the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

We’re Dancing with the Stars


Sophia got us the hottest tickets in town — today’s taping of the finale of “Dancing With the Stars.”  We need to dress up, first, because they make you, and second, because we notice that only the good-looking people get the seats next to Donny Osmond.    I’m still deciding between wearing a suit or going barechested with suspenders, like Maxim Chmerkovskiy.   Either way, keep your eye out for a banner that reads “Go Marie” on one side, and “2007 Blogger Chrismahanukwanzaakah Holiday Concert — December 10th, on the other.”  Hey, they’re always plugging ABC’s shows, why not me?  You notice that “The Bachelor” just happens to be in the audience the week before the show’s finale? 

Look for us in the audience.


  1. Danny

    I’m rooting for Marie Osmond all the way, She and I were practically born on the same day and she moves damn well for a 48-year-old who’s had eight kids. I can’t wait to read the full report–just be grateful Ryan Lavery is long gone.

    (P.S. That “outfit” above is SO repulsive. And who is he dancing with–Diana Ross?)

  2. better safe than sorry

    i had a HUGE!!!!! crush on donny osmond when i was a teen, i think i’d probably act like a silly school girl even today if i ever met him.
    enjoy the show!

  3. Jennifer

    I have never watched the show before, but I just might have to tune in tonight!! I vote barechested with suspenders!!

  4. nabbalicious

    Oh, wow. I’m SO jealous! However, I cannot root for Marie Osmond. I like her but she’s nowhere near as good a dancer as the people who are left (and Jennie Garth for that matter)!

    I’ll definitely look for you guys! Have a great time!

  5. patois

    Why don’t you dress like the Diana Ross look-alike (before her horrid plastic surgeries)?

  6. Dagny

    My mom would be jealous.

  7. Ellen Bloom

    FYI: Max, in the photo above, is dancing with his partner from last year’s show, Laila Ali (boxer and daughter of The Champ).

  8. wendy

    UH! no fair! NO FAIR..Ok, though probably for the when I watch at home usually at some point I feel compelled to change the channel or gag..over some smooze or another..I like the dancing..but the gushing, yeck.

  9. Bec

    Dancing With The Stars has to be better than it’s crazy aunt Strictly Come Dancing – which is not, as some have thought, a correctly spelled weird S&M dance contest… it would probably be more interesting if it was! (Is she still in it) Go Mel!

  10. Michele

    TV shows are so much fun! Have a blast.

  11. Los Angelista

    Oh wow! Y’all are going to have an amazing time. I wasn’t going to watch but now I will and I’ll definitely look for your sign. I’m rooting for my girl Mel B but if not her, Marie all the way!

  12. OMSH

    I’m strangely repulsed by that bare-chested man in the photo.


  13. Caron

    It’s been a good day for publicity in Mn. I’m sending you good pr vibes!

  14. Lisa

    We watch the show every week so we’ll be sure to keep an eye out for you and your hot lady!

  15. cruisin-mom

    Oh My Gawd Neil…I’m so jealous I can hardly see straight. Now I definitely must meet you and Sophia in person…just so we can dish about the show.

  16. mckay

    how fun! i’ll definitely be looking for you two!!

  17. Pants

    Thank you for giving me a reason to watch “Dancing With the Stars.” I look forward to seeing your barechested suspender suit. It would make a smashing Chrismahanukwanzaakah Holiday greeting card.

  18. churlita

    How awesome is that? I just may have to watch that show for the first time tonight.

  19. Neil

    Update: I’ll write about the show later, but the most interesting thing in my opinion: the real star of the show is the EDITING. The dances looks so much more vibrant on TV because of all the cutting. And I won’t even get into all the phony standing ovations, etc. But it was fun… somewhat, except for all the waiting….

    Afterwards, Sophia and I stopped at the 99 Cent Store to buy some batteries, still wearing our best clothing, and the check-out girl asked if we were going to our “prom” — so that was the best part of the evening.

    And, if you slowed down your Tivo to the one specific freeze frame half-way in, you might see the top of my head.

  20. Inarticulate Fumblings

    O.k., I won’t be rooting for Marie Osmond but I will be watching for you!

  21. Rach

    Don’t even get me started on this subject Neilochka, it has taken over our lives. Friday night is the U.S. one, Saturday night we have our one, then our results show on sunday. OUR WHOLE WEEKEND IS SCREWED. My honeys (kids) and I have been watching your re-runs on YouTube and I love…….
    Macks and Leila – that woman kicks some ass
    Macks and Mel – obviously
    Helio and Julianne – just bloody brilliant

    but the ultimate and absolute winner of all time has to be

    JOEY AND KIM. We nearly had to go into therapy when he came second, that shows you the kind of life we lead, winter in the Uk for you.

    Anyway, re. the pic – my personal view is that Macks has just farted and isn’t sure whether he has ‘followed through’ or not.

    So need updates, dances when you held up the GO MARIE sigh and your blatent agenda flogging on the other side, that way we can scour YouTube for you!

  22. TRO


    Now you have FORCED me to watch this show when I have managed to NEVER watch it before. My wife and a neighbor are BIG fans though and talk like little school girls on the phone while the show is on. Since they are both big chested brunettes I usually just fantasize that they are discussing bra and panty tickle fights though.

    Anyway, I will be watching tonight. Hope to see you.

    BTW, my wife still has the hots for Donny Osmond. If he will take her off my hands I would be grateful. Tell him to give me a call and I will make him a good deal.

  23. La Belette Rouge

    I am totally rooting for Marie. Even though her routine last night was terrifying. What were they thinking? I loved her when she was a little country and I loved her little bit rock and roll brother. I’ll be looking for the top of your head!!

  24. Leaf, probably...

    Barechested. You pretty much HAVE to go barechested.

  25. plain jane

    Since when does ANYONE like Maria & Donny? ET was on in the background the other night (or some equally ridiculous program) and they kept doing a tease, “…the secret about Maria and Donny Osmond.” I didn’t hang around to hear it but I assume it was that they had decided to give up the charade and get married.

    I would have watched it had I known what channel it was on…must not be on my favorites. Thank goodness my laziness spared me from sights like the bare-chested male dancer. Yikes!

  26. gorillabuns

    dude, i didn’t see you in your prom gear.

  27. mdiez

    bud nice!

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