I’m sorry I was such an insecure woman yesterday.Â I’ll try to be a better woman next year during “Write Like the Opposite Sex Day.”Â Â A woman that will make you proud.Â That you will want to befriend.
Next time, maybeÂ I’ll be Janet, a strong-willed female poet, a single mother living in the South.Â
“I come from from Mayflower stock, but there are demons in my past.Â Â I live in a great big ‘ol house that my late father owned.Â I loved my father and was heart-broken when he died.Â I dote on my son, watching him grow up to be a man.Â My best poems are about death.”
Another possibility is Kendra, a fashion model living in Paris.
“I’m very flamboyant.Â I’m cold to other womenÂ Â I’m confident, knowing that I’m idolized by everyone.Â I’m knock-out gorgeous and my face is on magazine covers. Even though I’m not supposed to,Â I eat pastries.Â Â I have two big secrets — I don’t like people.Â Or modeling.”Â
Â I’d probably be most happy as Angie — a playful, small town waitress in Vermont.Â
“Some may say I am a child at heart.Â On Fall mornings, I run outside, still in my pajamas, and jump into the colorful leaves, much as I did when I was a tomboy at seven.Â I’m plain-looking, but don’t worry about it.Â I have a “good personality,:” as my mother would say.Â IÂ have three lovers.Â I have sex five times a week.Â Â Last night, I was with Tom, the chef from The Tamarick Cafe.Â I loved feeling his calloused hands on my ass as I moaned deeply into his strong manly chest.Â In the morning, I drank my coffee, rode him again until I came, and then went to play in the leaves.Â If I had more money, life would be perfect.”
On Friday, several of you wrote blog posts “written as the opposite sex.”Â They were all funny.Â But we all made the same mistake — we reached for stereotypes.Â Â I’m curious if we would have hadÂ more realistic results if weÂ just wrote our regular blog posts,Â then changed a few gender-specific words here and there?Â Â Â
Are we really thatÂ different in the way we write?
And seriously — do women really see men as such gruff horn-dogs?!Â
For me, Christine’s post came “closest” toÂ being one actuallyÂ written by a man.Â Â As the winner of my first real “contest” on “Write Like the Opposite Sex Day,” she wins a DVD ofÂ the movie classic, Tootsie!
A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:Â Good Humor