the writing and photography of Neil Kramer


I’ve been sleeping in the living room for the last few weeks.  On Saturday, I woke up a 3AM and I couldn’t handle it anymore.  I’m a man, with manly needs.  I climbed the stairs to the bedroom.  I was naked.  I pushed open the door, my body tense with want.  I slid into the bed.   Sophia woke up.

“What are you doing here?”  she asked.

I didn’t care if she protested.  I was getting what I came for, even if I had to take it with force.

“No one’s hugged me in a month.” I said.  “Do you know how unhealthy it is for a man not to get hugged?  I read that male babies — if they don’t get hugged after they are born — just die.”

“You were supposed to have moved out already.”

“I am moving out.  But do you really want me to die?”

“You’re not a baby who needs to be hugged.  Well… maybe you are.”

“If you don’t want to hug, I can just go back downstairs.  I know plenty of hot women who will give me a hug on Facebook.”

“OK, shut up and I’ll hug you.”

We hugged.

“But will you set up Dance Dance Revolution on the wii tomorrow?” she asked.


(in retrospect, the hugging may have not been a good idea, considering the argument the next day, after neither of us could figure out how to use Dance Dance Revolution)


  1. TRO

    Neil, you should attend one of these “cuddle parties” for all your hugging needs.

    I posted about them at my blog by the way, noting that most men can’t cuddle without getting a boner – it’s science.

    Now, admittedly you are the sensitive, intellectual type, but I’ve read what some of what your penis posts and I am pretty sure he would go crazy after five minutes and get you both kicked-out.

    Still, that’s five minutes of hugging.

  2. Mr. Fabulous

    I have been aching to hug you. Curse the miles between us!

  3. ingrid

    I so get what you are writing about.

    When I first moved here from Canada, I didn’t even fully realize what I was missing until a friend came to visit. When she hugged me in the airport I almost started sobbing. I hadn’t been touched in months. It was wonderful.

    Touch is so important.

  4. Annie

    Neil, I so want to hug you, but I am miles away, here is an internet hug,
    ((HUG)), better than nothing.

  5. sizzle

    We seriously do need human contact. It makes us go mental without touch.

  6. Roadchick

    After I got divorced, I noticed that other than a hug from my kiddo or an occasional hug from a friend, no one had touched me in YEARS. And that was the point that I felt like I was dying. It was also the point that I figured I’d better start dating again. I think you’ve got science on your side.


  7. Kerri Anne

    Hugs are SO essential. I believe that more than I believe in most things.

  8. Nat

    I think scientific research has shown that babies are much stronger and thrive better (that’s the wrong word) when they are hugged and cuddle. I rekcon it’s good for us grown ups too. 🙂

  9. turnbaby

    I’ve got the movers coming in 8 days. I know he’ll want a hug–which is fine. I also know he’ll cry —which is not. But it will be okay.

  10. Joe Crawford

    Your personal life is fascinating!


  11. Artful Kisser

    Nothing heals emotional wounds like a hug. I couldn’t live without them.

  12. Backpacking Dad

    I might hug you, but dude: put on some pants.

  13. melanie

    I would send my robotic arms to do it, but they were needed in Afghanistan.

    Hope you are dance dance dancing away now. Hugs in the future maybe? just cuz.

  14. sa_scully

    Sorry about the fight, but I would have gotten the hug anyway, too. We’re people. The weird thing is that we both need each other and at the same time drive each other to insanity.


  15. natalie

    that has to be the sweetest thing ever. i am a touchy person…i think i would die without it. next time i am in so cal i would be happy to give you a hug!

  16. miguelina

    Facebook hugs suck. I’m glad you got the real thing.

  17. Non-Highlighted Heather

    Since everyone else has the hugs covered, I’ll come over and set up DDR for you.

  18. Jody

    Guitar Hero is so much fun on the Wii and you get just as much exercise too!

  19. Ginormous Boobs

    All fights need to be settled by Wii bowling.

  20. claire

    I haven’t played DDR on the Wii, but I can probably answer any q’s you may have.

  21. cruisin-mom

    Neil, buy me a donut…I’ll give you a hug

  22. -RM

    Dude, that was depressing. I hope shit gets better for you.

  23. Bec

    You really are a sweetheart.

  24. churlita

    I went four years without dating, so I totally understand the need for a hug from the opposite sex. I’m glad you got yours.

  25. HeyJoe

    Hug this.

  26. Karl

    Nothing like hugs, that’s for sure.

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