the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Cry Me a Trainwreck


Trainwrecks“ is a site that makes fun of blogs.  The site describes a trainwreck as:

“an online journal or blog that is so bad, or so filled with self-delusion, that you just can’t look away.”

Once a week, they have an open thread night, and some blogger mentioned one of my posts as a trainwreck:

“Khate said, 

“Somebody call the waaahmbulance, because blogging is so incredibly taxing.  I can only hope this person is a SAH blogger; because if your body goes into sensory overload from having too many blogs to read, imagine if your job involved actually, y’know, affecting people’s lives.”

post from Citizen of the Month

“This is embarrassing to admit, but I actually started crying yesterday as I was making my way down my blogroll, my body going into sensory overload from caring about the lives and dreams of so many people, and feeling as if I were ‘falling behind.’ Has anyone ever had a nervous breakdown from blogging?”

The next commenter added her two cents.

“Elizabeth said,

“Khate: OMG! I hear you about the SAH thing. If you feel so deeply about a bunch of someones that you *fuckin’ cry when you read your blogroll*, then you have WAY too much time on your hands.”

These comments didn’t bother me at all, because they are both absolutely right.   (and waaahmbulance is sort of clever)

The truth be told — I come from a weird crying family.  We cry at odd moments.  I have cried while reading blog posts, having sex, even watching a really good episode of the Simpsons. 

My father had this habit of crying when he would see homeless women in the street.   He would become so distraught over the idea of a “woman” living in the streets.  His weepiness used to embarrass the hell out of me.

My mother can cry while watching the Oscars. 

My grandmother used to cry playing gin rummy.   Don’t ask me why.  I have no idea.

Ironically, you will rarely see a Kramer family member cry at a funeral. 

Last night, Sophia and I went with Danny, to the Improv, where we saw several comedians, including Sarah Silverman.  On the way home, I had a sudden urge for chocolate milk.  Sophia and I stopped at the supermarket.  Sophia bought her POM and I bought a small container of chocolate milk, the one with the bunny rabbit that is made mostly for kids.  Shit, was that too sweet!  Yuch.  But it brought back happy memories of childhood and I cried. 

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:   Feel the Bra


  1. tamarika

    I cry at so many things all the time – tears well up and there I am – in the midst of it. Happy moments, soulful ones, hysterically funny things make tears pour from my eyes, and memories … of people, dogs, cats, places …
    I cry when I can’t get to read your blog, Neil – you know, when work, reality, life takes over. I cry with relief when I get a few moments to read you again …

  2. NSC

    “Waaahmbulance” is a very old term, once clever, but now not so much. Critics have the easiest job in the world – create nothing, talk down everything.

  3. Dave2

    The irony here is that by doing this, that site is becoming exactly what they have set out to ridicule.

  4. MotherPie

    Thanks to Jay’s blog I discovered you and appreciate your fun post and the link to Trainwreck and the post on Why Read It?

    Good thinking, good discussion. I’m linking to you later in the week, thinking about brains and brainy matters. 😉

  5. michelle

    “When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools.”

    I love King Lear.

    Anyway. Nothing to be ashamed of. Last week, I cried on the bus, after standing next to this homeless woman in the bathroom. Her faced was caked with dripping layers of makeup, red lipstick, bright blue eyeshadow. So I cried about how unfair the world is, how unfair that other people are forced to lead difficult lives.

  6. rach

    Yeah, right or wrong, let those who criticize have their little moan. My blog is for me, to write what I want, when I want to do it. Critics kiss my ass!

  7. rach

    Sorry bit punchy today

  8. deezee

    Funny how they didn’t link to your post on ‘snarky,’ I guess mirror gazing isn’t for that crowd, and I would recommend some happy drugs for their next online gathering because they sound like a pretty cheerless bunch.

    But back to the post they punched…you weren’t really serious, were you?? Playful, humorous, ironic – I hoped. If not, I’m giving you hankies for Hanukkah.

    The other crying – well, isn’t it kind of nice that life touches you enough to elicit emotion? I mean with all the cold stares the world offers, a tear here and there is quite humanizing.

  9. Non-Highlighted Heather

    I cry everyday. I honestly do.

  10. Neil

    I thought the Trainwrecks site was well-written. I don’t have a problem with the site, if it is your cup of tea. But I get Sophia on my back if I write about “blogging” too much, because it is so in-groupie. Even I don’t write about Dooce EVERY DAY!

    And Deezee — yes, I have cried reading your blog, mostly because you write better than me and that pisses me off.

    I also cried when some blogger once sent me a topless photo of herself when Sophia was in New York.  I thought it was the most beautiful gesture anyone has ever done for me.

  11. brooke

    I know you won’t believe this, but I cry all the time. I have choke up while reading stories to my students – which is why I can’t read Charlotte’s Web to them – even though it’s my favorite. I’d never make it through.

  12. Nance

    Brooke–Ditto on that, but I teach high school! I cry during the last chapter of To Kill a Mockingbird, and I have taught that book for 25 years. I cry during The Crucible. I cry during the movies I show even though I’ve seen them 4 times a day for the past 25 years. The students are honestly moved and surprised. I tell them it’s why I love teaching literature. It helps them to become more fully alive.
    (sorry to use your blog comments to kibitz with other bloggers, Neil.)

  13. Churlita

    I still have an issue with people criticizing other blogs – as if bloggers care what other people think. If you don’t like my blog…I got an idea for you, don’t read it.

