Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Fearless the Cat

felix2.jpg

I fell asleep in the living room last night and had some sort of nightmare. I would tell you what it was about, but I’m trying to be more honest in my writing, and I don’t remember it at all. I rarely remember my dreams.

I climbed upstairs to the bedroom and slid into Sophia’s bed. She was sleeping and mumbled something about me “waking her up.” I lay there in that half-sleep, half-awake state when the mind seems to be at the most volatile and creative. I had some amazing insightful thought about my life, so important that it was worthy of waking Sophia up for a second time.

“You know what my problem is.” I announced. “I think other people are “bigger” — more important than me — and I’m too “small.” I should think of myself as a giant to compensate. Someone fearless. A fearless giant.”

“Huh? A what?” moaned Sophia, groggily.

“…fearless giant.”

“Felix Giant?”

“Fearless Giant!”

“Felix Giant?  I thought it was Felix the Cat.”

“I’m not talking about Felix the Cat.”

“Isn’t Felix the Cat a cartoon?” she asked with her eyes still closed.

“It is.”

“I’ve never seen it. Is it funny?”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it, either. It’s a pretty old cartoon.”

“So, Felix the Cat was a giant?” she slurred.

“Forget Felix the Cat. What I said was “Fear-less Giant.” I want to feel bigger. Not afraid.”

“Oh.”

Sophia rolled over and went back to sleep.

“You want to have sex?” I asked.

“Zzzzzzzz.”

A Year Ago on Citizen of the MonthMy Brilliant Literary Career

38 Comments

  1. At least you ask first.

  2. How’s that therapy working out? 😉

  3. Sex and cats, are you sure you didn’t mean Fritz the Cat?

  4. What we have here, is a failure to communicate…

    Personally, anyone who knows me whouldn’t try to have an earnest conversation with me when I’m half-asleep. It sounds like Sophia is the same way.

    Maybe you should write down your epiphanies and wait to share them with Sophia until she’s had her morning coffee. Unless, you need good blog fodder, because this was a funny post.

  5. “Felix the cat
    The wonderful wonderful cat
    You’ll laugh so hard
    Your sides will ache
    Your heart will go pitter-pat
    Watchin’ Felix – the wonderful cat.”

    These lines have meant a great deal to me over the years. Only in retrospect would I realize their influence on my own writing.

    And Hey, it’s not THAT old, OK?

  6. You crack me up. that sounds like something that would happen to us. Although it only goes one way, he’s not allowed to wake me but I’m allowed to wake him. lol

  7. Maybe that whole episode WAS the nightmare, with the scary part being when Sophia said no…

  8. i was just reading an article about finding “your song”. . . you’re supposed to remember a time when you felt on top of the world, invincible and on fire in/about your life. pick a song and use it whenever you need bolstering. sing it, play it, hum it, BE it. what would your song be, neil? your song that would make you feel like the fearless giant you long to be?

  9. Wait… you guys still sleep together? You’re making my head hurt – which I guess takes my mind off my achilles.

    Thanks for dropping by.

  10. Your struggles must be painful but they are very humorous indeed! And why do you feel that way anyway? I know I have said this many a time but you are one of my favorite blog writers. You judge yourself very harshly fellow bloggie, and I wish you wouldn’t!

  11. I went to see “FRITZ the Cat” at a drive-in movie theatre with a sleazy date when I was 18, needless to say, I can’t tell you much about that movie!

    And yes, inquiring minds DO want to know how the counseling is going.

  12. Hey, Fearless Giant, I am thinking of going back to school to become a Family and Couples Therapist. This post just might have convinced me to do just that.

  13. Speaking of Latina friends: did anyone watched yesterday that Ballroom dancing competition?
    Noticed how half of the dancers were Russians (or Ukrainians, or Jewish Russians and/or Ukrainians)?
    And when the Latin Dance category came up, the host announced “These are the best Latin Dancers in the whole country”?
    That was the moment to define the whole sad bruhaha…

  14. ooops, that was supposed to be sent to the previous post

  15. Not that old? Felix the Cat had his heyday in the Silent Era although there were some later cartoons that us baby boomers watched on TV. His theme song is burned into my brain. Oy…is that “my song?”

    I hope you find your Fearless Giant. I’m looking for mine too…

  16. absolutely it reminded me of Fritz the CAT!!

  17. It does take bravery to ask for sex and continually get rejected. To be fair… cartoon talk isn’t that much of a turn on, unless Sophia is a fan of adult swim or something…

  18. Seeing as I rarely remember my own dreams, I’m going to call that a “sign of overwhelming intelligence.”

  19. Hilarious! I remember when I was married going “whaaaa?” and pretending to be asleep and incoherant.

  20. Never never ASK for sex my friend. Trust me. I don’t mean you should take it….But there is somewhere in between.

    I remember all my dreams, have reoccuring ones often.

    I too, think of others as bigger..that why I write. I write the underdog story.

    Hey, wasn’t that a cartoon too??….

  21. In the wee hours of the night, the mind whispers our truths.

    Does that frighten you?

  22. I’m trying to be more honest in my writing…

    Have you been lying to me Neil?

  23. Isn’t it funny what we say in our sleep? I do that all the time and am thankful that I don’t have anyone in my bed to hear me! How embarrassing!!! 🙂

  24. Wasn’t Felix the Cat an X-rated cartoon? Or do I have my cats mixed up. (There has to be a bad pun in there somewhere, I’m just not sure where.)

  25. I had a nightmare last night as well and woke up crying. All I remember is that Hugh Laurie died during a terrorist attack. Apparently I feel quite close to him.

    Also, kudos to you for asking Sophia if she wanted sex instead of just assuming. You’re good at this whole marriage thing.

  26. Even half asleep she’s of sound enough mind to turn you down for sex. Ouch. Sorry, dude.

  27. pretend you’re a fearless giant, see if you become one….

  28. To avoid questions about my separated/married life, please change the last two lines of this post in your mind from:

    “You want to have sex?” I asked.

    “Zzzzzzzz.”

    TO

    “You want to make me a tuna sandwich?” I asked.

    “Zzzzzzzz.”

  29. first thing i thought of what fritz the cat too. and i’d be happy to make you a tuna sandwich:)

  30. Being able to effectively communicate in our inter-personal relationships is over-rated. Thanks for demonstrating that for us Neil.

  31. Fearless giant could work. I like to think of myself as a marauding tiger.

  32. Neil, I think many of us have that same problem … as far as not acting like the Felix Giants that we all know we really are. Not to be too serious, but wanted to let you know: I feel ya playa.

  33. I once had a dream I had sex with Tom of Tom and JERRY!!

  34. Isn’t “Zzzzzz” Latin for “Absolutely!” ??

  35. 1) I’m trying to be LESS honest in my writing.

    2) You wake that woman up just to blather on about random thoughts that pop into your head? No one would judge her harshly for killing you.

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