posts.Â But I like them.Â You have to remember, before I met Sophia, I was just some dorky guy who collected international postage stamps.Â Sophia taught me not to wear white socks with shoes.Â I taught her important TV trivia, such as how Vivian Vance and William Frawley didn’t get along very well during the taping of “I Love Lucy.”Â Â
Most importantly, women were demystified.Â I saw one buying a bra, having a period, kvetching over the wrongÂ brand ofÂ Rocky RoadÂ ice cream.Â “Dreyers, not Breyers!”Â And I finally learned where my handsÂ were supposed to go.Â
Then I started blogging and interacting with hot women from around the world.Â Is it really a surprise that every other post is about sex?Â Â I’m sorry.Â What can I do?Â Â If I just write stories, my blog is well-written, but superficial.Â But if I really dig down deep and write about what is weighing on my mind — oral sex — then, where is this post going…?
I think I’m ready to be re-introduced to the world.
Remember, this blog is about my mind.Â It is akin to therapy.Â IÂ like Neilochka.Â Â I wantÂ to integrate this more interesting version of myself into reality.Â Â This Neilochka takes off his shirt onÂ blog posts andÂ makes women scream with pleasure.Â Â This is NOT the NeilÂ who is afraid of putting advertising on his blog because then “people won’t like him.”Â
This Neilochka has confidence.Â HeÂ says what he thinks.Â Â So, if I haven’t been commenting on your blog lately, I’m not going to lie anymore and say I’ve beenÂ busy… boo hoo.Â It’s because your blog is BORING AS HELL and I get more bang for my buck by commenting on some big-name blogger or some chick who might give me some!Â
(You know that I’m onlyÂ joking, right?Â I love you.Â Especially my male readers.Â You know where I’m coming from, right?Â I’m going to comment right now.Â Twice.Â Â Don’t hate me.Â Ever. Â I was just trying to be funny)Â
Damn.Â I’m never going to change.Â Luckily, my therapist, Brenda, gave me her phone number so I can call her from New York.