    As far as crying goes, I’m a girl so I cry when I’m pissed-off and I hate that one part of being a girl. I want to be able to be angry and imposing, just once.

  14. Leslie

    I’m like Holly Hunters character in Broadcast News, I call almost daily!

  15. Rhea

    I think men who cry are the best!

  16. better safe than sorry

    i don’t cry alot, but i cry easily, there are times that i get so easily choked up, wish i could control it, but can’t. out of my three kids, i find my son is the most like me, he’s very emotional, very sensitive to others, he’s going to be a crier, but i don’t see that as a bad thing for a man.

  17. anne

    I don’t mind people criticizing my blog – but isn’t the comment section as good a way as any?
    As for crying, well… it makes the eyes pretty.

  18. ms. sizzle

    if you can’t find something to cry about, something is wrong with you.

  19. Karla

    I cry every time I read a blog post of yours that doesn’t involve an argument between your and your penis.

  20. Jennifer

    I confess I’ve visited that site a time or two, because it’s the perfect trainwreck on its own. But I always hate myself for it. It disturbs me when I find myself somehow amused by people being mean to one another, just because they can.

  21. Lou P.

    You cried during sex?!?

  22. Roonie

    Let’s look at the bigger picture – you’re more famous than before!

  23. Dagny

    I knew that there had to be someone out there who cried openly to serve as a balance to me.

  24. Tatyana

    Neilochka, here’s a hanky for you. There.

    Must be something in the air, from here to LA: men around me have tears in their eyes…
    Not all men, thanks for that.

  25. Crankster

    The end of Snoopy, Come Home! always does it to me.

  26. Neil

    Lou, if you’ve never cried during sex, you’ve never really had sex.

  27. darlin't

    I think it’s sweet that you’d care so much. This post made me smile, but not because someone made fun of you. No…first I growled and then I smiled.

  28. wendy

    The comment you say is clever, make me for you crying, I totally get it. I’ve cried for peoples animals, for their losses. I think having empathy and interest in people who are only words, and kind the act of a man willing to invest in life.
    As for people talking about their importance, how their job is so important..I say…blahblahblah….The most important thing is being human is small ways, consistantly. I hope that I am always a person, with enough time to be invoved and kind to people, other than just my family and friend. If that was a life goal…the only thing you ever about random other people,,,well…you’de die a pretty accomplished person, I think. I’m believing you are being earnest on this onee Neil…

  29. teahouseblossom

    Was it Sarah Silverman who made you cry? I’ll kick her ass!

  30. Mist 1

    I cry all the time too. Of course, I am clumsy and stub my toe all the time.

  31. Jakob

    Crying is a great way to relieve tensions in the cheast and in the jaw. I don’t cry a lot, but when I cry, I try to do it by myself. I think that as an adult one should avoid crying in front of others because it can be used as a cheap trick to get sympathy. So wipe your eyes, and take ten really deep breaths. And then go home and weep in solitude.

  32. JanePoe (aka Deborah)

    I’m feeling way tooooooo empathically connected to you and S tonight that I cannot contemplate chocolate milk, gin rummy, grandmothers, or anything else remotely sentimental regarding coming of age and/or grandmotherly love/acceptance. Arghh!!!

  33. lux lisbon

    God, I detest the word Waaaahmbulance. I think my 8 year old daughter thinks it’s a riot though.

  34. kristen

    As a habitual cryer, I can empathize and even get teary, about your post here. I hate the mean blogs to be honest. A friend went thru something similar (except hers went way over board) and I just don’t understand the reason, even well-written. I guess I like to believe that everyone plays nicely together and the snarky comments are saved for private email. Now I need to go blow my nose.

  35. Two Roads

    People have sex all the time and don’t cry. However, when you really let your emotions and energies go and you are with that one person who you trust and love deeply and you wrap yourself up in the moment of blissfulness then you are making love and crying is as natural a release as an orgasm.

  36. gorillabuns

    i think you and my husband would hit it off. he’s ’emotional’ and i fear getting more emotional everyday.

  37. schmutzie

    Would you believe me if I told you a became all verklempt over the thought of creating a beef jerky and chocolate combo at the drugstore? I did. And the combo was delicious.

    I almost feel like congratulating you on the trainwrecking. It’s like you’ve arrived!

  38. Postmodern Sass

    You’re mother’s the only real man in the family. Crying at the Oscars is perfectly natural. As for the rest of it, you’re a bunch of pussies.

  39. wendy

    I’m talking about you again….

  40. Alexandra

    CAn you post a Youtube video of you crying as you go down your blogroll? I want to see that!
    As for the tears, I wish we cried MORE often. Theres so much in life to be moved by but we hardly make the time to let that in.

  41. nelumbo

    What episode of the Simpsons? I’m curious. There was a really sweet one once where Bart is actually nice to Lisa, the one where he plays jazz drums, and that’s probably the closest I’ve come to having a warm fuzzy feeling from that show…

  42. Neil

    I cry not because of the content but because the story worked so well.

  43. SFGary

    I had to have my tearducts surgically removed because I was watering down my wine…

  44. V-Grrrl

    One of the side benefits of antidepressants is that I stopped crying over movies, news stories, blog entries, church services, all that. Now I’m off them and while I’m not depressed, I cry nearly every day–and I hate it!

  45. kapgar

    Seeing that wrecked Santa Fe Super Chief makes me sad. That’s my favorite train of all time.

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