the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Bloggers Rewrite History!

Participants of Hands Across America in 1986

After 20 shameful years of failure, “Hands Across America” has finally been completed, as bloggers across the country hold “virtual” hands from one coast to the other, creating a “chain of blogger love,” and unifying the United States.  America is back on the right track!


All participants — please touch your monitors tonight at 10PM EST.  You will be holding the virtual hands of other fine American bloggers.  If you were not on the designated cross-country route, please feel free to join in the festivities anyway — or just serve us all some ice cold lemonade.



A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:  The Biggest Tip She Ever Got


  1. plain jane

    LOVE IT!!! “New Age” and technology unite. I feel the love already as anticipation builds.

  2. idighootchandcootch

    I hear bloggers in Luxemburg are trying to organise a similar event. Hands Across Luxemburg however just doesn’t have the same pizzazz.

    Good luck.

  3. Peter

    One hour left!

  4. Mike F

    Does it count if you are wireless? I am covering “south” jersey.

  5. Melissa

    I’m touching mine, are you touching yours?

  6. Dustin

    Totally touching right now.

    Okay 10:01, I can let go now. Where’s my anti-bacterial hand sanitizer…

  7. Neil

    Dustin, is that you in New York? It feels as if you are here in California with me! Like an electrical current is being passed into my hand. I can almost hear the street sounds of Manhattan. And I think I hear, it almost sounds like a rodeo… can that be Texas?… three great American States all as one!

  8. Sarah

    I totally missed it, man! You didn’t say it was going to be TONIGHT! I was putting my kid to bed and I come here to find out the whole thing is over…
    I thought a memo would be going out or something…

  9. Sarah

    By the way, are you the tall geeky kid in that picture up there? Because I would totally believe that.

  10. Neil

    Sarah — while I looked a little like that, that isn’t me. I found it online. I would not have been the type to have participated in this type of event… until now.

    And my hand will always be on my monitor for you, Sarah.

  11. Merujo

    Sonufabitch. I fell asleep on the sofa and missed the moment of virtual togetherness. Damn bronchitis!

    Well, I was there in spirit…

  12. Kestrel

    Doh! I missed it!!

  13. arkansas connection

    i think i’m falling asleep.

  14. arkansas connection

    wait.. you said EST. then I was here!!!

    NOW, i’m going to sleep

  15. Nancy

    So, I go to do a Technorati search, and I see the FEATURED BLOG is Neilocha! What on earth? You are one popular guy.

    Way to go!

  16. Rach

    NUMBER 1  on Entertainment Top Blog Posts on Technorati?

    OMG, OMG!!!  What’s next?

  17. better safe than sorry

    lance is gay, i’m so surprised!!!!

  18. emma

    I caressed my monitor from Austria in a gesture of love, but think I missed the mass orgasm. Ho hum, just one more orgy I arrived too late for.

  19. Kevin

    I misread that thinking it said “we beat off gay Lance Bass.” My bass… er, bad.

  20. Non-Highlighted Heather

    Like Lance Bass being gay is news. Duh.

  21. Charming, but single

    I boycotted this because it excluded my region … and because Blogs Across America is less cool than beer.


    You’re so popular and powerful. How long did it take to organize the first hands across?

  23. plain jane

    I completely missed the previous blog where you explained the “Blog Across America” event. Like a fool I sat with my hand on my monitor at the appointed time, thinking I “felt the love”. I am so gullible. How could you leave out Oregon?! Its official…I am going to run for governor on the platform of Oregon seceding from your “America”. We always felt that we didn’t fit in, this just proves it.

  24. Blonde Vigilante

    I always miss my deadlines.

  25. Rach

    Neil, go look – Lance is gone, and yesterday you were number one in enteryainment blog posts, now you’re number one in Life Blog Posts…

  26. Trix

    Lance Bass, GAY? Who knew?

  27. jenny

    This was one of the most amazing events I’ve ever participated in! But I would like to officially state for the record that I was using performance enhancing drugs when I held hands with those other two states. It doesn’t make this victory any less sweet for America, though.

  28. Paris Parfait

    Good luck with that! Even if it doesn’t work, at least you got the publicity. And as you know from living in LA, all publicity is good.

  29. Tara

    You know, your post was SO much more interesting than the story about Lance Bass being gay. Thank god they didn’t reprint the one about him wanting to go up in space. Now THERE’S some competition.

  30. Kyle

    I propose you make t-shirts to commemorate the event, with a logo on the front and this triumphant declaration on the back:


  31. treespotter

    *desperately trying to work out time zone differences to touch the blonde’s hand*

  32. laurie

    I’ll fondle my monitor in solidarity.

  33. Sandra

    This is much better than Hands Across America. Computers don’t sweat!

  34. mrs mogul


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