the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

The State of NaBloPoMo vs. Neilochka

court.gif

Bailiff: The State of NaBloPoMo vs. Neilochka!

Prosecution:  Your honor, On October 31, as part of NaBloPoMo, Neil “Neilochka” Kramer signed a contract stating that he would write a blog post every day in November.   On November 9th, he wrote a lame misogynist “post,” if you can even call it a post, on his blog, Citizen of the Month, which was about him sleeping with six women at once.   Hoping that the post might inspire some female blogger to actually offer herself on Saturday night to being part of the experiment, Mr. Kramer decided to keep the post displayed on top of the front page for an additional day, during November 10th.   Thus, the same post was displayed on two separate days, disqualifying him from being an active participant in NaBloPoMo.   However, he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions, and willingly continues to post to his NaBloPoMo site.   We have no other solution but to take legal action.   Thank you.

Judge: Neilochka, your response.

Neilochka:  Thank you, your honor.   I will be representing myself.   Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.   Every morning, I wake up and do a little reading.   And what do I read?   Blogs?   Email?   No, the Good Book itself.   In Genesis, God creates the world in six days, and rests on the seventh. Did he really create the world in six day?   Or does his “six days” represent something much different?  Some scholars think that God’s six days can be thousands of years in human years, which helps us unify the worlds of religion and evolutionary science.

Many in the blogging community consider me a “God” as a blogger, one who operates under his own rules.   After all, isn’t my blog my own creation, one that comes forth from myself?   When I accepted my commitment to NaBloPoMo, I DID say that I would blog every day in November.   But WHO is to say that your “day” is the same as my “day?”   Perhaps my day is actually TWO of your days?   Why should God get a free pass in creating the world in “six days,” when I have to follow your cliched idea of what a “day” means?

Clearly, the only explanation is that those who insist that I be expelled from NaBloPoMo are the same people who hate God, and everything good in the world.   Do you really want to be one of those people?

I rest my case.

32 Comments

  1. Caryn

    Define “is”.

    I wonder when the sentencing is?

  2. LVGurl

    Yes, you are a blog god. Whatever you deem as a ‘day’ is whatever you make it. I just hope the gods of PabloHoMo don’t sue.

  3. Lisa

    Take no shame in NaBloPoMo expulsion. It’s not so bad, over here. I happen to be wearing jeans and a tshirt, but some people are getting really into it- breaking out their old “sexy devil” halloween costumes. Come to the dark side!

  4. abbersnail

    Not only are you a blogging god, but I think the God Above would applaud you for following His laws to the letter.

  5. Angella

    Brilliant.

    🙂

  6. Hilly

    Well once you bring God and his seventh day into it, who the heck can argue with you? Very smart, indeed 😉

  7. Bre

    So what’s the verdict?

  8. Rach

    You have to be bloody kidding? Seriously? Well they should take a long walk off a short pier, you don’t need that honey. Good rant though, I like the fact you considerately argue their point, but seriously? Words fail me, oh and I have PMT which would explain my hostility to NanPoBlo…..MoFo! What do they know anyway.

  9. scarlet hip

    You are so fucked.

  10. Caron

    Here I thought your excuse would be that you’d actually found six women to assist in your experiment. God rested after six days, Neil after six dames.

  11. psychomom

    But WHO is to say that your “day” is the same as my “day?”

    Totally agree, in my Nanoblome world 9 days equals 10 minutes.

  12. patois

    You’re toast. Of the leavened sort, I think. Good argument, though.

  13. OMSH

    I had something to say…it was quite witty and even a tad succinct, but then Weird Science came along.

    And now? I’m … I don’t know.
    Dumbfounded?

  14. Not Fainthearted

    I never get spam like that….

    So, does this mean you’re giving up? Even after I practically GAVE you a post idea by writing a meme with you in mind???

  15. teahouseblossom

    Well, you set a high bar for yourself, and I don’t think any less of you for falling just short of perfection. You’ll always be the God of blogging to me.

  16. Dagny

    I didn’t sign up because as an Empress I refuse to let others to set my schedule. I mean, I’m an Empress after all. I define everything around me. Forget what those other fools say. It’s all about the man trying to get you to buy into the system if you ask me.

  17. CP

    Even God rested on Sunday. I think, as Jews, we should get the Sabbath off, don’t you think? There. The religious route. Problem solved.

    By the way, six women? Oy.

  18. Juliness

    Well said. Bravo!

  19. Jo

    HA! No prizes for you, more prizes for ME! HA!!

  20. di

    Lol, I deleted my commitment – there’s barely any sign I was a Nablopomo blogger, which is good because I can never remember how to spell it and had to scroll 2 or 3 times to get it written here.

  21. better safe than sorry

    our justice system is a bit different here, but i gotta vote guilty.

  22. PocketCT

    Are there really NaBloPoMo police? Maybe you can start a club of NaBloPoMo renegades called NaNoSoBloMe. I am all for leaving posts up for longer if you love them.

    Blog Crush of the Day? Really? Me? Awww thanks, I’m flattered and totally swooning.

  23. kapgar

    I find you not guilty of crimes against the blogging community! Feel no shame! Stick your middle finger up in the face of NaBloPoMoSnoJoFroGo and tell it where it can stick it!

  24. churlita

    I’m still kicking, but it’s not about quality with me. It’s all about quantity. I think you try to hard to entertain everyone for free. You could have written about what you ate that day or a different sexual fantasy you had…Or are you just stuck on that one?

  25. MammaLoves

    But the real question is was it worth it? Did you find your six women with your post up that extra day?

  26. Nance

    Shameless plagiarism from “Inherit the Wind.” There goes your Pulitzer.

  27. fringes

    I skipped Saturday. Felt good.

  28. Erin

    Um…I know I was pissed. I organize my blogroll by frequency of posts… You are at the top for a reason. You let me down, Neil. You let us ALL down. Now feel bad about it. Feel VERY VERY BAD. You’re a BAD BOY.

  29. Bec

    I’m feeling benevolent… so I vote Not Guilty and released on time served… or something.

  30. Elisabeth

    Answer to that last question on your entry, Neil: No fucking way!

  31. savia

    Can you defend me as well? As of tomorrow, I’m going to need a good NaBloPoMo lawyer, stat.

  32. Sarcomical

    even if you lose the case, congratulations on making me laugh at 3:45am. 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial